Counselling starts soon...

So I'm starting counselling on Monday? Am I oversharing?... Probably. But I believe the Internet has made it so easy that we can choose to not read something or to keep going. So, I'll keep writing if you want to tune out, click back and enjoy your day 😊.
I've been living my life lovingly as we love anything--love/hate relationship really. No thing in this world makes us entirely happy all the time. Even chocolate or our favourite food makes us feel unwell in excess. Life can be so incredibly beautiful so many things to enjoy and appreciate and laugh at. Sometimes life or certain things are cruel, confusing and can take over the mind's thoughts.
I'm a total overthinker, but I prefer to be that way. I re-think on most things throughout my day. My thoughts vary from thinking back to a time at the beach, to being bombarded with sometimes annoying thoughts.
It's cool in a way to understand that that's all they are, thoughts. They can come and they can go but when we spend too long on a certain thought, or way of thinking about certain situations it can be immobilising. Like being stuck, so to get through it, instead of having these thoughts bombard me. I'm spending time with them, feeling into them, giving myself that time to process the not so good parts of life. The overthinker, who has shut off certain areas that doesn't want to overthink is gonna do my process and do just that, come up with a way to outgrow those shitty invasive annoying thoughts.
Find a solution to the problem, right?
Cool.

Thoughts for someone in need

Some things get thrown at us & we are not prepared for it, it can take our breath away, hurry out thoughts, hurt our hearts and leave us feeling numb to it all but also very alert. Such a weird way it can leave us. It's important to know when all these feelings and unprepared things happen that we remember another time we got through something we never thought we'd have the strength for and also when we feel soo hopeless to remember those around us who bring hope and to let them give you some of theirs. There's always gonna be tough times in life like this, but each time we go through them we learn our strength. We shock ourselves at what we can do. I'm looking forward to the moment it finally reaches you, that moment where you say to yourself, "it's okay that I'm the way I am right now, it's okay how I am feelings that my thoughts and feelings are important but I will do this." We've got to do it, when we keep doing and doing that's the moment we find out that we CAN.
<3 my thoughts are with you.
You are not alone no matter how much you might feel alone right now you really do have a guardian angel looking after you lean on people when you need, that's what we are all here for to help eachother and build eachother up in the not so good times.
<3

I want a guy..

I want a guy who wants to know what I am personality wise not only what I look like/feel like naked..
I want a guy who wants to know what Im gonna do with my life, what kinda woman Im gonna be & grandmother (cause yes I'll get older)
I want a guy who wants to know all this so much he proposes to me cause he doesn't want another to experience all this..
What Im gonna do in life, what I'll achieve..
Yes..it maybe old fashioned..but dammit I ain't settling for any less

Temporarily Joyous, yet Permanently ailing

Daggered words
Piercing hearts
Soft hand blows
across my scarred memory.
Treasured events
locked in time
replaying over
my frame of mind.
Awakening souls
these little products
swirling fantasies
of distorted images
Filling with joy
only temporary
yet, ailing permanently
my persona.

If only my tears would be enough

In your eyes, i see the window to your hurt
I see everything that you have a hold of
ever afraid to let it go
for fear of losing others to your anguish

You rant and are full of distermperment
A rageing bull, but; yet keep tame
Hesitant to unleash this other side of you

I worry about you when i see your sorrowful eyes
Full of tears that you refuse to let fall,
thinking that it will keep you balanced
believing no-one shall notice their gathering

Time has never stopped to let you get back on your feet
Moving swiftly, forever continuing
Sweeping you along with the tide
It doesn't wait for you to choose
nor slow down for you to pick up the pace

If only the tears that i let fall for you
would take the tears from the hold of your eyes
Let them disolve into my cheeks and disappear from yours
when im hurting, for you

I'm forever trying to open your eyes to the world
and close them to the past, to the hellish things you have seen To the wicked things you have experienced

If only you would choose to listen and not just hear my words
the opening of your ears to these words
The opening of your eyes to let those tears fall...

~strolling~

Strolling -light illuminating parts on ur body each time the shadow of the trees allow
I am focusing on the remnants of ur smell that my nose entrapped
And my lips remembering the warmth of the crevasse in ur neck
My eyes softly flick shut and open
My breaths; mimicking my eye's movements'
Birds seem to tweet 'the lover's enchantment' from somewhere afar
My whole body seems attuned to yours
My body is famished,
My throat; dry
I want to leave my scent all over you
Adorned with soft touches and sweet kisses
Tasting you
Leaving some markings~
My nail the pen
You shud be known to be mine
At least for this time. ..

world leader?!

I wanna be a World Leader, I wanna be free to talk how I do too!! I am saddened by the Syrian crisis and the refugees fleeing and Britain sitting back and doing nothing!!

This wars being going on Years there, the E.U are only now getting involved because the refugees are coming here and its directly affecting them !!

I feel for all walks of life...