ala_freaking_bama: i just had this aold woman sandral57 pmed me and said "i should to blow my bullet through my head "and then blocked me ....... she sounds kinda horny to me ....
MAN: Have you finished ironing my silk shirt?
WIFE: Yes, hun
MAN: Then please bring it here. I have to get dres
WIFE: Hun, I was ironing and someone knocked on the door. I went to open it and when I came back I could smell something burning…
MAN: Don’t tell me you’ve burnt my shirt.
WIFE:Yes i did sorry hun
MAN: Oh, no! Fortunately, I have another silk shirt in the cupboard.
WIFE: I know that, sir. That’s why I cut it up and patched up the one I burnt!
Husband: Today is our wedding anniversary, where do you want me to take you?
Wife: Take me someplace I have never seen before!
Husband: Then I shall take you to the kitchen!
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saintofthesinful: Only difference, We pushed sea turtles and bald eagles to near extinction through a plethora of decisions and the ecological fall out from losing them two whole species would be massive. You are comparing apples to oranges and creating a false equivalence.
ala_freaking_bama: Father in a conversation with a neighbor…
First son: Degree in Economics
Second son: MBA
Third son: PhD
Fourth son: Thief
Neighbor: Why can’t you throw the fourth son out of your house?
Father: He is the only one earning money. The rest are unemployed.
Super Esquire: Most of us, when we get abused get nasty. But Jesus really walked the talk, and had so much self control. Mortally abused, yet he was in total control of the situation. "No man takes my life from me but I offer it up of myself," Jesus said.
ala_freaking_bama: i want say someting .....i know there those who put all law officers down because of some rogue officers .....but think if there were no officers in el paso or ohio this weekend how many more would had been killed ....i know people will not wanna pay attention to that but would rather dwell on the bad ones for an excuse ... GOD bless the boys in blue
ala_freaking_bama: a smart child:
A teacher asked her students to use the word “beans” in a sentence.
“My father grows beans,” said one girl.
“My mother cooks beans,” said a boy.
A third student spoke up, “We are all human beans.”
ala_freaking_bama: i am the first person to say i believe that people that wanna come here should be able to but they should do legally as the others do .....
but the bs that happen in el paso is in no way away to handle the situation ...hate breeds hate
ala_freaking_bama: Wife: “What are you doing?”
Wife: “Nothing? You’ve been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.”
Husband: “I was looking for the expiration date.”
ala_freaking_bama: A couple, both age 78, went to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?"
The man said, "Will you watch us have sex?"
The doctor looked puzzled but agreed.
When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have sex," and charged them $50.
This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have sex with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave.
Finally, the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?"
"We're not trying to find out anything," the husband replied.
"She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $90. The Hilton charges $108. We do it here for $50...and I get $43 back from Medicare.