Getting Oriented

master-mistress-sub-slave
Mountain Joe: I am a Dom, new to wireclub and am finding my way around. So far my encounters with the "like minded" D/s folks here has been less than friendly or welcoming. Seems like a very clannish or clique type group. I hope I am reading it all wrong and I just have to adjust. Just want to announce my presence here and assert that I mean no disrespect to anyone in the lifestyle. Our views may differ somewhat, but basically I hope there is more sameness than difference.
I am a somewhat private person but will open up to friendly encounters.
11 years ago Report
2
sweet_p_
sweet_p_: hi Joe
I joined Wire at the beginning of the summer. I can understand what you mean by clique type group but my advice is to hang in there. I know that is what I am trying to do. Its hard being the new guy. I think posting here lets others know you are serious about the lifestyle and not a player and maybe that will help. I have seen several different bdsm rooms but have only been in one so I can't tell you how they are different. Perhaps you have explored them already. Good luck to you.
11 years ago Report
0
pinkedden
pinkedden: i did not realise W/we were being perceived as being so cliquey, i do not believe it is A/anyone's intention E/everyone is welcome at least as far as i am concerned. i am dd, an owned sub (although in a different timezone to most) its nice to meet You Joe.
11 years ago Report
0
Mountain Joe
Mountain Joe: Nice to meet you two and thanks for your comments. I just spent several minutes in the sisterhood chat room where five other chatters were chatting away, and was not greeted by any of them. That is the type of unfriendliness I allude to. Of course I could have taken the initiative and said hello, but I didn't .... I know that is the response. Still, I submit a greeting would have been a nice gesture if it were not a clique.
11 years ago Report
1
DubsGirl
DubsGirl: So... Ive been here for almost 4 years now. I am in the D/s lifestyle and I have to say that I have plenty of "friends" in the lifestyle and I feel like an out cast because I'm not part of their "clique". Which is why I have basically stopped chatting with people. In my opinion, newcomers arent really accepted here unless you fit in with certain people. I know this is probably going to piss people off... but its the truth. On top of that... you have people who cant stand other people so its almost impossible to be friends with anyone.

This is just MY opinion mind you.... and I will probably lose friends over it... but its how I feel. I do wish you the best of luck here. If you would like to chat please feel free to message me
11 years ago Report
0
pinkedden
pinkedden: i have never really spoken to you ApachesGirl, i do not believe you and i have ever been in a room at the same time though i am sorry that has been your experience, the two of Y/you, i guess i can only speak for myself unless my real life is distracting me i always say hi
In my opinion, people are people, in real life and online, so you are right, we are not all going to get on, we are human with flaws and diverse opinions.

Just my opinion is all.
11 years ago Report
0
DarkDreems
DarkDreems: Having been on and off wire at times, and being present for some of the evolution of the culture, I think what you are mostly sensing is a group that has had some shared tough times, and drawn closer together because of it, and became more sufficient amongst themselves because they found that they could rely on each other's support. Aside from that, the size and energy level of the BDSM community on wire waxes and wanes, currently is at a lower ebb, and thus the number of people around to be sociable is not what it once was, nor what it may be in the future.
11 years ago Report
0
DubsGirl
DubsGirl: I agree with what you are saying dd.... however... when like minded new comers go into a room I feel like they should at least be welcomed with warm greeting... Im not sayin that you dont do it because Im sure you do.... but most of the time it just doesnt happen. Newcomers often feel left out. And some of us old timers feel the same.
11 years ago Report
0
pinkedden
pinkedden: i think you are right DD
11 years ago Report
0
tsukikohime
tsukikohime: Joe, i am sorry that was Your experience. As a part of the sisterhood, i can let You know that it is our intent that E/everyone who come into the Blue Rose is welcomed and felt included and i apologize if that was not Your experience. i, myself, have not been around much lately but please feel free to visit with us again. Yes, it is true that some of the individuals have bonded due to experiences, but that certainly does not mean we are not open to include new people. Agirl i am sorry to hear that you currently feel distanced and if there is sometime that i can do, please let me know.
11 years ago Report
0
DubsGirl
DubsGirl: Its not that I feel distanced moon.... its just that when I go into D/s rooms I feel so left out because 1. I have NO idea who is with who anymore... and 2. I sit there like a bump on a log because nothing is hardly said to me. Its fine really... Im just saying that if someone who has been around as long as I have feels that way.... than how is a newcomer going to feel?
11 years ago Report
0
tsukikohime
tsukikohime: well again, i have been out of the loop myself lately, but jump right in i am sure it will work out as you are around more and more again. hopefully, i will be around more myself...
11 years ago Report
1
pinkedden
pinkedden: Glad to here you are going to be around more moon, i've missed you
11 years ago Report
0
zzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzz: hey joe
you are right dear. but its not anybodys fault i think newcomers will have to take the first step.
11 years ago Report
0
Mountain Joe
Mountain Joe: Well it has become apparent that I am out of synch with either the times or the lifestyle …. Just doesn’t seem like my kinda game … having visited the few chat rooms that claim to be D/s oriented I find children at play supported by alleged practitioners of the D/s lifestyle. So, what do I do now? Well, guess I can join in the fun and games, become a fantasy animal or super being, walk on ceilings … wrap my wings around myself … etc, etc ….
Just “aint” my style …. But apparently it is the way of the wireclub D/s impersonators …. The title of Dom/me or sub seems a farce and, in fact, a disgrace to the lifestyle here in the chat rooms.
So, I am left with the option of just lurking here in the forums ….maybe opening my own chat room …. Going from vanilla room to vanilla room …. Or just drifting out in the vast wonderland of wirecljub, which I find to be a really good site, easy to use and enjoy.
If any sincere and serious practitioners of the D/s lifestyle cares to chat I will open my profile and become friends. I know there are at least a few of us here that do not play at being comic book characters.
Sigh …I had so hoped that wireclub had a serious group of D/s practitioners.
11 years ago Report
0
KittenBlu
KittenBlu: I have been following this thread and pondering the thoughts of both friends and strangers. Our community is being judged by old and new. And this is a good thing. Self examination can only help us grow and learn and become stronger.

