Parenting advice from the pros Geoff: If your child is listening incessantly to a piece of music that you find unbearable, you can make them stop by telling them that they were conceived to that particular track. If that doesn't work, elaborate. In detail. Geoff: If your child is afraid of a 'monster under the bed', let them sleep with a hefty, swingable item: Ccricket bat (or baseball bat if you are from outside the civilised world), crowbar, claw hammer (unless the child is quite old, a lump hammer is unsuitably heavy). Then you hide a blow up doll made up in hallow'een fancy dress under the child's bed attached, via a length of string draped over the curtain pole, to the door handle. You say goodnight, close the door, the doll is pulled out from under the bed, the child (if they have been conditioned correctly) will leap out of the bed and attack it. No more fears of the thing under the bed. Although they may become overly attached to the swingable object you gave them. Geoff: If your child keeps telling horrendously bad jokes. Simply respond by laughing incredibly hard at them and then say, "I laughed so hard a little bit of wee came out." They will >>NEVER<< do it again. //Edit - But they may become a humourless bastard and end up working as an accountant.  knk4: this reminds me of Metallica video,where the child is scared of the under bed terrifying could be something! knk4: me,I'm not scared about beeing something under the bed,but beeing something on the closep ,when I search for clothes,cause this worried had my cousin when watching a film and I had the same as watching a documentary crime.ew!Christ! ☀▃▂▁/V\iragε▁▂▃☀: could've used that music advice awhile back when my kid would jam the wiggles! painful I tell ya jus downright painful now he's into cooler music like tracy chapman..the boss..beastie boys and some jack white   ƬЄЄƇЄღ: OMG.. the Wiggles! Just conjured up memories of the routine daily nightmares of having to listen to them.. UGH!  Geoff: If your child is pleading and pestering to be allowed to watch a movie/TV programme or play a computer games that is completely unsuitable for their age, consider it. It may be that dealing with the nightmares is less work in the long run than constantly telling them "no" and then them watching/playing it at a friends house anyway. (Post deleted by staff ) Geoff: If your child is acting irresponsibly online, feel obliged to post their baby pictures where all their friends will see. Be aware of unwanted attention from the creepier members of the online community. You may wish to invest in martial arts lessons for your child.  motherfingsuperwoman: Only catch for me is the music she likes came out too recent. She'd do the math and know I was a liar. Geoff: Experimentation in drink and drugs is fairly normal for teenagers. This should be approached with an open attitude rather than anger and punishment. Letting your child join in with a few beers or glasses of wine during family social events during their mid teens can ensure healthy and responsible alcohol consumption in later years. Introducing your children to your dealer should be frowned upon, unless your dealer is close a family member. Selling your children for crack is possibly a good idea, so long as you sell them to someone who doesn't, like you, smoke crack. (Post deleted by staff ) | Parenting Chat Room 37 People Chatting Similar Conversations |
