INTELLIGENT & BEAUTIFUL...

uglycow10
uglycow10: When it comes to dating....do smart women have to "dumb" themselves down in order to not intimidate the man?
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Aura
Aura: No. If you can't be yourself, why bother with the guy?
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uglycow10
uglycow10: I completely agree with you.
i was watching a talk show & that was the dilemma tha onw woman had.. She was acutally well-educated and owned a business.
In order to get a date she had to pass herself off as a secretary. Apparentlt, admitting that she was a business owner was too itimidating for mosy guys.
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Aura
Aura:

That does say a lot more about the lady's tastes than men in general though. She probably likes ambitious competitive guys. And for those types to be comfortable they have to feel 'better' than the person they are with. They want someone who looks up to them.


Seems the perception for a lot of guys is still that a woman can not look up to a partner and be successful herself at the same time.
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uglycow10
uglycow10: i think that because men have traditionally been viewed as "hunter-gatherers"....and since the beginning of time, males have been socialized to adopt the role of "provider"....it is difficult to for men to accept successful women.....women who have intelligent opinions & comversations....women who can take care of themselves, financially & who are highly educated.
I suppose tha! t it takes some getting-used-to!
Actually, I am a firm believer in....hoghly educated people shoukd hook up with equeally succesful & highly educated partners who can appreciate their accomplishments.....otherwise it is not going to work out.
That's just the way it is.
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lori100
lori100: I've seen shows about this, too. On one show men in the audience said they didn't feel the successful women needed them.....men want to feel needed and appreciated.....When many of the successful women were on dates they basically told the man their resume...all their accomplishments. Men often say a sweet , loving, sexy woman who can cook is what they want, not a hard nosed businesswoman.
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uglycow10
uglycow10: ...both men & women need TLC & I think that men shoud be thrilled when their woman is intelligent....and not feel threatened by her smarts.
Neither man not woman shoukd feel as though they have to "dumb down" their inteligence in order to get love.
In my opinion, a man who hooks up wth a woman who will give him love; cook & clean...and is intelligent to boot....that guy has hit the jackpot!!!!!! if he has an issue with her intelligence....she needs to gve him the boot! becase he definitey has issues.
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lori100
lori100: I agree...but, the male ego is very real...
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uglycow10
uglycow10: .....and that's the crux of the problem.......!!!!!
You happen to be quite right!
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lori100
lori100: Yes....it has been said women have changed, but men haven't...they still prefer looks and sex appeal over high intelligence....
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uglycow10
uglycow10: ...it's also the "control issue".....although there are some highly educated women who allow themselves to be comtrolled just because they don't want to lose the man.

That's so wring....to spend years of your life getting educated....then to dash it all because some guy cannot deal with it..

I had an acquaintance whose b/friend put her down with insults....and threw her education in her face. Said the she thought that she was better than he, because she was college educated and he dropped out of high school....
Incompaatibility at it's best!
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lori100
lori100: Yep, it happens...
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jimmy67incanada
jimmy67incanada: I don't think it breaks down in as simple a fashion as the first glance indicates. Granted most men are insecure infants throughout life but people are attracted to those they are most compatible with so it comes down to caliber of person. A high caliber woman would find a much smaller pool of compatible men and by pretending to be of lower caliber she adds the lowest caliber men to the pool because they are easily fooled. For her to find real relationship success she should maintain integrity and apply more effort to her search than the common unimaginative woman.
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uglycow10
uglycow10: I mostly agree, Jimmy. it shoud not be a "fasely engineered compatibility".. It shoud not be manipulated in any sense..
On other words, people should just ne themselves...and "let the chips fall where they may". We should never have to alter our personality or dumb-down our intelligence in order to find a partner..
Fortunately some men are able to tlook past the high inteligence component & just appreciate the woman for who she is. For the most part, i think that it makes them feel , less.to be woth a woman of high intelligence.....and they should not fee that way.

PS...."men are big infants (true)
South park sign displayed by a Canadian (cool)
....let's "blame Canada" for that warped thinking....lol
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wolfboy5555
wolfboy5555: The smarter woman the better. I resent being called a big infant. I won't blame Canada. As long as you are both honest with each other and then don't worry. Intelligence turns me on but that's just me.
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uglycow10
uglycow10: ...Intelligence turns you on?????
Very rare statement coming from a man, Can't say that any of my chat pals have eer said that to me....but I quite like it
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Aura
Aura: It's not that rare. They've even identified it as a separate sexuality recently.
http://sapiosexual.com/
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uglycow10
uglycow10: Well now.....the great news in your statement is that it is not rare.! They don't need to conduct studies/surveys.
men
It is ok for men to admire our beauty but they should also admire us for our intelligence....that's the full package right there.
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jimmy67incanada
jimmy67incanada: hmmmm in any given group of people the majority assume they are the most intelligent person there......only one could be correct
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lori100
lori100: Men may like intelligence, not Einstein intelligence maybe.....and don't correct their facts or statements when they are wrong....as on wire, men don't tolerate being proven wrong well....
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wolfboy5555
wolfboy5555: I don't mind being corrected when I'm wrong.
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Dan_Long
Dan_Long: Sounds like the mans problem. I was sleeping with a woman for awhile who owned a business, a BMW, a Ferrari and a big-ass mansion. That she is more successful than me didn't keep me from: being protective of her, being assertive towards her or even picking her up and f***ing her against the wall (in the office of her very successful business). Dealing wiht people, thus funning a business requires "woman's skills". We can still act like cavemen even if she is making more money.
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Dan_Long
Dan_Long: Actually, come to think of it, my wife makes more money than me at the moment, and its pretty well established that she is smarter than me.
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uglycow10
uglycow10: To Dan...
I totally agree with you that even if the woman has riches and power...she still wants a man who can take control in the boudoir...or wherever. She does not need a mam who will cower because of her strengths. ! She wants her man to be a man....not a mouse. !
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SWlNE
SWlNE: Not for me. I don't feel intimidated by an intelligent woman, it's welcomed and encouraged. It's great to have someone who is capable of carrying out a stimulating conversation and who have a deep personality to challenge your own ideas or flow/add to it.
It isn't new either, in ancient Greece there was the hetaera. Aspasia was a popular one. Also the Geisha in Japan who were to be cultured though I don't think they were as influential or deeply taught as the Hetaeras of Greece.
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uglycow10
uglycow10: I have to google Hetaeras. I assume that because men are socialized from small to think of themselves as the breadwinners/hunter-gatherer that it is a bit difficult to think of a female adopting that role .
It is refreshing that you have a positive take on it....most men feel as though they are less if their monetary contribution is less.... And the key word is, "monetary"
I think that a brainy woman is sometimes an unwrlcomed challenge to some males.

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