Journal of mrshaskins a submissive wife <3 little lady bug: A journal about the experiences of my submissive life. .. . I'll start here. It was 6/19/09 a summer day, beautiful on all counts. I wore a long white wedding gown (some thing new). On my neck a crystal necklace (something borrowed). But underneath, was where i wore something old as well as something blue. My boy cut panties were blue, a purchase made for me by my soon to be husband just days before. At the top of my leg i was adorned with something old. A garter belt worn by my grandmother at her wedding. It still had its silken touch to it. I was walked down the aisle by my father that day where he gave me to my soon to be husband. We wrote our own vows each in our own words expressing our undying love for each other. He pulled me down the Aisle of the church and we thanked every one for coming. The reception came and went and he drove me home to consumate our marriage and that night my heart and soul belonged to him forever. It was much later the trust built and built and our love grew into now where i have offically given myself over to Him to be my lover/Lord/friend and Dom. It was all so recently but so quickly developed. I as always spoke to Him about my needs and wants and ideas and He immediately did what He could to tend to me. The next night He called me from work and advised me to be waiting in our room with the door shut on my knees with a pillow beneath them of course to protect me from any unwanted pain. It clicked quickly and flawlessly... I am His. He is my reason for getting up, keeping tidy the house, and breathing. I am His wife/woman/lover/friend and i am His submissive in all of them.  little lady bug: Lesson #1 -mrshaskins, Philadelphia. 30yrs old. I am owned by my husband and Lord, Lord Nycon. •WHAT DO YOU HOPE TO GAIN FROM THIS EXPERIENCE? What i hope to gain from this experience is the insight i need to be a better sub to my Lord. I wish do be able to keep him pleased at any cost to myself and learn from any mistakes i make along the way. little lady bug: Task #2 What does submission mean to you? I have given my body and heart and all of my trust to my Dom/Husband. I ask Him permission to do things to myself as well as Him. I crave the time i will spend alone with Him knowing that He has taken upon himself the responsibility of being my Dom. It makes me feel safe to be owned by Him. I am willing to wait on my knees for Him minimally dressed. I am potentially given tasks to complete while He is away or other wise busy that i am pleaseed and pleasured to do for Him. I feel pleasure knowing i have pleased Him with my tasks being completed as i have been told to do. I feel excited when He gives me the punishments i have coming to me and ecstasy when He kisses my wounds and welts and makes them better because He is tentative to not only my needs for being put in my place but also for the love and contentment i need to feel. little lady bug: Lesson 3 – TERMS Question: Dominants should always be typed with a Capital letter and submissives with a lowercase letter, unless otherwise instructed. Why? We capitalize Dom to show respect for the title they have well earned through showing they can be gentle and caring and empathetic to our needs as well as keep us disciplined but through that which is their love and kind words and affection. A Dom should be for all intensive purposes overly aware of His/Her subs/slaves/pets feelings and motivations. We as subs/slaves/pets have lowercased titles out of this respect which we from our bended knees offer our Doms. (Edited by little lady bug) little lady bug: Lesson#4 safe word and limits Well the only word seeming effective is SAFE WORD!! However, i have the pleasure every day of being owned by one man and that is my husband/Lord. He looks into my eyes at all times and when i am being disciplines i notice he listens very carefully so he knows my limits before i have reached them by looking at me or listening to the difference in my tone of moans or whimpers. Does any one ever reach a time they hit safe word time? i have never experienced it. Please tell me your experiences... As far as my limits our roles are such that he is my husband as well as my Dom/Lord and while i have a Trainer we allow no one else into this marriage as we are very big on monogamy. However, i do not chastise those who are not every one has another dynamic than we. Now i am not opened to any of the skat, pee pees, children or animals of any kind. A limitation for us as well is we keep our relationship secret from our children although he does gently remind me discretely when im in need of a reminder. little lady bug: Lesson #5 What does it mean to be obedient. To obey means to listen and do. No questions are necessary unless your life rights are in danger in some way. As a sub i find i spend much of my time looking for the things i should do on top of obey my Lord. I love to have a tall glass of iced tea ready when he gets home and dinner on the table. I feel these is part of my being obedient because i know he has set these expetations for our home. little lady bug: Lesson #6 Why is communication important in the D/s relationship? With out communication between and Dom and his sub in a relationship it is very possible for a Dom to become over controlling and