Happily Married ??? flamingred: I'd like to know why so many men state they are happily married but many of these so called happily married men are hitting on women here left , right and centre. Are u happily married because u sextext ? if so I guess then u were never happily married ...  thinplaces3: I believe that even in a happy marriage, both male and female, like to be acknowledged by other men and women. I believe everyone needs attention from others of the opposite sex. Also, many times males and females are not being given the attention in a marriage, so talking to others on line helps keep them feeling cared for and keeps them from going off line in the real world. Therefore not physically running around. flamingred: Thank u for your input but I think if a marriage is a good one and happy both partners keep each other enthralled physically and mentally and are not really interested in finding out if the grass is greener on the otherside PhantomPirate: I find myself asking that same question quite often... and not surprisingly it's always the men that are out trolling, rarely if ever have I seen a happily married women looking for partners for the naughty box  deacon7771: Flamingred, I think you are setting the bar a bit too high for "happily married" men or women. Honestly, I don't want a divorce, but of course I am flattered and happy to get the attention of other women, and strangely enough, nothing makes me happier than to hear of or notice that other men admire my wife. I don't want her to leave me, but I AM VERY happy to know that other men think my wife is beautiful and that she is a great cook, or is a great anything else. Additionally, I think most women and actually quite a few men have some totally WRONG view of what men are naturally like, HEALTHY men have a sense of adventure, the like to go places they have not ever been before, they like to meet people they have never met before. That does not mean that a healthy adventurous man wants to leave his home forever, or forget his friends and family forever, it means that everyone, man or woman needs to continuously grow and expand their understanding and knowledge, when you quit learning new things you start dying. Finally, I think most everyone I know (men and women) is a bit hypocritical about loyalty and such; for example, I think I am a loyal and patriotic American, but I LOVE to travel to foreign places, I even contemplate retiring in a different country, also, there are certain foods I love, but not every day for the rest of my life! Christmas or Thanksgiving turkey dinner is great, but not every day for breakfast, lunch and dinner for the rest of my life! I try to NOT be a hypocrite about this "loyalty" thing, I do NOT feel jealous or resentful when my wife talks with and flirts with other men, and even if the impossible ever happened and she had an affair with another man I would LIKE TO BELIEVE that I would be understanding about it. I for one, do not condemn men or women who flirt, even if things do get out of hand and it develops into an affair it does NOT necessarily mean that a marriage must be broken, it means that a husband and wife need to show some understanding for each other and remember why they fell in love in the first place.
flamingred: thanks for taking the time to tell your opinion, I guess I am old fashioned, and like to thnk if I am in love with a guy and he is in love with me, well then we are enough for each other . deacon7771: Enough for each other, well, you can have enough oatmeal for breakfast, enough oatmeal for lunch, and enough oatmeal for dinner, and you can survive on oatmeal and maybe a bit of peanut butter if you have to for years.... but it gets boring. You can add spice and such but eventually you would get tired of having the same old thing, even if the same thing was the best caviar and champagne, if that is all you ever ate you would be fed up with it in very short order. I have learned to suppress any jealously when it comes to anyone I love, and I demand they do the same for me, if my wife chats and flirts with other men, I understand that even as exciting as I am, my company is not the only thing she needs. deacon7771: So true about jealousy being insecurity, I notice there are a LOT of very insecure people out there, there are people I know at work who try too hard to be everybody's friend, they are so insecure the NEED friends, and more friends, and the end result is that most people are sort of repulsed by them being "too friendly." I see way too many jealous husbands and boyfriends, but sometimes I think some women actually like to have their man get all jealous and possessive, to me it is sickening, to see a grown man act like a hyper-dependent and insecure little baby, they are so weak and pathetic when they start interrogating their woman about where she has been, what she did, who she spoke with.... but I honestly think that some women recognize the macho possessive man is actually a fake front covering up the weak, insecure baby inside, and I guess the women like it, knowing that behind the domineering husband / boyfriend, is a weak hyper-dependent ("I NEED you so much!" ) baby. (Edited by deacon7771)  Gulab82: flaming red, I do often wonder the same thing. I've asked a number of guys about it as well. Their response is ' Yeah we flirt, so what? We can go window shopping, we just know we're not going to buy the product'.... flamingred: People need to realize they need to figure out themselves and be happy within themselves before they can be happy with others, and to be strong within themselves , not try to just be what some man or woman wants them to be (Edited by flamingred) flamingred: well gulab as long as they let their partner operate with the same rules it is up to them but something is not being dealt with as partners if they do have that outlook on a relationship , or some people I guess just never want to be faithful to only one partner (Edited by flamingred) Gulab82: I see what you mean, flaming red. Also, when partners agree that is okay to flirt just for the sake of flirting, that may give off the danger of others taking the married person as being interested in them, opens up a can of worms flamingred: yes a big can of worms gulab, then jealousy , etc is added to the mix if maybe only one being lucky flirting lol (Edited by flamingred) Gulab82: still, a man just looking at a beautiful woman does not have to mean hes automatically being unfaithful.....its human nature to look at beauty women look at handsome men, too, even if the women are taken flamingred: yes, I think there are those men faithful to wives and just want to feel admired and wanted and then there are the trolls that say they are happily married but would be in so much trouble if their partner knew what they were doing,. some couples have an agreement and that is great as long as both on same page flamingred: thought I would post this I had a good laugh about it "When you marry the right > woman, you are COMPLETE. When you marry the wrong woman, you are > FINISHED. And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you > are COMPLETELY FINISHED  LaMuZe1916: flaming red.. I am half of a very happily married couple. I come here to chat w like minded people as well as the off chance of meeting local females I may want to explore w. my husband doesn't chat anywhere and I am very ok w that. I have always felt the female should be the one being social online or whatever if that's part of the dynamic.. deacon7771: LaMuZe, I agree with you that the female SHOULD be the one to be "social" and all that, unfortunately, for most women today, they are so repressed and self conscious that they have no sense of adventure at all. Men do have a sense of adventure, but too many men have no common sense at all when it comes to sexual adventures and they end up in big trouble. I know that there are MANY men who would love to be with a woman who could be the socially and sexually part of the pair, but for most men that is just a fantasy. Real women today are so phobic about being labeled a "slut" that they live their whole lives being horribly repressed (at least in the sexual aspect), and the men they are with end up dying of boredom. flamingred: deacon, I spent a whole married life having to suppress some of my thoughts sexually, and now I have decided , I am doing what I please and what I like and I am going to have fun while I can still do it lol Better late than never lol But I guess the way society is set up many woman suppress their sexually because they do not want to be labelled a slut Another way that women are held down by society (Edited by flamingred)  tinkerbellfaery: There is nothing wrong with a sexually free woman...the word Slut is the world of myopic thinkers way of limiting women's sexual confidence. tinkerbellfaery: I love women who do not feel ashamed if their bodies...what they feel is an imperfection is a mark of beauty ss far as I am concerned. Be it mis matched nipples, areolas, stretch marks, extra sized labia and clits , extra pounds, height issues.....whatever it be. I cannot stand tbe magazine led imagery that makes a tiny proportion of women feel they are it flamingred: advertising is all done with beautiful women, constantly,Dove is the first large organization that started to use normal looking women |