Oh, the stupid... Serabi: Coffin seller questioned about remains 2013-06-23 18:31 Iowa - An Iowa man's online classified ad offering an oak coffin for sale neglected to mention the full skeleton inside, so police interrupted the deal and seized the bones. The Council Bluffs Daily Nonpareil reported that the coffin belonged to the now-defunct Council Bluffs chapter of the International Order of Odd Fellows, which promotes anonymous giving to the poor. Dave Burgstrum placed the ad on the Craigslist website to sell the coffin for $12 000 because he's trying to raise money to pay the property taxes on the fraternal organisation's hall. Burgstrum said the coffin was made in the 1900s and had been used in the group's rituals to represent death. The bones had been in there for years. "They were just there as long as anyone could remember," said Burgstrum, who is one of a handful of remaining members of the Council Bluffs chapter of the Odd Fellows. Burgstrum said lodge records suggest the skeleton was donated by a doctor who retired in the 1880s. But Council Bluffs Police detective Michael Roberts said human remains can't be sold with proper identification. "If they had papers of origination, then they would be OK to own," Roberts said. The skeleton was sent to the Iowa State Medical Examiner. Pottawattamie County forensic investigator Karen Foreman said it's unlikely the skeleton will be identified, but the race and gender can be determined. And if the skeleton is Native American, federal law requires that it be returned to the tribe. Burgstrum said the laboratory is welcome to keep the skeleton. His interest has always been in selling the coffin. "I'm ready to wheel and deal on it," he said. "I'd like to get those taxes paid." - AP (Edited by Serabi) Serabi: Bieber's new monkey delays flight 2013-06-24 12:54 Los Angeles - Justin Bieber allegedly forced a private jet to wait for eight hours for his new pet monkey. The 19-year-old singer, who has been criticised for his bad behaviour in recent months, annoyed an aviation company by delaying his flight from Miami, Florida, to Burbank, California, to search for his pet on Friday. A source told gossip website TMZ.com that the Beauty And A Beat hitmaker was scheduled to take off at 11:00. and called to say he was running late. He eventually showed up at the private airport lounge at 15:00 but told staff he still wasn't ready to leave because he needed to collect his pet from West Palm Beach. The Canadian star chartered a private helicopter to retrieve the pet as quickly as possible but was eventually told that the pilot would not be able to wait much longer because he was about to run out of duty time. The plane eventually took off with the singer shortly after 17:00 but it is not yet known if Justin's monkey was on board. Justin's last pet monkey recently became the property of Germany. The singer's beloved pet, Mally, was seized by authorities in March when the singer failed to provide proper vaccination and import documents when he arrived in Munich to perform a concert as part of his Believe Tour. German authorities filed legal documents in May to transfer ownership of the capuchin monkey after Justin failed to meet a deadline set to provide the required documents and Mally is now living in a zoo there. - BangShowBiz  Corwin: Once again... on behalf of Canada... we apologize for Justin Bieber. We have recently isolated the "Bieber Gene", and are attempting to eliminate it from the gene-pool. But as he is often found flitting about across international borders, the Canadian Government is issuing a plea to all the nations of the world --- Please DO NOT breed with it.  Geoff: I am reminded of that stupendous line from the South Park movie. "Now, now. The Canadian government has apologised for Bryan Adams on several occasions." Serabi: Duh... He's in a coma Einstein!!! Mandela 'asleep' when Zuma visited 2013-06-24 11:23 Johannesburg - Nelson Mandela's condition in a Pretoria hospital remained critical for a second straight day on Monday, as President Jacob Zuma said the former president was "asleep" when he visited him late on Sunday night. "Madiba is critical in the hospital, and this is the father of democracy. This is the man who fought and sacrificed his life to stay in prison, the longest-serving prisoner in South Africa. He is one of those who has contributed to democracy," Zuma said. "All of us in the country should accept the fact that Madiba is now old. As he ages, his health will ... trouble him and I think what we need to do as a country is to pray for him." Zuma, who in the past has given an overly sunny view of Mandela's health, briefly described his visit to the hospital and seeing Mandela. "It was late, he was already asleep," Zuma said. "And we then had a bit of a discussion with the doctors as well as his wife, Graca Machel, and we left." Mandela was hospitalised on 8 June for what the government said was a recurring lung infection. This is his fourth hospitalisation since December. - AP PS: Your'e the Asshole president in a country with broken down military Ambulances , no provincial ambulances, fire trucks and hardly any functional police cars or decent roads to drive on:- Johannesburg – The 40 minutes that an extremely ill Nelson Mandela spent in the icy cold while stranded on a Gauteng highway in a broken ambulance could have caused his death, said a respected cardiologist on Saturday. Rapport said the military ambulance taking