adoption

ikela: I was adopted as a child, i would like to know your views and experiences.

PTBO52: I haven't had a personal experience with it but my best friend has...when she was 16 she had a baby girl and gave her up for adoption. It always bothered her so when she became computer literate, she tracked down her daughter. She found out she had 4 grand children and her daughter lived in the same city. At first everything went well, then about a year later things went sour. It was very sad and now there is no contact at all.

SLEEPLESSANGEL: I am not adopted nor do I know anyone who was.
The question is did they treat you good?
Not because one grew up with their biological parents means that they had it better.

kdhsalb: Hay, I am a birth mother of a son I had to give up for adoption. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. But it was the right thing. His going to be 17soon and has had both parents. I really hope he knows that I did love him and miss him very much but it was the best thing for him.

virginkiss: Well, I'm adopted.
And, legally, I'm not suppppose to know any of this:
My biological mom was 17, and was in fooster care herself because her parents beat her. In court, she stated she did not know who my father was. She tried to care for me for a week- but in the end she gave me up.
I was with the family I am with now from the time I was one (or younger). They were my foster parents- minus one year. You see, I am black, and my family is white. So, the racist agent put me with a black family to stop any interracial adoption. This turned out to be bad:
Before I was 3 years old, I'd had my ears peirced by them (which wouldn't have been so bad if i hadn't returned to my present-day mother with infected ears that had went untreated); my arm broke; my collarbone broke; before I went there- apparently I'd laugh all the time, now I only cired; When i came back, I'd put my thumb up to my mouth, then quickly pull it away; I went there a fat and happy baby, came back skin and bones, and crying all the time...
It took the agency a year to pull me out of there, and this time my now-mom told them that they wouldn't take me back unless they could keep me.
You might think this as a happy ending...
Well, since my biological mom opted for a closed adoption, my real birth-name had to be changed, and even my birth certificate is not my original-
but, i shall continue my story later. I have to go now. take care fellow adopted brothers and sisters of mine!
-VK

virginkiss: Okay, back to finish my story...
So, on my falsified borth certificate is my now-parents names. I cannot gain access to the original unless it's a life or death situation- this includes my medical history, everything.
Now, growing up adopted presented problems. For instance, my "lovely" father, Ted, telling me my mom couldn't love me the same way because I was not actually her child. And, again, my neighbors and everyone telling me that they're "glad I'm not actually a Davis"- from constant rumors and gossip, to the social security being called by my neighbors (though they never came), and the whole transracial thing- that just gets funny looks from people...
Anyways, that, in a nutshell (more or less), is my adoption story.

-VK

raylongoria: I am male and the chance of becoming a father was taken away from me.back in 1979.this girl i was with at the time.had a child.we had broken up.and i left town.many many yrs later she called me and told me that she did have a child and that it was mine,how ever she gave him up.how i am trying to find him and i cant.because it was a closed adoption.sure i well die before i find him.some women can be _______ .

cinebar140: did these post go from 2 years ago to two hours ago. I hope U find your child..My ex adopted a child . I father 3 great children , but adopting is the only way. Earth is too crowd.

Hyenablood: I was adopted and looking back over all of it, I had to say everything turned out very well for me.
My bio mom, grandmother and great grandmother all were alcholics. They tried to look after me but could not because of their drinking. I was 22 months when I was put in foster care. The place they put me in had about 7 or 8 other kids all of diffrent ages and needs. It only had two people in charge of all these kids plus me, so I don't think I was getting the attention and guidance I needed as a growing baby.
My adopted parents met me when I was 2 and a half, they say I crawled into the room, up onto their laps and into their hearts. When the other kids began to crowd around my parents I turned into a vicious little animal and started attacking them ! pulling hair and pushing them away, damn it, these people are here for me ! I'm getting out of this hellhole !!
So they adopted me and I grew up half an hour outside winnipeg in the country. The house and yard were perfect, loads of room to run around and everything and anything I could want.
Growing up me and my parents did fight a bit here and there, but mostly I was a good kid and never got into any trouble or wanted to be bad.
Really I was a perfect kid, I never really caused my parents any grief or worry, I didn't hang out with any bad kids. Never drank, smoked or do any drugs, always was home at a reasonable time untless the movie I was seeing was a late one. My parents knew where I was when I was out and about in the city and I got jobs and work experience.
So overall it was a good thing, I never tried to seek out my bio family, I know they all live up north on a native reserve that you have to fly into. Maybe someday I will, but for now I am content with my life and have no regrets.

tkathyjdl: I adopted both my girls, thank god for adoption and human errors.

pinkphenomenon: I was given up at birth. It was the best thing that ever happened to me. I have a very loving and supportive family who continued to foster and adopt those in their care.
The devastating thing about closed adoptions is that the parent can still look for their child but the child has nothing, no link, no connection until they make the first move.
I discovered I was studying a few hundred metres away from my biological family home years after I completed my studies.
I can't tell you the mixed feelings I have about that. Because I'm a lucky one, a very lucky one, I started off in the world in a bad way and ended up with a family I thank the stars for everyday. But there's always curiosity and sometimes curiosity kills the cat... I feel now that what's one persons loss is other peoples gains...
I'm currently pregnant and I get emotional thinking that I could never give up this little one but then I get strength in knowing that a) it couldn't have been an easy choice to make and b) maybe her circumstances were a lot different than mine.
What I do know is, there's a love in the void because if she was selfish she wouldn't have let me go. X

kittyfriendly: I do not have children as yet. I may decide to have in the near future. Personally, I would love to adopt children. Whether u adopt or give birth to them, they are yours. What children need is lots of love.