I'm in love with two men.

beadfairy1000: I use to be torn between the two men that I love most in the world. Now all I can do is sit back and enjoy the support and love that I receive from them.
It is hard for people to understand that my husband supports me and understand that just because I love some-one else it does not take away from the fact that I love him just as much.
Sometimes I get the feeling that he is relieved that when I get to much for him, he can always go and drop me off at my bf house and let him handle me.

Eyi1965: WOW! you are one lucky woman. I wish I could have a the support of my husband to accommodate my lover. Yes, it is a gift to have the love of two men and not feel torn between them. You love each deeply in different ways. I never thought that you can. romantically love two men at the same time. You go girl!! Cheers.

beadfairy1000: Thank you Marieye. It has been a difficult journey and we have been through alot of heartache as well as good times.
I just wish my bf's wife could be as understanding as my husband.
Good luck to you.

Eyi1965: Is the trouble and heart ache do to your lovers wife? How long have you been with him. Does your hubby have g/f? Life is never simple even if we follow traditional social rules. But, better to love and loose than never have that amazing life experience. Cheers

beadfairy1000: Ok, my husband does not have a gf and is not interested in getting one.
We have been together for 6 years and he and his wife have been together for 5, married for 1. I do get along with her, but she does not know the extent of our relationship. We have become friends over the last two years. It just sometimes feel as if she is not giving what he needs and that makes me sad.

Eyi1965: Are you happy with your husband? Good lover? I guess you are enough for him. One person isn't always enough for some people.

beadfairy1000: My husband is an amazing lover, but sometimes I need little bit more. With my bf there is very little sex involved.

Eyi1965: Why little sex? How often do you get to see him? When you do see him where do you meet him? His house, yours? Just curious.

beadfairy1000: We see each other every now and then, but just for a few minutes. We do get together once a month to visit and usually at his place. (While his wife is at work) We chat basically every day. There is a big sexual attraction between us, but sex only complicates everything and when we do get to spend time together we just enjoy each other's company. I sometimes just need to be near him to feel better.

Eyi1965: Sex? No sex? I couldn't if I was attracted to someone and be able to be alone and not have him lol. You are stronger than me.

bainyu: Okay woooow.
I know people have different ideas of whats wrong and right but this is just sad. Yes it is my opinion but marriage is sacred.
Sometimes what "feels" right isnt right.

I think sex is sacred too but giving your heart to two people is another level

Eyi1965: It is different for everyone. What is sacred to you isn't to someone else. Many people believe that you already broke the vows by having feeling for another who isn't your husband. Sex for others is the easy part because you can take it and leave it. Which is the case for many but, with matters of the heart, you have attachment and intimacy which is really where vows are considered broken. I, personally, don't have religious convictions at all. All I care is that no one gets hurt by my choices

beadfairy1000: Every-one feel different about a situation like this, I am not breaking any vows that i made the day we got married. I honer, love and even obey my husband on all levels in out marriage, but he also understands that i care deeply for this other person. I think if the other person was not also in another relationship we would have slept together a long time ago. Not having sex is a choice that we made, because we both understand how complicated it would make our lives.

Eyi1965: I wish you luck, enjoy the times you have with the men you love. Life is strange and will always trick you. Be safe and happy. Cheers

bainyu: I know everyone sees things differently. But you know what I know is that (if i can be opinionated and blunt for a moment) is that you dont instantly love someone... so you allowed your relationship to grow over time. If you respected and honored your husband you wouldnt have let it go this far. When people do things like this they arent thinking of the other person, they are thinking of themselves. Its not in anyway selfless but oh so very selfish. You and the guy you are doing this with. Its very selfish. And even if you say your husband is alright with this... im sure the reason the man you like is not telling his wife is because he knows what she would say. She'd probably leave him... ive seen stuff like this before and i hate this. This is pure selfishness.. and love is not selfish.

Im not trying to be malicious but i just see peoples lives messed up because people do things like these.. i feel affected and its not even me

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

beadfairy1000: @bainyu12 Don;t come with you Bible verses and try and act holier than God.
If you are so AFFECTED by this, please do us all a favour and stay away from this forum.

Dalai Mama: Maybe your bf's wife expected him to HONOUR his wedding vows, you know, the one he took when he married her? You're delusional

bainyu: Guuurl.
Im not acting holier than you in anyway.
You cannot possibly think what your doing is right. Is this a private forum?
I actually do wish you the best. I just was telling you my opinion.
Thanks for reading anyway.

Dalai Mama: bain, often ppl who know they are desperately trying to justify something that isn't right accuse others of being "holier than thou" to assuage their guilt. I wouldn't worry about it, anyone with half a brain in their head can see she needs a reality check

Eyi1965: I think it is okay for anyone in a PUBLIC forum to have an opinion. Discussion makes us think and grow as people. I can see both sides of this discussion. The heart wants what the hearts wants. It isn't about religious or social expectations it is really about people and if you are hurting them. Lets not hurt those we love. Cheers

Dalai Mama: THere is no excuse for "the heart" hurting other ppl to get what it wants. She is hurting another woman by having an emotional relationship with this woman's husband. how you can excuse that is beyond me... but then again, ppl in today's society always have a reason for taking what they want and not thinking of others... some might call it selfish

Eyi1965: She is not hurting the other woman. Her husband made a choice so, he is the one responsible. I am sure this woman didn't put a gun to his head. Lets face it, we are all tempted every single day. It is your choice and responsibility at the end not the other person.

one with the trees: I would dump your ass .sex is one thing .emotional connections with another man .shows that your husband probly doesn't give a shit about you .

beadfairy1000: Thank Marieyi for you comments.
The fact that my husband is so understanding and supportive just shows how much he cares for me, for him it is important that I'm happy and there is a some things in life that he is unable to give me and by doing this he gives me the freedom to live a full and happy life. And when I'm happy he is happy.
Most people I know that ever fell in love with some-one outside of their marriage go out and have an affair and sleep around because they can't speak to their partners about what they are truly feeling. In the end there is nothing left for them and they end in divorce court.

Eyi1965: We are all guilty of quick judgement but, until we walk in others shoes, we don't really know what we will do. Life is short and if you have a chance to grasp at some happiness, we should. Your are open with your mate and he loves you in a way very few can understand. People forget that we don't belong to anyone. We share each other. Your man is more secure than most. Wishing you well. Cheers

bainyu: I stopped replying im gonna unfollow this thread because this is starting to get on my nerves... dont try to justify something that is flat out wrong. It not "open-minded" and "understanding" of you Mari. Its foolish.

And LADY you are having an affair with a man that is NOT YOURS. That man has a wife. You BOTH are doing it behind her back. If you dont think what you are doing is wrong i challenge you to do what you normally do while his WIFE is there.

Your husband doesnt respect himself. No man would let HIS wife have an intimate, emotional, or physical relationship with ANOTHER man. That doesnt make him secure... that just means there is some deep seeded issue there.

If you go to a phsychiatrist or phsychologist they can help you out.

Be an upstanding woman, put you big girl panties on and tell his wife what you have been doing behind her back. You would want the same thing if you were in her position.

no point in responding.. i wont be getting the notification.
CIAO.