to spank or not to spank? (Page 17) Johandej: Dsciplining is not always spanking. You can also withhold something they want: wifi, netflix, desert, etc. It is very important that they learn what boundaries are and with disciplinign you teach them boundaries. Pro's of spanking: - they really feel they went over a boundary - You can let go of some steam: no need to built stress Negs: - some people may frown upon it, depending on your culture - bruises that may cause problems with some authoroties: when you are in selfcontrol, you can spank without marks In my opinion: use disciplinging a mix of verbal disciplining, withholding and spanking and use that in a gradient. Angry Beaver: Just be an alpha male, no spanking or bullshit witholding required, my kids respected me because they knew to not piss me off lol Angry Beaver: Also equipped with alphaness... respect my authoritie! kids Why should you do what I say, so much more life experience, just as my father b4 me, this is how we learn lol  AretoNyx: Science and majority say spanking us a no. Been spanked and even had in school when they use to. Spanking is traditional and not useful at most.  murrayduan: I did not spank my child and looking back I think I made a mistake. I am old enough to remember when times were different and spanking was accepted and expected at home and in schools. I believe it can be taken to extreme and that was the case in my home. My father beat me with hand, slap not punch, Razor strap, few know what that was, and belts. It was several times a week and when I did wrong my mother would wait until Dad got home and give him the report which would result in punishment. I also majored in Sociology and Phycology so aware of the different ideas regarding punishment. I do know when growing up I was more scared of my Dad then the police. If friends suggested we do something we shouldn't I would say, No way my "Dad will kill me." The police was not the first thing I thought of should I be caught. Looking back at the type of activities young people did or thought of doing compared to today is nothing. Yes times have changed and but the level of disrespect I see and have witnessed among young people and from my own child over the years, shocks me. I have owned businesses over the years that employed young kids still in school and just out of school. The level of respect towards elders and others is not there anymore? I was one of the "timeout" verbal warnings, spare the rod, parents and I do believe I made a mistake being to forgiving when real mistakes were made by my kid. Did it make a difference in how I viewed my Dad, Yes it did we were never really close because of how I feel he over reacted to my antics as a child, but I have never been into trouble or acted in the ways kids do today including my own kid. I conclude spanking is a forgotten tool that cold serve a purpose. (Edited by murrayduan) VladTheImpala: Do you want them to inflict pain when they grow up and need to use their power? If so spank. If you think things should be explained - keep working that route. Whacking them might get results - but what are you after, kids that can discuss and disagree or kids that are fearful and resentful of the user of a physical power imbalance. tigermp125: I WAS BEAT AS A KID, DONT KNOW WHAT SPANKING IS, IT MADE MY LIFE BAD,,,WISH ALL U WELL,,,,  zeffur: 8 Alternatives to Spanking: https://www.verywellfamily.com/alternatives-to-spanking-1094834 If none of those work on your kids, send them back where they came from. lol jk (Post deleted by staff ) (Post deleted by tigermp125 ) (Post deleted by staff ) AretoNyx: Evidence science over cultural stereotypes...spanking really as a majority will not change minds as punching people in the face will not whatever behavior. Shrug murrayduan: AretoNyx: Evidence science over cultural stereotypes...spanking really as a majority will not change minds" I believe it is more effective at changing behavior or minds as you say, in a child vs punching an adult. Even adult behavior can be changed if that behavior is socially wrong to begin with. Might not change their beliefs but can change their actions. If for example the behavior is to verbally insult people for your own beliefs and are punched in the face, I think that behavior will change. (Edited by murrayduan) zeffur: re: "murrayduan: ...I believe it is more effective at changing behavior or minds as you say, in a child vs punching an adult. Even adult behavior can be changed if that behavior is socially wrong to begin with. Might not change their beliefs but can change their actions. If for example the behavior is to verbally insult people for your own beliefs and are punched in the face, I think that behavior will change." Translation: the way to properly improve murrayduan is to punch him & tell him he is socially wrong & then verbally insult him. Noted!  | Parenting Chat Room 29 People Chatting Similar Conversations |