the former president to hospital broke down two weeks ago between Pretoria and Johannesburg. American news service CBS on Saturday reported that Madiba’s heart had stopped. Three independent sources confirmed on Saturday night that Mandela had to be resuscitated. When the ambulance broke down, it was 6 °C outside and Mandela’s wife, Graça Machel, who was apparently also stranded in the ambulance for 45 minutes was said to be “crazy” with worry. Although presidential spokesperson Mac Maharaj said doctors were satisfied that Mandela had suffered no harm, many doctors have differed in their opinion. (Edited by Serabi) Serabi: JOHANNESBURG (AP) - November 14, 2012 (WPVI) -- Police in South Africa say they've arrested a 25-year-old man who swallowed 220 polished diamonds in an attempt to smuggle them out of the country. Capt. Paul Ramaloko of the South African Police Service said investigators arrested the man Tuesday night as he waited in line at security at O.R. Tambo International Airport just outside of Johannesburg. Ramaloko said a scan of the man's body showed the diamonds, which later were recovered. He said the man had been on his way to Dubai. Ramaloko said the diamonds are worth about $2.3 million. Authorities believe the man belongs to a smuggling ring, as another man was arrested in March attempting the same thing. South Africa is one of the world's top diamond producers. Serabi: God must love the stupid, he made so many of them! Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills. A man in Johannesberg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old friend in the face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting beer cans off each other's head. A company trying to continue its five-year perfect safety record showed its workers a film aimed at encouraging the use of safety goggles on the job. According to Industrial Machinery News, the film's depiction of gory industrial accidents was so graphic that twenty-five workers suffered minor injuries in their rush to leave the screening room. Thirteen others fainted, and one man required seven stitches after he cut his head falling off a chair while watching the film. The Chico, California, City Council enacted a ban on nuclear weapons, setting a $500 fine for anyone detonating one within city limits. A bus carrying five passengers was hit by a car in St. Louis, but by the time police arrived on the scene, fourteen pedestrians had boarded the bus and had begun to complain of whiplash injuries and back pain. Swedish business consultant Ulf af Trolle labored 13 years on a book about Swedish economic solutions. He took the 250-page manuscript to be copied, only to have it reduced to 50,000 strips of paper in seconds when a worker confused the copier with the shredder. A convict broke out of jail in Washington D.C., then a few days later accompanied his girlfriend to her trial for robbery. At lunch, he went out for a sandwich. She needed to see him, and thus had him paged. Police officers recognized his name and arrested him as he returned to the courthouse in a car he had stolen over the lunch hour. Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed. When two service station attendants in Ionia, Michigan, refused to hand over the cash to an intoxicated robber, the man threatened to call the police. They still refused, so the robber called the police and was arrested. A Los Angeles man who later said he was "tired of walking," stole a steamroller and led police on a 5 mph chase until an officer stepped aboard and brought the vehicle to a stop.  Eagster: No offense to the great nation of SA, but are all south african ambulances that bad? WTH went wrong Shrugs*
 OCD_OCD: There are apparently a lot of things that aren't right in SA these days, sadly. The ambulance Nelson Mandela was in broke down and they were stranded until another ambulance could come and pick him up. I'm surprised it didn't kill him or drive into a bus-sized pothole. Serabi: Oh, don't even get me started. Hubby and I went to Helen Joseph hospital today to take a 16 year old with 2 broken femurs (5 days old) home in our PT Cruiser (The dad drives an Uno). "It is not hospital policy to take anybody home in an ambulance". This kid was GREY with pain. After my usual fighting with slack nurses who refused to give him his pain medication, 2 days post-op, and being accused of being a racist (The kid is black), we took him home and got him settled. Truth be told, don't wait for a government ambulance, people wait up to 2 days. Very often victims of car accidents, assaults and medical emergencies are taken to hospital by car. Then you wait for hours because our provincial hospitals are cess pools. You have no idea what SA has become. Vote for the brain dead and this is what you get. (Edited by Serabi) Serabi: The national health budget covers all Provincial health care and ambulances. In short government ambulances. If that doesn't answer your question then I don't understand the 'universal coverage' bit. Serabi: Oh...Kay... (And the workers in the Twin Towers were guilty of...?) SA group fails in Obama arrest application 2013-06-26 17:51 Johannesburg - Two South African groups were trying to obtain arrest warrants on Wednesday for US President Barack Obama, who will visit the country later this week. Mohamed Hussain Vawda, of the Society for the Protection of our Constitution, said he had brought charges against Obama of war crimes and crimes against