Monkey Illuminati (Page 2)

Corwin
Corwin: Is there a Monkey Illuminati pamphlet we can subscribe to? I would like to stay current in the continuing monkey activity.
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Comrade_
Comrade_: If you look at the cloud of smoke that appeared in any 9-11 attack video, you will see a hazy figure of a monkey. If you put monkey ears on the US president, dating back to the first US president to Obama, you'll see the all have a monkey-resemblance.
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OCD_OCD
OCD_OCD: Absolutely. I will send you my paypal account telepathically.
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OCD_OCD
OCD_OCD: But you must take off your glasses, Corvin.
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Corwin
Corwin: .... and my tin-foil hat....

*puts leather hat back on*
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OCD_OCD
OCD_OCD: And then there is the monkey conspiracy.

The Great Monkey Conspiracy is the recent attempts by monkeys to take over the world and enslave the human race.

Propaganda

The Monkeys have been spreading a pseudo-scientific myth, called "Evolution," that the Human race descended from monkeys. They also participate in programs, such as those held at the London Zoo, that further their cause in people's minds.

Economics

The Monkeys are quietly taking over the various industries of Earth. For example, one by one all of the automotive companies like Suburban are falling to the Monkey Menace.

More Propaganda

They have also appeared in numerous pornographic films and video games. Donkey Kong, Planet of the Apes and the Wizard of Oz are excellent examples of how the Monkeys have infiltrated both Hollywood and Japan. Many hoped that the Matt Le Blanc vehicle Ed would have similar success however people had trouble picking out which one was the monkey.
"Oh-eee-oh, weee-oh." screamed Ashley Furbush. OH YEAHHHHHHH son.
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OCD_OCD
OCD_OCD: Erm....hold the phone.

Should I start another thread about the Monkey Conspiracy?

Too much info for one thread?
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OCD_OCD
OCD_OCD: Space Development

Monkeys were among the first creatures sent into space, and some rumours have surfaced that some monkey leaders have launched a space station - but the existence of any and all Monkey space development is highly disputed. It is well known that Ashley Furbush developed whips and chains for use as tools of human sex enslavement. ;]


Artist's rendition of future life under the Monkey Overlords.

The Monkeytrix

Some conspiracy theorists believe that actually the life we know is actually a sort of zoo kept by the Monkeys, called the Monkeytrix. All persons wishing to escape the Monkeytrix are said to have to choose between a Red Banana and a Blue Banana.
edit Weaknesses

The Monkey Conspiracy is not invincible, however. There are ways to stop it, one of which may be to stop cultivating the banana trees. Another is to trounce all known monkeys and all persons resembling monkeys repeatedly. You are also able to kill monkeys by either splashing monkey blood or monkey semen on their fur to make the monkey implode, then explode, then implode once more.

Resistance Movements

Anti-Monkey resistance movements have sprung up. They are known for their unique system of identification. Whenever one Resistance member meets another, he or she shouts, "You're a monkey!" Unless the other immediately responds with a high-pitched screech of "Not a monkey!!!" they know that the other has been compromised and cannot be trusted. These groups are very seclusive however, and it's difficult to find the truth about one.
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OCD_OCD
OCD_OCD: You're a monkey!!!!!!!!!
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OCD_OCD
OCD_OCD: Ron Perlman

According to researchers and members of the intelligence community many monkeys have developed an unnatural affinity for Ron Perlman. Researchers from the United States, Great Britain and Azerbaijan have conducted independent experiments in which monkeys are provided a choice between pushing a button that stimulates the pleasure center of their brains, or pushing a button that shows clips of Ron Perlman. In each experiment, researchers reported that almost without fail monkeys continued to push the Ron Perlman button repeatedly, often until they began to starve to death. Similar experiments with actors and images other than Ron Perlman failed to achieve the same results.

Some experts on the phenomena suspect it has something to do with the strong resemblance between Ron Perlman and a monkey. A minority of experts have become convinced that Ron Perlman is the monkey messiah. Rumors that monkeys in southeast Asia have begun work on a 350 foot tall monument of Ron Perlman have not yet been confirmed.

It is all FACT.

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Monkey_Conspiracy
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Corwin
Corwin: I heard that the Sasquatch Underground is increasing in power, and will over-thow the Monkey Illuminati by the year-of-our-Sasquatch - 2124 (that's 2024 AD... the Sasquatch messiah was put to death 100 prior to Jesus... not on a cross though, they just shaved him and made him sleep out of doors without a blankie.
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OCD_OCD
OCD_OCD: The monkeys laugh in the general direction of your Wookies.

Your stench precedes you!
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harlett anathema
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harlett anathema
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OCD_OCD
OCD_OCD: Exactly. Now you know why we were the first in space. Because we are actually aliens come to teach you silly humans things. While the cabal of evil strapped us into metal coffins, it is WE who triumphed. This information has been kept secret for years and is only recently coming to light through the sacrifices (and I mean people are DYING HERE), of those who would bring you the TRUTH!
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OCD_OCD
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OCD_OCD
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OCD_OCD
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OCD_OCD
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OCD_OCD
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harlett anathema
harlett anathema: don't You get the chills......watching that chimp......cold and creepy chills...
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OCD_OCD
OCD_OCD: I had to watch all of it. LOL
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Stewart75
Stewart75: What is this fascination you have with monkeys, OCD...?..............

............ many common traits perhaps................... looks, personality.............. excessively hairy armpits................

........... just asking.............
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calybonos
calybonos: ^^ *steps over failed troll attempt* ^^



Here we come,
Swingin through the trees.
We're gonna get our revenge by
Throwin our feces.
Hey, hey, we're the Monkees
And people say we monkey around.
But we're too busy scheming
To bring all of mankind down.
..........................
(Edited by calybonos)
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OCD_OCD
OCD_OCD: I am the leader of the simian branch. RAAAAAAAAAAAA!
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