One on one

Coffrey: Is anyone else absolutely disappointed with chatrooms? I don't like them, they aren't an effective means of...... anything. The most you get is arguments where battle lines are drawn and then it's just furious keyboard warriors where nothing gets accomplished.
I much rather one on one conversations, I guess that's why there's the private chat lobby. But then again, I feel that is mostly filled with douches with hard-ons and sluts with ridiculously revealing pictures, neither of which lead to any sort of worthwhile conversation. Oh and on a side note, actually randomly engaging someone in a private chat..... just seems wrong. It just feels like I'm being creepy in a sense (well obviously going to private chat with girls, the social dynamic demands such) and because I'm guessing every half decent attractive chick on this site has been perved on at least twice.

I guess my question is two fold. 1. Am I wrong in my assessment?
And 2. Does anyone actually feel the same way that I do? I mean in the sense of having actual conversation with the intent of some sort of friendship or bond or whatever you call. None of this cybersex, camming bullshit, but just friendly, engaging conversation.

Aura: I've been chatting since I was 14, so that is over half my life now. Started on mIRC, made my way trough countless platforms and 'communities'. (Hell when I joined wire all this was black and white with no possible way to chat privately or block annoying people) and you know what? Chat is so much like the human race in general. You can't help but see the enormous potential and can't help but be disappointed in what this potential is used for, yet somehow it is fascinating and you can't help but be happy, willing and from time to time even proud to be part of it.
Yes, most chats are a waste of time, and you should not hope for accomplishments. But there are those rare moments that it all seems to be worthwhile.

However, I've never seen the appeal of cybering. There's loads of free porn on the internet, both visual and written, that will do a much better job of exiting than any improvisation I (and the potential partner) would come up with.

And if all else fails, there's 'fifty shades of gray'

Coffrey: Christ, I've only been at this for 5 years, through a few communities and I'm almost ready to live in a cabin in the woods, so I have no idea how you get through it.

I guess another thing I want to get across is I can't be the only fish out of water here. I mean, I'm in a place where practically everyone is my opposite (I'm tech savvy and interested in knowing things, while living in an area of rednecks and where two cousins marrying isn't shocking), with little means of getting out Thus..... internet, save me

You know, I've heard a lot about it, but I'm not quite sure what it is even about and I'm also not sure I want to know........

Aura: Yeah I know. Don't get me wrong, there have been times I just gave up and didn't even look at my browser icon for months. And still after a while I go back. Always thinking "maybe it's me. There just can not be so many idiots/trolls/ignorant/fill in the blank, as I remember..."

When in a chatroom, when someone comes in and says "hi, i'm new" I usually respond with "RUN! Run now before you get hooked!"
That's only half a joke.

As for the fish out of water thing, sounds to me like you've been cursed with intelligence. The thing is, that feeling has very little to do with location. No matter where you are, you will always be part of the minority. There might be some people who 'get' you, most won't. Only thing you could do is join the nerd side (we have pi) but be warned, most nerds (including me) are annoying.

Coffrey: Ehhhhh, it probably is just me, having differing goals in interactions than everyone else. I think I might do nicely in a bigger city though, a much more varied group of individuals and social clubs and all that.

Haha, I wish someone said that to me 5 years ago

I wouldn't say cursed with intelligence as more as cursed with self-awareness. I'm probably no smarter than any other average person, but average people delude their minds, or allow them to be deluded, and thus they can live a normal existence of lies. I wonder if that's the trick, to not think so much about what everyone else seemingly takes for granted. Haha but I tried the nerd thing, it was my first... online community of sorts, but they were too... not nerdy, but obsessed with their nerdoms, the actors/actresses, writers, characters, and yeah, some were annoying but not all. And I think that particularly group of nerds is exclusionary because it was a fan site I was on, sort of begging to have sycophants there. At least nerds have imaginations and enthusiasm for things other than getting wasted and wondering who the fuck ever is going to pass on tonight's American Idol/X Factor/dancing with morons/etc.

Aura: 5 yrs ago? trek, wars or who? (lol, bit too early for potter or -shudder- twilight.)
Had to check your age real quick, ah, yes. See that what you say "I'm probably not smarter than the average person" it's a recurring theme I hear from smart people all over the world I'm not saying you are the new Einstein, I get that you don't think of yourself as particularly intelligent. But I've found that, once you accept that the rest of the population can't help it, the disappointment and potential bitterness will lessen. If this comes over as condescending, so be it. It is actually less condescending than thinking people are willingly going through life with deluded minds. You know the saying that if the whole world seems crazy it's probably just you that's the crazy one? Well, if the whole world seems stupid, it's probably just you that's smart.
(Or you are just 'enlightened' and in that case, go write a self help book, make tons of money and move to that big city. Just remember that if you have 6000 people walking over coals some feet will get burned.)

