Problem/Solution (Page 10)

jbananaz234
jbananaz234: Hmmmm, you might need to follow your own advice ck
Or else build a spaceship, launch it from my frozen backyard with the heat guns powering lift off.... orbit into space where there is zero gravity.....

You cant drink shots in space...
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ColonelKusanagi
ColonelKusanagi: couldn't you bottle them individually and put spouts that you bite off each? make the containers of candy and they're a good snack too. drink a bit of rocket fuel and forget your troubles.

some moron i dated a few times a couple years ago thought it was time to text me again.
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jbananaz234
jbananaz234: Ok definitely time to experiment with those lil shot bottles and launch yourself in to space.... That way when the explosive device you have made for said ex (that is camoflauged as a mentos experiment) will detonate while you are in space... nd you will have an air tight alibi....

I added hot pepper flakes to my dish and my.lips are on fire....
(Edited by jbananaz234)
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ColonelKusanagi
ColonelKusanagi: drink some soda, skip the milk it only spreads it, use some sweet chapstick and or some flavored lube, that should help

i don't wanna go to space yet.
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oneamazingworld
oneamazingworld: try a safari - fun times

my kid took a dump in a advertised toilet at Home Depot - TRUE STORY - many years ago lol
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Nicotina
Nicotina: Go over to the toilet & jiggle the handle. Say "Well this one doesn't work" and walk out in a huff.

I love chocolate but it gives me headaches.
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oneamazingworld
oneamazingworld: headaches and zits - argg f the endorphins produced - proactin too expensive - try valerin

Popcorn stuck in my teeth floss not working
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Nicotina
Nicotina: Gargle with salt water. It should keep the inflammation down at least.
If that doesn't work, pull out the tooth, remove the popcorn and reinsert the tooth.

A wound is healing and it's itchy!
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ColonelKusanagi
ColonelKusanagi: use Eucerin or witch hazel, i swear by them, if neither works feel free to remove excess irritant flesh with a razor.

i'm being used as a tether ball.
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jbananaz234
jbananaz234: Chew through the string with your teeth, freeing yourself...then LAUNCH yourself into orbit towards the closest object of hatred and beat him with your ball.... ahem..


I made myself a hot bath to curb the chill in my bones, but forgot to pay attention.to the amount of cold water going in....after trying to remedy it i am now sitting shivering in a tepid tub like Leonardo di Caprio in "Whatever happened to Gilbert Grape"
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ColonelKusanagi
ColonelKusanagi: eew get outta that water and put a few pots on the boil to heat that thing up. add a bubble bath and make a bubble fortress to hide from the chills.

i gotta wake up too early and i'm not the least bit sleepy
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jbananaz234
jbananaz234: Stay up and work right through it, you will be the smartest, funniest person you know....able to outwit any other mere mortal...

My cat's farts are horrid...
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ColonelKusanagi
ColonelKusanagi: change the pussy's diet, that's almost always the culprit. have you considered feeding her roast people?

my debit card was compromised and i gotta wait 3 days for a new one. :/
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jbananaz234
jbananaz234: (Lol, maybe ill feed the cat to the dogs )
Lurk by the bank wearing blue work coveralls and a cap) until the Brinks truck arrives, wait for the brinks guard to come out with the full bag... use your impressive skills and disarm him, take the bag (and key, guards arm if needed... makes nice pulled meat sandwiches) abscond with it using your cloak if invisibility.

I have the munchies....
(Edited by jbananaz234)
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ColonelKusanagi
ColonelKusanagi: make some pulled pork sammiches, i've got security guards, want some?

i may have had more than my share of people this year and it's still so early in the year.
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jbananaz234
jbananaz234: Wellllllllll is it finally time for time travel? Pardon the pun...but you could change everything, the where, the when and the who you are with.


I want a cup of tea, but dont want to get up and put the kettle on....
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kinggary377
kinggary377: you should get a Butler and a bell to call him when you want your tea

i gotta go out but it is cold and foggy and i cannot be bothered
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Wild__
Wild__: Wear white clothes and a white mask, then try to scare people who get close without seeing you.

I'm up WAY too early, and I'm bored.
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jbananaz234
jbananaz234: Set up a telescope to start spying on everyone, see if you can create a neighborhood ruckus by perpetuating rumors. Start sending secret messages by flashing your mirror... that should stir things up.

Its damn cold again and i dont wanna go outside...
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ColonelKusanagi
ColonelKusanagi: kill everyone … i mean bundle up and set the world on fire

i tried to pop an old over grown pimple last night cause it was irking me and now i have a quartr sized ret ring on my face.
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jbananaz234
jbananaz234: Go black face today in honor of black heritage month... yeah i know a minth late but hey.....

I want to teleport to town but do not have the ability.
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ColonelKusanagi
ColonelKusanagi: take lots of drugs and hallucinate anywhere you want to be

i live in a black community and would rather not be shot
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Geoff
Geoff: See - you managed to kill the thread because people were careful to avoid being racist. And that is, I think the solution to your problem. That or a bulletproof vest.

I am concerned that there are too many stupid people in the world.
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Corwin
Corwin: Hmmm... Darwin had the right idea about how that problem could possibly fix itself... but it's taking too damn long, and the stupid people are still breeding... perhaps more expedient measures are in order.

What really irks me is that nobody has yet invented an anti-gravity flying car yet.
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Geoff
Geoff: They have invented such a car, but they keep it at Area 51 for Elvis' personal use.

I got in trouble for removing warning labels to try to help evolution along.
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