The storm Inside me!

I lay awake each night thinking where is my life heading? where should I be?. The feeling of doubt overwhelms me and takes me to places I never saw myself going, places no one ever wants to find themselves in. dark places of the mind!

The air is thin, the Arctic frost slashing into my fragile skin, The Eyre echo of the wind howling through the trees thrusting and swaying as if time had slowed down to catch every movement. My weightless limp body plucked from the ground in which I once stood and catapulted into the awakening storm. A moment of pure clarity smudged by fear and desolation. Reaching the peek of desperation I struggle to break loose but this power over me is too strong, thick black fog engulfs the surrounding skies. The savage storm rages on, tumultuous thunder piercing through me shattering every piece of hope left inside,suffocating in this decaying cloud of damnation gasping for one last gulp of air one more chance at life. The final breath escapes from my delicate lips ... time freezes and I step outside of myself and look upon my dead motionless body. guilt, fear, rage emotions that I once had were gone, all I felt was loss. I had lost myself within myself without even realising it.

Does It make sense ... I think not... Or maybe it does...

Life is a stepping stone in a body of endless water, a choice of direction, a simple movement left paralysed in the abyss,The ultimate embodiment of beauty derived from function. One step can alter life's perception, twisting the human mind in ways of uncertainty.

Step forward... and risk losing yourself in a forever decaying nothingness, a broken record, The inevitable failure of humanity!
Step back... and find yourself descending rapidly into a black hole of fear, hatred, regret, Every bad choice, Every mistake, Every moment prior to this very one! yet the feeling of familiarity is somewhat comforting.
Stand still... and watch every moment pass you by, all the possibilities,
opportunities, love, career, happiness.
Stuck in the same place too scared to move forward sickened by the thought of moving back.

I have spent my whole life worrying about if I have made the right choices and done the right things, when in reality there is no right or wrong there is just now.
Some people choose to spend their lives in the past for whatever reason,be it forgiveness acceptance or just because it is what has already been and will be again. Uncertainty is the abyss, The mistake is thinking that there can be an antidote to the uncertainty.

Don't be afraid of the choices you make, the choice in itself is taking the first step.

Choices

I truly believe that it is the choices we make the defines the path we choose in life. There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them!

Any change, any loss, does not make us victims.Others can shake you,surprise you or disappoint you.But they can’t prevent you from moving on.No matter where you are in life, no matter what your situation, you can always do something.On every turn of life, you will always have a choice.
And that choice can be your power.

I can't help but feel I'm making all the wrong decisions, and I'm lost trying to find a way of fixing them.I have gone through some rough spots in my life and so have you most likely, I felt at times that I could hardly hold my head above the water and sometimes I felt that I was burned on every side.

How do we truly know were making the right decisions? well we don't, everyone makes mistakes in life but its them mistakes we make that need to be learned from. Don't think that you failing at life because you have made a lot of wrong decisions, just remember you can always change them, make them better, make them worth choosing. Everyone has a purpose to be here don't doubt yours.

I love each and every one of you for who you are, don't ever change the true you, it will always be the best you can be

FAKE!

Fake people: A fake person is someone who is not genuine and will do whatever it takes to make themselves look good. They will take credit for others work or down play the good of others to illuminate oneself. Fake people take part in hypocrisy, lies, and will turn on friendship the moment it no longer is a benefit for them. They will change their personality to fit in a certain group.

HAHA!!

Some people make me laugh you are so FAKE I swear I saw the words "made in china" etched into the back of your neck!!

Get over yourself and show your true colours stop being a coward stop hiding behind fake pictures and lies! Why should I have to keep my mouth shut I’ve done nothing wrong and yet I’m the one getting punished well not anymore I’m done I don’t care I KNOW THE TRUTH! And I’ve only just realised that is enough for me.im not going to waste any more time waiting for answers I know will probably be fake too!!

In conclusion…. I AM ME!! Love me or hate me I don’t care but I know who I am and I’m not afraid to hide it.

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