baybeblue: As a few of you know I had a very eventful beginning of the year. I know I posted I went through something very traumatic but didn't go into detail. So now I will divulge into what has happened to me this year and where I am now. January was a hard month I lost two grandmothers, and an aunt. I also turned 30 which I've been dreading since I was about 15. Anywho I was with who seemed to be the most wonderful man ever he attended funerals with me and pushed me in a way I needed. He also kept me slightly secluded and belittled my opinions. But I didn't really notice I was in love. He through me a birthday party and met my entire family. February 4th we got into an argument, all couples get into an apartment. But he put his hands on me. I fought to get his hands from around my neck but couldn't. He released, I was shocked, hurt. I didn't know what to do or think I had cared about him so much. We were camping in the middle of nowhere, in an rv, I stepped outside to get some fresh air my car wasn't right there I couldn't drive it in there so it was parked on the edge of the property. But I fell to my knees in the dirt and looked up to the sky and prayed if you want to call it that. I begged the god or gods if there are any to please just let him know I love him. I went back into the camper. And sat there Lucas said for me to just do it... and I had no idea what he meant he told me again just do it. I was lost hurt confused and said that there were a lot of things I had wanted to do but that what I was going to do was leave. I said I was done I would be back with an officer to gather my belongings but I no longer wanted to be with him. I got up and walked outside and down the dirt road towards where my car was... I was about 50 ft away from the camper when I heard a gun and felt the hit in my back. I turned and screamed but he had shot again, I felt it hit me in my arm. I screamed again as he continued shooting this time I felt as though I had gotten hit in my head I could feel warm liquid running down my face, then the last shot got me in my hip and that is when I could no longer stand. I fell to the ground and he was standing over me. I was crying and I asked him if he was going to kill me and with no emotion in his face he looked me in the eyes and said probably. I begged for my life, I kissed his feet. I promised him anything I could think of if he would just let me go. He refused. Unfortunately for him he was out of ammo, he went back to the camper and I threw the flashlight I had so he wouldn't be able to see me and I crawled through the grass and water to my car which was closer to me then the camper was to him. I pulled myself up into my car and I drove myself to the er. He followed me. I was life flighted to a bigger hospital, he was eventually caught. That was the scariest moment of my life it felt like a horror movie I couldn't escape. It didn't feel real. And I blamed myself for a very long time. Thinking if only I had just went to my car the first time I walked out of the camper if I never said I would be back with an officer. If I had just not argued with him at all if I had just done every little thing he asked. But now I'm thankful. I am thankful it happened to me instead of any other person because they may not have been able to get away. Thankful that I am able to walk, talk, eat, breath. Thankful that going through this has opened my eyes and my heart. Thankful that in that moment I found Jesus. Thankful for everything. I am doing great I am working now just got a $2.50 raise and a new job title at the care home I work at. I am back on my feet my car is running good again. Forgot to mention I broke it getting to the er. I have my own place. I attend church regularly. I have learned that I have a very large support group. I have learned that I can overcome anything. I've learned that I am strong, I am worthy and I am loved.
January was a hard month I lost two grandmothers, and an aunt. I also turned 30 which I've been dreading since I was about 15. Anywho I was with who seemed to be the most wonderful man ever he attended funerals with me and pushed me in a way I needed. He also kept me slightly secluded and belittled my opinions. But I didn't really notice I was in love. He through me a birthday party and met my entire family. February 4th we got into an argument, all couples get into an apartment. But he put his hands on me. I fought to get his hands from around my neck but couldn't. He released, I was shocked, hurt. I didn't know what to do or think I had cared about him so much. We were camping in the middle of nowhere, in an rv, I stepped outside to get some fresh air my car wasn't right there I couldn't drive it in there so it was parked on the edge of the property. But I fell to my knees in the dirt and looked up to the sky and prayed if you want to call it that. I begged the god or gods if there are any to please just let him know I love him. I went back into the camper. And sat there Lucas said for me to just do it... and I had no idea what he meant he told me again just do it. I was lost hurt confused and said that there were a lot of things I had wanted to do but that what I was going to do was leave. I said I was done I would be back with an officer to gather my belongings but I no longer wanted to be with him. I got up and walked outside and down the dirt road towards where my car was... I was about 50 ft away from the camper when I heard a gun and felt the hit in my back. I turned and screamed but he had shot again, I felt it hit me in my arm. I screamed again as he continued shooting this time I felt as though I had gotten hit in my head I could feel warm liquid running down my face, then the last shot got me in my hip and that is when I could no longer stand. I fell to the ground and he was standing over me. I was crying and I asked him if he was going to kill me and with no emotion in his face he looked me in the eyes and said probably. I begged for my life, I kissed his feet. I promised him anything I could think of if he would just let me go. He refused. Unfortunately for him he was out of ammo, he went back to the camper and I threw the flashlight I had so he wouldn't be able to see me and I crawled through the grass and water to my car which was closer to me then the camper was to him. I pulled myself up into my car and I drove myself to the er. He followed me. I was life flighted to a bigger hospital, he was eventually caught. That was the scariest moment of my life it felt like a horror movie I couldn't escape. It didn't feel real. And I blamed myself for a very long time. Thinking if only I had just went to my car the first time I walked out of the camper if I never said I would be back with an officer. If I had just not argued with him at all if I had just done every little thing he asked. But now I'm thankful. I am thankful it happened to me instead of any other person because they may not have been able to get away. Thankful that I am able to walk, talk, eat, breath. Thankful that going through this has opened my eyes and my heart. Thankful that in that moment I found Jesus. Thankful for everything. I am doing great I am working now just got a $2.50 raise and a new job title at the care home I work at. I am back on my feet my car is running good again. Forgot to mention I broke it getting to the er. I have my own place. I attend church regularly. I have learned that I have a very large support group. I have learned that I can overcome anything. I've learned that I am strong, I am worthy and I am loved.
I thank God for your life and will keep ya in prayer blue
Im so happy u keep running the race. I believe your testimony will help others overcome their own traumas. And you are correct,u are not alone
And congrats on the raise hehe