Coffrey: Hahaha, it wasn't even anything that good. It was a little show, internet only, about a group of people who play an MMO and then meet in real life...... the premise sounds a lot less funny than it actually was although it seems like it's blown up in popularity, so if you can guess it, that's +5 to nerdy cred.

I can't think that's actual intelligence vs. stupidity because if it were true, I think we would be way far behind technologically than we actually are. Plus we all live in the bubble that is our egos, so thinking that you're smarter or better than someone else or everyone else is irrelevant because I'm positive everyone else thinks it too. I guess you're right, I want to have high expectations in particular people that I find, right off the bat, interesting or just worthy in general, so maybe I should drop the expectations? Haha but that's a good point, the whole world DOES seem stupid to me.

Ha, there's a fine line between condescending people and them finding you motivating. But once I strike that balance, I see no moral reason not to steal suckers' money

Aura: My nerd powers have fail me

You make a good point about ego though. I know a shrink who told me that the truly realistic people are probably all depressed. But lowering expectations, I'm not sure it can be done. It would be a good thing if you could do it without being bitter about it, that's for sure. However I believe that most people think they are (relatively) normal and therefore naturally expect others will act and react much like they themselves would. To stop those expectations would mean to stop thinking of themselves as normal. Once you stop thinking of yourself as normal you basically have one foot in some mental issue.
Me personally I keep my expectations, but if they are not met, I try not to see it as failure on their or my part. I just tell myself that I'm not meeting their expectations either. Just one more rude reminder that everyone is indeed unique.

Coffrey: I... actually agree with everything you said. It's like you're my subconscious somehow

Aura: lol...shocking, two people agreeing on an internet forum? It's very bad form. We should really be at the name calling by now

By the way, do you MMO or did that just happen to be a plot point in the series you found?

Coffrey: Haha well I'm just used to everyone being wrong about at least one aspect of every topic, myself not excluded.... though I hope there are things that you think or know that I can totally rip into you about, hopefully

Nah, I'm a big gamer, but MMOs to represent the biggest problem with games today: accessibility. Instead of trying to be their own thing, everyone is just ripping off whatever sells and what sells nowadays is casual games (thanks Angry Birds and Wii). Suffice to say, it was just a plot point. Oooo, do we disagree on MMOs? That can balance out this horrible unbalanceness of "You're totally right, there's nothing I can rebut"

Aura: Ha, no. I'm not the type of gamer who has any use for MMO, I'm the builder/strategist. (rollercoaster tycoon, simcity, x-com, the sims, most old lucas arts adventures -specially monkey island) and whenever I do play RPG or shooters, I go for storyline over shooting as many ppl as I can. I really enjoyed Bioshock for instance. (not in the least because I play those on the easiest setting, my aim is suckish)
Last time I went online was with the first Command and Conquer.

Wii? Ugh. Consoles. No thx. But it's not fair to blame a platform. Remember 'deer hunter?' probably one of the worst games ever but also a best seller.

However we do disagree on Angry Birds I like those. I even bought my kids the t-shirts.

Coffrey: Aha! I found a point of disagreement.. though not that strongly. I've always been into consoles, probably because it's cheaper to buy a pre-made system that can play loads of games as is, than to be constantly upgrading just to play something slightly newer and shinier. But I am quite pissed that strategy games are nothing but a novelty on consoles (Civ:Rev for instance), so the only time I do go PC is to play strategy games

I would contend that story isn't everything, it depends on what you want out of the game, what kind of experience. Take the Elder Scrolls, story pretty much sucks, but the gameplay is phenomenal, as is the GTA series.
Also, you get a pass on casual games because, trust me, don't make kids into hardcore gamers, haha.

Aura: I used to play elder scrolls, but then I took an arrow to the knee....(yes lame and played out, sorry) Too hard for me, and whenever I cannot do something my game gets hijacked by the less reflex impaired in the household So I watched a lot of that getting played.

Money wise, we need a pc anyway, so for us just the videocard is extra. And open up my browser history, you will find the top two slots are 'pirate bay' and 'demonoid' So money? oh yes well, "legally" it would take a lot of money. Then again any hobby would.

Coffrey: Yeah, whenever a game is too hard, I tend to leave it to the less mentally capable because usually the game is horribly, horribly flawed

Haha well even with dubious means of obtaining software aside, I think it can still be pretty costly as the pc is more prone to viruses and malfunctions than consoles are. But then again, it's probably just jealousy from me because a lot of my favorite franchises, discontinued or ongoing, are pc-exclusives. Plus direct downloads so I don't have to actually interact with the.... round citizens of my county

xox G xox: I like the idea of chat rooms but theres so much to filter through that i last about 5mins at best.

Coffrey: Yeah. I wish there was some system where you can just talk to people without the creepers. But alas, it comes the problem again of things that I want that aren't in the majority.