Yeah....

...old school...

Happy days

Just when I thought Prometheus was bad...

Several months ago I heard about the game 'Aliens: Colonial Marines'. The marketing gurus were doing their job getting people all excited and as a fan of the story line, I was damned near dribbling with anticipation.
As the months went by, the teasers and tidbits run by the advertisers, had me amped up and ready to rock!.

A week ago I bought the game.

Note to self; It's probably a hint when you buy a fairly recent game with a big red sticker saying "Only $28" and the other price sticker says "$79.36", on the discount/sale table.

The initial start of the game where the 'Sulaco' (Colonial marine ship in the movie Aliens 2 and the start of Alien 3) is found back orbiting the planet LV-426, by the rescue team mentioned in the movie Aliens 2, looked like a strange but positive begining to the story.
In the comic series Aliens Colonial Marines, there are humans who've eaten way too much alien queen royal jelly, and whilst looking bug-eyed/headed and not someone you'd want to see on an organ donor list, they can fly a ship.
Unfortunately the Colonial Marines story line only goes so far as a stolen name.

I'm used to seeing a storyline bastardised beyond recognition, and am happy to tolerate it because sometimes the newer version(s) are better.
Not in this case.

But the most unforgivable aspect of this game is that it's 10 years past its prime.
If this had come out on PS1 or PS2, then the lack-luster graphics would have been 'amazing' at the time. On a PS3 they just look half-arsed.
I honestly get the feeling it was intended to be released on an earlier platform but sidelined for several years before some ad-hoc "improvements". Everything about it from the graphics to the game play smack of dodgy, last minute work combined with sheer lack of thought or focus.

The sloppy control of weapons is bad enough without the pointless "upgrades". Can anyone explain why the targeting cross hairs wobble out of sync with the weapon?
The limited game space of locked/broken doors and inaccessable areas in general, smacks of Doom/Castle Wolfenstein versions 1. "You must follow this path and not deviate!". Exploreing is not encouraged or enabled.
The lack of capacity to 'save game' or start from a recent checkpoint becomes an issue when you begin a level with low health/armour, from the start, for the 15th-20th time.

Shoddy construction and implementation of a decent concept lets this game down severely. If it was a Hollywood movie, it'd go straight to DVD without ever seeing the inside of a cinema.

Long story short, if someone buys this for you as a gift, leave it in the plastic wrap and sell it immediately. It's not worth the effort of opening.

Cloudy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=esEdC0c3YI4&feature=endscreen

Life?....

Butterly wings

Go 28

Prometheus sucks

I'm a huge fan of the Aliens story line. The first movie I ever watched that had me scared shitless was Aliens 2 Special Edition (still want one of those robot guns). I liked the story line so much I read the books & comics.
Alien 4 (Resurrection) was initially disappointing for me because the books said she was a synthetic human, but the movie made her some tripped out, born again hybrid. Works tho, she could've built the synthetic version.
The Predator (think Arnie in the jungle saying "If it bleeds, we can kill it" movie) story line ties in with Aliens, but I'm fvcked if I understand any of the piss-poor movies that have been made under the heading 'Alien Vs Predator'.

After watching Prometheus I have to ask, whose too much faith in so little talent, overly financed family member allowed this garbage to be written let alone filmed?
"Questions will be answered"...really?, here's one; how does a hamburger sized squid thing cut out of a chicks belly, end up the size of a Mack truck?

Aliens always grew fast, but they needed this weird thing called "Food". How that chicks squid baby ended up so large it could strangle a blue whale, without anything/one to eat, is beyond me.

This movie makes an over-loaded septic tank look sterile and clean.

Secret Blue-ray movie

I JUST discovered that the Blue-Ray Collectors Edition Of 'Prometheus' that I bought a week ago to play on my PS3 (which died the same day) has a DVD version included......
I've sat here for a week annoyed at my PS3 for shitting itself because apart from being unable to play games, I couldn't watch the 1st Blue-ray movie I've ever bought.
Honestly, new tech should have a bright red label saying "ATTENTION STUPID PEOPLE, READ HERE!".
I'd keep ranting, but there's a chick doing pushups on screen....