 Friends        | I got a new stick deodorant today. The instructions said, “Remove cap and push up bottom”. I can barely walk, but whenever I fart the room smells lovely.  WonderWoman1: Cheers 5 years ago • Report  0  alanatenfield: One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. As they are about to kiss each other goodnight at the front door, the guy starts feeling a little frisky. With an air of confidence,he leans with his hand against the wall and smiling, he says to her, "Honey, would you have sex with me?" Horrified, she replies, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!" "Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" he asks, grinning at her. "No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?" "Oh come on! There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!" "No way. It's just too risky!" "Oh please, please, I love you so much!" "No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!" "Oh, yes you can. Please?" "No, no. I just can't" "I'm begging you." Out of the blue, the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl's older sister shows up in her pyjamas, hair dishevelled and, in a sleepy voice, she says: "Dad says to go ahead and have sex with him, or I can do it... or if need be Mom says she can come down herself and do it. But for heaven's sake,tell him to take his hand off that bloody intercom!" alanatenfield: A husband and wife who work for the circus go to an adoption agency.
Social workers there raise doubts about their suitability. The couple produce photos of their 50-foot motor home, which is clean and well maintained and equipped with a beautiful nursery. The social workers raise concerns about the education a child would receive while in the couple's care. "We've arranged for a full-time tutor who will teach the child all the usual subjects along with French, Mandarin, and computer skills." Then the social workers express concern about a child being raised in a circus environment. "Our nanny is a certified expert in paediatric care, welfare, and diet," the circus couple explained. The social workers are finally satisfied. They ask, "What age child are you hoping to adopt?" "It doesn't really matter, as long the kid fits in the cannon."  Happy Go Lucky lass: Merry Christmas to you and your loved ones.. and all the very for 2016... bless ya..   alanatenfield: Don't know if you guys have heard but mickey mouse is divorcing Minnie! Well the judge was reading through the case papers, when he looks up and says to Mickey "Well Mickey I don't see that Minnie having Buck Teeth is sufficient grounds for divorce! But your honour says Mickey interrupting I never said Minnie had Buck Teeth I said she was F***ing Goofy !.  Angel131313: ░B░I░G░ ░H░U░G░S░ ░F░O░R░ ░Y░O░U░ ƸӜƷ.•°*”*°•.ƸӜƷ.•°*”˜★˜”*°•.ƸӜƷ.•°*”*°•.ƸӜƷ Aww Miss  hopes your feeling better I know all too well on that I keep losing them year ago had to have 3 pulled at one time then within a week another one shattered had it taken out & root cancel do not work on me I've been in teeth pain for awhile again.  Angel131313: Miss had read that before but......she did sent wrong message to a friend but it was just a funny hahaah so she & I laughed it off another funny thing Miss does is type to fast so make new words all the time & my gal friend has a new name from Miss coming up on 3 years known her you always know when u have a friend for life ***Keep*Smilin***   CatcherAl: Wow, lovely looking common Alan. It looks to be in perfect condition too. Can't wait to get out there myself this year. Fingers crossed here lol. Take care, love to Carole. alanatenfield to brandiesbard: Just shift your butt back to the lounge where your mates are all waiting for you! alanatenfield to barnestorming_girl: A friend is like a flower, a rose to be exact, Or maybe like a brand new gate that never comes unlatched. A friend is like an owl, both beautiful and wise. Or perhaps a friend is like a ghost, whose spirit never dies. A friend is like a heart that goes strong until the end. Where would we be in this world if we didn't have a friend. alanatenfield to lumu81: A friend is like a flower, a rose to be exact, Or maybe like a brand new gate that never comes unlatched. A friend is like an owl, both beautiful and wise. Or perhaps a friend is like a ghost, whose spirit never dies. A friend is like a heart that goes strong until the end. Where would we be in this world if we didn't have a friend. barnestorming_girl: A friend is someone who cares Someone who is always there A friend is someone special Someone who you can tell everything A friend is someone who will never betray you No matter who doesn't like you A friend is someone you can trust Someone kind of like you   |
