Can you fall in love even after being happily married for a long period of time...

CocoMira
CocoMira: If we do fall in love even when you have a perfect family to go back home to , whose fault is it? Who decides what is right and what is wrong? Will that feeling be called as "LOVE" or just mere emotional turbulence in our usual routine life? The out come is very obvious but still we want to do it... Should we place ourselves ahead of our family ? the question is , is it worth it??
(Edited by CocoMira)
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Monty
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deer403
deer403: These are all impressions of mind carried forward in life, one has to balance and move forward, the decision should be own. Family should be top priority rest all secondary....
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Chakie Jan
Chakie Jan: One falls in love with another person only if there has been that something missing in the marriage , but then, I also wonder if loving two persons at the same time is possible ?? But it may also be construed as being "unfaithful" as the perfect family back home does not know about this. The outcome is obvious as you say , its not worth it and its best to bring back the ZING with the perfect family. All good Wishes for 2014. !
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CocoMira
CocoMira: define "prefect family"....... and if i have this one single life to live then is it wrong to think about our self before others? why do we get labeled as selfish!! especially a lady...... i am sure you all must have judged about my character or my image based on this topic i posted that's typical male!
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Iowagent58
Iowagent58: The aspect of right or wrong need not be so much a question of cultural morality as in the potential harm and pain you might cause. Put on your spouse's shoes. If he fell in love with someone else and acted on it how would you feel? If you have both adopted a polyamorous lifestyle then perhaps you'd accept it. Otherwise, you'd likely be devastated, as would he.

Not judging, Coco, just giving you a perspective.
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CocoMira
CocoMira: @deer.... Completely agree with you. I would be devastated and would feel like a loser.

The shortage of something in you own life makes, other not so important things more attractive for you. But the demand is not always correct. This attraction is fatal. Emotionally weakens you.
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Iowagent58
Iowagent58: Very true, Coco. The good news; if both partners are willing to make the effort, attraction, excitement and spice can be rediscovered, no matter what the circumstances, young children, money issues, even health issues. Intimacy is vital to the success of a marriage or long-term relationship. But it takes to tangle. Which is why, although I would never condone an affair, I'm not beyond understanding why some people have them.
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CocoMira
CocoMira: The excitement of the feeling of being "still" wanted and the Adrenalin rush when is risky situations is to be blamed for the growth of such affairs.
I agree that it takes two to tango! Well i have worn my tango shoes once again... awaiting for my spouse to do the same
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Iowagent58
Iowagent58: I hope he does, Coco. You are a lovely and sensible person. best of luck!
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CocoMira
CocoMira: Thank you so much deer!
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Chakie Jan
Chakie Jan: Well said Cocomira . Looking forward to seeing you online
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beadfairy1000
beadfairy1000: I don't blame any-one for developing feelings for some-one else. I love my husband and my boyfriend for different reasons.
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Iowagent58
Iowagent58: You will get no judgement from me, beadfairy. If the arrangement works and no one gets hurt, more power to you.
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beadfairy1000
beadfairy1000: Thank you deer. We have been in this relationship for nearly 5 years now. I did break it off with my bf when he got married, but after discussing it we are again seeing each other.
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Iowagent58
Iowagent58: it can be hard to stop. but can be dangerous not to. be careful, I am sure neither of you wish to hurt your spouses

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beadfairy1000
beadfairy1000: My husband knows and understand, but I'm worried about my bf's wife. We have become friends over the last two years. But she does know that we are very good friends and love spending time together.
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Iowagent58
Iowagent58: I am surprised that your husband is understanding. I'm not sure I would be, although I really don't know. Your boyfriend's wife may know, or at least suspect. It could get complicated
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beadfairy1000
beadfairy1000: She knows that we have been "friends" for a very long time. There is not sex involved with our relationship so that makes it a little easier.
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kittyfriendly22
kittyfriendly22: I rather be single with no children= less headache and stress
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sandsbeyond
sandsbeyond: I believe it is possible to be married and fall in love with someone else. You can not control feelings.
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CocoMira
CocoMira: @ sands.................. but is it justified? " No control on feelings "... is it a valid reason?
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sandsbeyond
sandsbeyond: what is love? you can't hold it, you can't put it in a shelf and admire it, Its a feeling one gets.
Maybe it isn't justified, or a valid reason. You can only hold the feeling inside your heart and act upon that feeling. Its not impossible to hide, but very difficult.
Yes I do believe you can be in love with another and be married.
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beadfairy1000
beadfairy1000: You can not control your feelings, but it is how you act on them that makes the difference.
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sandsbeyond
sandsbeyond: sometimes you can't help the act, your feelings over power your thoughts
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beadfairy1000
beadfairy1000: I know the feeling. I love my husband very much, but when I see that one person, my heart bounces out of my heart.
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