That being said, any group particiipating in any lifestyle, whether it be D/s or race car fans, have many levels of participation. Yes, there are people here at wire that participate at a light and fun level of exploration. Yes, it is often a game for some. Yes, there is silliness and imagination play. But, there are also people participating on a deep devotion level. Some of us are truly into the D/s lifestyle and try our best to participate in our own ways. And if i want to wear ears and a tail and sometimes be silly, as long as mySir does not object, it is ok. Now, it is not His "style" by any means. For Him, it is "theatricals". But He doesnt see any harm in me participating as long as i act as a princess not at truck driver.

I started as one of the silly players in this lifestyle and as i moved from Dom to Domina...i grew and learned. As children learn thru play, so do new comers to the lifestyle. Now i do not wish to be seen as any kind of authority of D/s... i only know what i have lived. But i hope i am percieved as a true sub (switch).

As to greetings, i myself try to greet each and every person who enters a room i am in. However, if i am brb, in the middle of a convo......or my computer is just being a freakin' butt....i may miss someone. And as far as talking with people, conversation is a 2 way street. I am not as good at keeping the convo going as well as i should....but i am also not the cruise director. I am not here for anyone's entertainment.

Yes, unfortunately, the D/s community is an ever evolving creature. Partners change, names change, people leave and people come ( no pun intended ). This is life at wire...this is life in the real world. I am sorry to everyone who has felt on the outside looking in. I can only promise to try harder myself....but i am only one small kitty. Have a wonderous day and i hope we all chat soon.
11 years ago Report
1
DubsGirl
DubsGirl: Umm... I have a question.... and I really dont want this convo to be taken off the original subject... but umm... you comment "But i hope i am percieved as a true sub (switch)." How exactly is that possible? In my mind, you are either a Switch... or a true sub... because a true sub is just that... a SUB.... not a switch
11 years ago Report
0
KittenBlu
KittenBlu: i am trying to find my place in the world.....when i do i will let the world in on my secret....mmwwaahahahahahha
11 years ago Report
0
DubsGirl
DubsGirl: So classifying yourself as a true sub and a switch means what then?... Im not trying to start anything... but its just got me wondering...
11 years ago Report
0
KittenBlu
KittenBlu: how many months/years.....did you resist admitting to being a switch?......how hard was it to give up the total submission of self?......i am in transition......i refuse to give up kitteness.....i dont know that i even like MissKitty......i am her....she is me....we are them.....who knows......i am on a journey to find out.....hopefully i find room for them both....i am a kitten of many dementions .....and dementias......watch out world....here i come.....or we come.....or she comes..... geez.......it's a freakin' army
11 years ago Report
0
DubsGirl
DubsGirl: It was along time before I allowed myself to admit that I was a switch.... but before that, I didnt say that I was a Switch and a sub.... but each to their own I guess
11 years ago Report
0
halleydarkrose
halleydarkrose: insert truck driver comment here: _______________________________________________
11 years ago Report
2
tsukikohime
tsukikohime: i think that for people who are, T/themselves involved in an alternative lifestyle, it is a shame to spend so much time judging others. To each H/his own indeed. So what if my D/s is not exactly the same as Y/your D/s, that doesn't make either better or worse than the other. This lifestyle is about self expression and finding what works for each individual/couple/family, etc. i my humble opinion, and i am no authority goodness knows, W/we all need to spend less time judging O/others choices and make the best of the life, it is much to short after all...
11 years ago Report
3
DubsGirl
DubsGirl: For the record... I am not judging anyone.... I merely asked a question. And this is EXACTLY what I was talking about when I said that basically newcomers arent welcome.... apparently asking questions gets one out casted.....
11 years ago Report
0
tsukikohime
tsukikohime: honestly, agirl, i was not referring to you, i was speaking of some statements that were made to me today about some of the role play and little stuff that goes on here on wire. the statement was made that anyone who participates in that is not "real" D/s and although i am not big into that kind of stuff, i don't condemn anyone else's right to do so...
11 years ago Report
0
DubsGirl
DubsGirl: All Im saying is that I am not here to judge anyone... but I dont think that merely asking questions seems to pose a problem. I am not here to say what is and isnt real. To be honest, I dont care what you do as long as it doesnt hurt someone I love and care for....
11 years ago Report
0
Page: 12