over look the qualities the sub He/She loves has.Also, because this type of relatioship is so based on mutual love and respect and having a deeper sense of each others needs the Dom and sub are both in positions to hurt each other on a deeper level than before. For this reason it is essentioal that the two comminucate their wants and needs so the sub does not have to experience the disappointment of the Dom and the Dom does not have to try and read His/Her subs mind. Each must know immediately and before hand the needs of the other in order to spare feelings and consequences. (Edited by little lady bug) little lady bug: Lesson #7 Why is honesty so inportant between a Dom/sub? It is important to the safety of the sub that she/he is honest about limitations as well as terms among all other things. It is important that the Dom be honest with the sub especially up front tell her/him what is expected. This type of relationship can not thrive with out complete honesty. Dishonesy is the way to tear apart any realationship. (Edited by little lady bug)  DexterMorgan: Theres some lessons in here that most ppl in a non Dom/sub relationship should take note of. little lady bug: Lesson #8 Why do you need to trust your Dominant? Why do they need to trust you? i feel i need to trust my Dom because he have given him this gift and once you give this gift to a Dom you must expect He will use it. If this was not the intention the gift should not have been given in the first place and a different lifestyle choice or at least some serious self reflection in ones self may be in order. i give my Dom the power and control to do with me what He wants and love me how He feels fit. It was explained to me very early on by my Trainer that the gift of a sub is not something to be taken lightly. with that understanding i was able to see why i wanted my Dom to have this power. i feel my Dom needs to trust me because if He does not it can be disastrous to both our marriage, and lifestyle. My Dom and i have found more and more how deeply emotional this dynamic actually is. Therefore, any feelings of bitterness or distrust can and will lead to disaster.  KittenBlu: trust is defined .... reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence although the first answer is interesting....im not quite sure it answers why you need to trust your Dom if i am wrong, please forgive me little lady bug: Lesson #8 Why do you need to trust your Dominant? Why do they need to trust you? Okay i am going to try to explain myself better this time... I must trust my Lord because he always has my best interest at heart. It is for him to decide what the best course of action is wheather it be where our money is spent or wheater i could make dinner for him at 5 oclock or 7oclock. It is for him to decide if it is my best interest to spend my day focusing on my sons education or my art work that day. or both. It is for him to decide how much time should be spent on each thing...When I am not left with a task of some kind i feel empty and vulnerable to his disapporval or displeasure because i dont know what to do. It is imperritive also that i trust my Lord because there are so many surrounding factors that could potentially destroy our relationship if he were to let them. Simple things like a girl looking for a Dom and asking my husband who has happily married on his profile. I must trust my Dom to make the right choices or it could lead to distrust. It is necessary that my Dom trust me so that he knows i am doing my tasks to the best of my abilty. He needs to trust me so we have a successful relationship. If he feels my heart is not in the things i do for him and us these things will mean nothing to him . little lady bug: Lesson #9 What is your definition of respect? My definition of respect is giving one the honor they deserve. It means one should not speak in a rude manner to this person, take this persons opinion as rule or at the very least into consideration. I respect my Lord quite differently than I respect my children and even my own father. My daughters work hard every day to be good kids and my son learns every day for this I respect all three by being patient with their needs and the time it takes them to get things accomplished and explained because they are trying. I do have one child who has made a bad habit of lying therefore I have less respect for her and therefore I believe very little that comes out of her mouth if any thing at all. My father I respect as a provider for me during my childhood. I respect him also for the love he unconditionally showed my mother and continues to show every day. His ability to put his family before all other things in his life has always been a reason for me to respect him as well as the lessons he taught me growing up and I am able to apply now. My Dom/Lord is the man of my own household now. I respect him by avoiding questioning his reasons for things as well as how hes ding things because he has shown his ability to take care of my needs as well as the needs of the children. As well as handle our financial affairs and home repairs. So my definition of respect I suppose is the way I treat some one based on what I know about them. However in all cases these people I respect are treated differently and I have different reasons for respecting them. |