kellyf131 Offline

50 Female from Stephenville       833
         

kellyf131
kellyf131: Motley she needs a lil weight tho
13 days ago Report Link
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gus_thomason
gus_thomason: nice rIde. How many miles per bail does she make? LOL.
12 days ago Report
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laura64
laura64: he is gorgeous!!
12 days ago Report
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popatop69
popatop69: ELMERS CALLED , WANTS 2 KNOW IF U WANNA SELL
10 days ago Report
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bohunter4 got the Naughty badge from kellyf131 16 days ago Report
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kellyf131 got the Naughty badge from bohunter4 16 days ago Report
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kellyf131 got the Chef badge from bohunter4 20 days ago Report
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kellyf131
kellyf131: jus workin fields today..hehe
26 days ago Report Link
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thabomb_brunnie
thabomb_brunnie: lmaooo great pic
23 days ago Report
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dawebone617
dawebone617: ouch!
22 days ago Report
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OLDGUYNH™
OLDGUYNH™: sweetie just a thought but perhaps this type of humor is WHY you are still single
22 days ago Report
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kellyf131
26 days ago Report Link
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BackwooodsBarbie
BackwooodsBarbie: Damnot I'll stop! Lol
26 days ago Report
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rowdy50
rowdy50: That's freakin fabulous darlin
26 days ago Report
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BackwooodsBarbie
BackwooodsBarbie in reply to BackwooodsBarbie: Damnit*
26 days ago Report
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kellyf131
26 days ago Report Link
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rockislandred1
rockislandred1: haha i know this well
26 days ago Report
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kellyf131
26 days ago Report Link
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Kanzy__cougarbitey got the Crazy badge from kellyf131 28 days ago Report
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tfergie008 got the Grammar Police badge from kellyf131 28 days ago Report
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kellyf131 got the Baby on Board badge from dennybegood 29 days ago Report
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kellyf131 got the Winter Glove badge from dennybegood 29 days ago Report
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kellyf131
kellyf131: l had to share this, it made me laugh out loud
"Why Women Are Crabby!"

We started to 'bud' in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find that anything that came in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurt so bad it brought us to tears. So came the ridiculously uncomfortable training bra contraption that the boys in school would snap until we had calluses on our backs.

Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we bloated, we cramped, we got the hormone crankies, had to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.

Our next little rite of passage was having sex for the first time which was about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up with his little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.

Then it was off to Motherhood where we learned to live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we didn't spend the entire day leaning over Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learned to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we were preparing to have Rosemary's Baby.

Our once flat bellies looked like we swallowed a whole watermelon and we pee'd our pants every time we sneezed. When the big moment arrived, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we had to waddle, with our big cartoon feet, moaning in pain, all the way to the ER.

Then it was huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, 'Please stop screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar. Calm down and push. 'Just one more good push' (more like 10), warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the %$#*@*#!* hubby and doctor square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10 pound bowling ball through a keyhole.

After that, it was time to raise those angels, only to find that when all that 'cute' wears off, the beautiful little darlings morphed into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.

Then come their 'Teen Years.' Need I say more?

When the kids are almost grown, we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our early 40's - while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday.

So we progress into the grand finale: 'The Menopause,' the Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take HRT and chance cancer in those now seasoned 'buds' or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or sweat like a hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that moves.

Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men, when men get off so easy, INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks...

So, while I love being a woman, 'Womanhood' would make the Great Gandhi a tad crabby. You think women are the 'weaker sex?' Yeah right. Bite me.
1 month ago Report Link
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rockislandred1
rockislandred1: this was so truthful you almost want to laugh through the tears of that truth lol ty for posting . they have no idea ...if they did they would be way more afraid of us LOL
1 month ago Report
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rockislandred1
rockislandred1: this needed passing on
i stole it ty
1 month ago Report
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RickLaMesa
RickLaMesa: This is true hahaha
1 month ago Report
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kellyf131 got the Keno Level 5 badge 1 month ago Report
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kellyf131
1 month ago Report Link
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BackwooodsBarbie 1 month ago Report
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kellyf131
kellyf131 changed her profile picture: 29 days ago Report
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OLDGUYNH™
OLDGUYNH™: sweetie
lovely as ever
29 days ago Report
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mj8248
mj8248: :happy wave:
28 days ago Report
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mj8248
mj8248: oops
28 days ago Report
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