Journal of mrshaskins a submissive wife <3 (Page 2) little lady bug: Lesson #10 what importance does commitment play in the D/s relationship? I believe commitment plays an extraordinarily important part in the D/s relationship. One must be all in or all out of these relationships. These are not a relationship to be toyed with and again I am able to take a lesson I learned from my trainer, which was offering oneself is not to be taken lightly. I believe what he was trying to tell me is once you give yourself to your Dom, you are his. You belong to him and you are to obey him. Or displease him and that will have repercussions. It is important to the self esteem, well being and self worth that the Dom is completely committed to his sub. Neither a Dom nor a sub can take on the control and responsibility of his sub/slave/ pet or the responsibility of pleasing her Dom and living her life to please him and then decide one day the lifestyle doesn’t fit any more. . In both situations this is where the respect and trust come in. One cannot have a successful relationship with out those to pillars holding it up. This could be done if it was understood by both Dom/sub that this was not for them, which is where it is important for the communication to come in. I assume with work a relationship can go back to its original state after the thrills and lifestyle of Dom/sub. I do believe it would be a major adjustment for both parties though and would take time. The obvious answer for me is we are married and take monogamy very seriously … there has never been a point in the past that we have invited others into our marriage and even when we have thought about a 3rd person in our bed the conclusion has always remained that it shouldn’t happen because it would end up with one of us hurt. Our particular marriage is also governed by the messages and scriptures in the Bible and it is Gods will that no other enters our bed and therefore we keep it that way for that reason as well. little lady bug: Lesson#11 What have you gained from this experience? I have been able to really get a good introspection of myself as a sub and my husband as my Dom. My Dom and I have become even closer if that is even possible by being able to read one another’s responses to the questions. We have spent many a day and night talking to each other about this lifestyle as well as its pros/cons… We have spoken about the reasons we answered the questions the way we did and decided between the two of us that this lifestyle is what fits for us. I ever enjoy being kept in my place and he enjoys being the one to put me there. I like the feeling of his watchful eye over me always responding to my work in a positive way or teaching me lessons I need be taught. Specifically in our relationship this is what we find both acceptable and enjoyable.  KittenBlu: very good finish to your lessons ....im glad you got something out of it....please continue posting if that helps you little lady bug: 6/20/2012 It has been established today formal as well as vanilla and play names. My Lord is during formal times such as with children or others not part of this lifestyle called Darling and refers to me as love. We decided that it was important to have a way to reach each other on this level when speaking to each other in front of others without them knowing I was being told to do something by my Dom nor that I need something from him as his sub. Whereas in most situations my husband and I will be able to read each other’s facial expressions this acts as a safety net to communicate when necessary in public. In July we are going on vacation to the Pocones with my family and we are all renting a house together. In this type of setting it will be important for us to be able to communicate and not seem weird and make others uncomfortable. This will be another reason for us to have established these things by then and be comfortable with them. As far as intimate times as well as play i call him my Lord. Slave he feels puts an emphasis on me having no choice which is obviously not the case and therefore in all situations he calls me love as it is not something that may would draw attention but if it does he immediately switches to vanilla. We have decided as well that during interaction with vanillas (plain people not in this life style who may be suspicious) hun, dear etc are used. We will begin talking about responsibilities this evening and what we Want/need from each other. How things will be played out etc. This was to document how far we have come and give others new to the lifestyle something to read and think about. I hope you have all either enjoyed or learned …. his lady (Edited by little lady bug) (Post deleted by little lady bug ) little lady bug: To my Lord a Poem 6/21/2012 Every, morn I shall bring You coffee because i wish to take care of You. At noon i will cook to fill Your stomach. When i take Your dishes to the kitchen i will kiss you to fill Your heart. I shall have Your ice cold beverage ready when You return from work. i will settle You in for the evening. On a night i am graced by Your presence before dinner is served i shall have it on the table and waiting for You. As long as You protect me, You love me, You want me. I will indeed take care of You. I will lay next to You in bed and i will listen to you speak of work related things that are beyond my understanding. i will be always ready for You always clean and new and always kept the way You want to find me. I will always have Your towels ready in the bathroom when You call and tell me You wish to shower.To save You the extra steps, will set Your bathrobe to the side so You can comfortably transition from work to home. i ill wash Your back in the shower and cut Your hair once a month. i will kneel at Your feet and offer myself to You newly every day. i want to serve you to be Your everything You want me to be. To give You all i have. i will lay with You at night read U/us both to sleep. i will be Your every thing You want me to be. (Edited by little lady bug) |