deacon7771: Nobody wants to admit it, everybody will deny it, but I suspect most ppl are in sexless marriages.
deacon7771: Marriage converted you to a nun? Wow! What a coincidence! My marriage converted me from a sex obsessed healthy young man into a hermit-monk! I may as well be castrated. Positively AMAZING what a "good marriage" can do for people...
LoisS: If you have discussed the issue over the years and nothing has changed....my question is, why are you still there ESD?
For others, please dont bother with the "sex isnt the only thing in a marriage" BS, because this is the topic at hand atm.
EpicStarDust: Hi Lois... Because I married him... in sickness and in health... Suppose I was stricken with cancer and lost my sex drive due to treatments and any necessary surgery. Would it be fair for him to leave me because I lost my enthusiasm for sex? 🤔 Or because I became high maintenance in my health? This is only a scenario... (but cancer does run in my family) By all other accounts... he is a good guy. Sure... I can leave him and go find a guy with a great sex drive... but will he be an alcoholic or an addict by the time he retires? Will he be verbal or physical abusive with me when he gets frustrated with his life? 😕 Will he gamble all our money away? I dont expect any of these scenarios from my partner. A lot worst things in life than the absence of sex. Yes... I get frustrated about the absence of sex... but there many other joys in life to behold. 🌸
LoisS: I respect what you said and how you feel but I also think its bogus. Abusive, Alcoholic, Addict I mean..these are the choices? Come on now, that sounds like some hullabuloo. Why have all these emotions over "what could happen". From what you said it doesnt seem like a health issue. Why invent scenarios that havent happened to make your point? Wasnt me who said "I feel like a nun" jokes or not there is obviously an issue and I was asking you about it. You felt like you had to say he is a good guy. Well why would anyone think he wasnt? Sex isnt always about boinking. Being intimate with each other is a connection and once that is broken, its hard to get it back because with out it, there is a break down of everything else. This is why I asked if you have spoken about it with him and why stay if its a problem that you or he is not resolving.
If I got sick *Knock wood* would I expect my husband who is still sexually interested, to just not bother anymore with his needs? Esp if mine are taken care of yet I am not interested in sexual anything. Is that fair? "In sickness and in Health" didnt say anything about torture. I am talking about when sex is important to a relationship and the couple. Not if you guys are okay with out bothering with it. To me, that wouldnt be a problem now would it.
MylindaS: if your husband fucks around while you are laying there on your death
bed you already lost him. But seeing you type that Lois just tells
us that you already consider him dead,
LoisS: You are looking at it like "fucking around" as you put it. YET it might have been a mutual decision you both have already made.
I am not debating it, I was asking about it.
Motati: It sounds like it is given that in a sexless marriage the husband is always sexually active, it's a woman who is not. You will be shocked to know that more and more men are not as sexually active as they claim to be.
FunkyBiscuits82: If you're with someone who doesn't regularly have sex with you, then something is either wrong with you, the other person, or both of you. You and the other person would need to find out what is wrong and fix it (if it can be fixed), or find more compatible people for each other.
(This is written with the assumption that someone would be unhappy in a sexless marriage, bc I cannot fathom why anyone would be happy in one, but it may happen, idk.)
reyalberto45: Here, Here… I must admit my deepest secret. No Sex In Marriage, why? I guess many answer to that question, but none really comforting. How I miss it, the touch, the moan’s, well hell everything.
Motati: Sorry about your wife's health. If your partner is not well you realise that as much as sex is seen as important in Maslow's hierarchy of needs, the priority is your partner's health, and you deal with your sexual needs individually.