humanity. Meanwhile, the Muslim Lawyers' Association (MLA) made an urgent application to the North Gauteng High Court in Pretoria on Wednesday for Obama's arrest, but the application was dismissed. Vawda said his organisation had taken a different route to that of the MLA. "There are so many groups of people opposing this visit... and the conduct of Mr Obama," he said. In an affidavit stamped by the Barberton police, Vawda claimed Obama was directly and indirectly responsible for killing and injuring more than 3 000 people, including women and 176 children, in countries which "have been no threat to the US", such as Pakistan and Syria. He accused Obama of ordering or sanctioning the use of unmanned aerial drones to kill people the US government considered a threat to the country's safety. Vawda said the victims were killed on the basis of "mere accusations levelled against them". "There is no judicial oversight to determine if these persons are indeed guilty of any alleged crimes. They are deprived of a hearing. There is no accountability at all, just simple brazen murder." Vawda claimed the targets were mainly followers of the Islamic faith, and said this amounted to genocide. "The urgency of this matter must be dealt with seriously," he said. He said he had not yet received a response from the National Prosecuting Authority (NPA). The NPA could not be reached for comment. Eyewitness News reported that, in dismissing the Muslim Lawyers' Association's (MLA) application, the North Gauteng High Court found that the case was not urgent, but did not rule on the merits of the case. Obama arrives in South Africa on Friday as part of a three-state Africa tour. "We’re very disappointed in the decision and be that as it may, we remain hopeful that on review, we’ll be successful," MLA spokesperson Yousha Tayob told the broadcaster. - SAPA Serabi: Shocking errors in English exam paper 2013-05-09 08:45 Johannesburg - The education department in Mpumalanga has issued a warning to an official who drafted a Grade 7 exam paper littered with grammar and spelling mistakes. The paper was for an English Home Language exam for pupils in Nkangala, reported The Star. Instructions on the paper included: “Instruction to learners Read all the intructions carefully. Answere on the answer sheet provide. Write neatly. [sic]” It included a comprehension test based on a story that was printed as follows: “One day I returned at the camp to find Isaiah sitting at some distance crying. ‘The bees, she got the jam.’ He had been stung in many places. While he was up at the Windmill doing some laundry and swimming, a bee has discovered some open tin of fig jam in the tent. She had made a beeline for her hive, and returned several co-workers. On the principle of finders keepers, they believed that the fig was theirs, and made these quite clear to Isaiah. As I has been guilty of leaving the jam leaving the jam in the tent, I felt in duty bound to get that tin of jam out way before others returned returned. [sic]” Mpumalanga education spokesperson Jasper Zwane said the department was aware of the issue and it had been dealt with. He said the official who had set the paper had been removed from the task and had been given a warning. He said a team had been put together to ensure this did not happen again. - News24 Oh Kay... Stop the earth I want to get off, NOW!! Serabi: 4 000-year-old pyramid destroyed 2013-07-03 21:10 Lima - An official of Peru's cultural patrimony ministry says two real estate development companies have destroyed a pyramid at the oldest archaeological site near the country's capital. Deputy Minister Rafael Varon says the companies used heavy equipment to tear down a 6m-tall pyramid at the ruins of El Paraiso, a few kilometres north of Lima. He said on Wednesday his agency has lodged criminal complaints against the two companies for the weekend's damage. Peru's tourism ministry says El Paraiso was built about 4 000 years ago, long before the rise of the Inca culture. - AP Serabi: And celeb stupidity... "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff." - Mariah Carey "I don't diet. I just don't eat as much as I'd like to." - Linda Evangelista "I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don’t like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa." — Britney Spears "I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don't know into what religion yet." – David Beckham. "Twenty-three is old. It's almost 25, which is like almost mid-20s." — Jessica Simpson. “It’s really hard to maintain a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people.” — Axl Rose. "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life." – Brooke Shields. “If there is one word to describe Atlantic City, it’s Big Business.” — Donald Trump. "So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?" — Christina Aguilera. Serabi: JOHANNESBURG – Officials have recovered tik (crystal methamphetamine) worth almost R43 million at Johannesburg’s OR Tambo International Airport, the South African Revenue Service (SARS) said on Friday. This is the single largest bust made at a port of entry in South Africa, officials confirmed. Two women, whose nationalities are yet to be confirmed, were caught trying to smuggle 150 kilograms of drugs from Tanzania to South Africa, SARS spokesperson Marika Muller said. The drugs were found in six bags. The suspects are in police custody. EWN | Off Topic Chat Room Similar Conversations |
