Between a rock and a hole (Page 2)

I was here: No, you didn't have to lie. Don't project you lying onto her. You could have been honest and told her the truth.

ManBrain: thanks for being honest : (

even if we have TONS of fun? none of that matters? and i care about u? w/e.... so pissed now...double standard is there.

ManBrain: obviously u didnt read what she says guys r supposed to be like. if i told her that i would not get her. i had to lie b/c i like her. and actually we like e/o. that is proof.

I was here: In my opinion, the best thing you could do is sit down and talk to her. Keep your statement "I" statements...don't blame her for your lying. You lied because of your own reasons...not because of what she wanted. If you knew you weren't what she wanted...you still should have told her that, been honest.

Woman value honesty above anything else, honest they do.

Being together for the first time with her...will be her first time with you too. No two men are alike and no two woman are alike. What one woman finds stimulating, another will not.

I was here: Basically, a man could be with 100 woman and tooted as being the best lover in the world...but if he didn't stimulate me, if he didn't excite me...would any of that crap matter?

Nope, it wouldn't matter in the least.

The best lover is the lover that stimulates your body, heart and mind. It doesn't take a non virgin to be all those things...now does it?

lobsterchop: LOL. The reason you're still fumbling with this problem is because you didnt take my advice. Instead, you went the girl route which will ironically cause you to lose your girl. Whimsical is proof of that. I think you stay in san deigo. There are escort services there that can at least get you started so you can fix the lie. Heh, maybe they can help you make the lie into truth.

It is quiet easy to overestimate it, just call. Heres a link to one in SD: http://san-diego-escorts.cityvibe.com/escorts/

The girls are clean. Actually they are whatever you want them to be, heh. They wont judge you and they know what they're doing. Although girls in here would like to put down girls that work as escorts, the escorts I have used/known are very understanding. Its not always sex that happens though, its a bit more to it. If I think of something i'll post it.

This is the best fix, trust me. Dont throw away what you have.

I was here: The best thing you could do is start being honest with her now.

lobsterchop: LMAO @ whimsical!! you cant really believe that a MALE virgin performs the same. THAT is a lie. Females can get by. Dont let the double standard discourage you though @ ManBrain

I was here: He doesn't have anything except a relationship that was based on lies. If you really want to try and save anything of your friendship with this girl, you will be honest with her.

Will she break up with you? I don't know. I would. But I wouldn't sever the friendship, I would take steps back and you would have to prove to me that our relationship could be started on a strong foundation of "truth".

ManBrain: believe me whim i want to tell her, cause i do feel weird holding it in. but i think i should wait. we havent been together for a whole month yet. tell me tho..."?" i think if i wait at least a month then its too much time to break up over 1 thing. agree??

I was here: Yes, I do believe a virgin male can perform as well as a non virgin.

The perfect male lover will want to stimulate a woman in the way that excites her and all woman are different. What one woman finds to be perfection will not even trip the trigger of the next woman.

The best way to be the best lover is to discover each other together, ask, learn and explore.

lobsterchop: Not if they have a good time together. You don't believe there is any value in a couple that can enjoy each other? Even though there was a white lie involved in this way? Isnt that a bit self righteous?

I was here: I don't believe there is any value in any relationship that is based on lies. He lied to her to get her to be his gf...he admitted that.

ManBrain: you keep saying that you would break up you would break up... im trying not to get you to break up with me tho, i just got started with her and she is my first and i dont want things to end w/o a fight

lobsterchop: So funny in here. 1 thing can end EVERYTHING anytime. Good luck waiting. While you wait try something productive that works. I know because i've tried it.

ManBrain: : /

not laughing....

I was here: If it was me, I would break up with you...but I wouldn't sever our friendship. I would step back and let you prove to me that you can have a relationship based on truth and honesty.

I was here: I do have something to ask though ManBrain...have you learned anything from this?

lobsterchop: Sorry @ man. Whim, we both know where the friendship zone leads to that you telling him about. You're speaking in girl code. What you are really saying is that you would phase him out entirely after he had the balls to admit to you what he did. Does that seem fair?

I was here: If that is what I meant, that is what I would have said. I didn't say that.

Personally, I think he has a good shot at saving the friendship "if" he keeps the blame of his lies onto himself. She didn't make him lie, he choose to lie because that is what he "thought" she wanted to hear.

ManBrain: this is my first gf, i dont wanna talk about learning as if its over alrdy. i wont lie to her ever, but i only lied to make her happy so we could be happy together. if i wasnt a virgin i wouldnt have anything to lie about... but im not so....

I was here: You are both virgins to each other. How you are with her, if you are with her, you will never be that exact same way with another woman.

lobsterchop: You'll learn quick Manbrain. It's more of a girls world than you first thought.

ManBrain: thanks for helping me with all your ideas+honesty tho. honestly i dont know which would take more balls. meeting an escort or telling her the truth. i want to impress her and i know escort can help with that but i dont want to mess things up more like hyena and whim said. i'm gonna try and tell the truth tonight when i see her... if i cant maybe something else... im so pissed... now when i see her i think of this kinda stuff and feel weird. distracting. even tho i did the lie, i wish she didnt make it so hard and giving me only 1 way to her. i'm only trying to make her/us happy but that doesnt matter tho? : \

if things go good i'll post, if bad i'll die...

I was here: You could always just show her this thread...she sounds like she need a little growing up too if she thinks only experienced lovers are what she wants.