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Halloween Special- How to Survive Horror Movies PT 2

31. Kill everyone you see. If one is possessed, assume all are possessed. It’s easier that way. Besides, the whining cousin will only slow you down anyways. Kill them al, show no mercy and let God sort them out. If he's as perfect as we believe, he'll forgive you.

32. If you are even somewhat religious, BECOME AN ATHEIST IMMEDIATELY! Monsters will invariably seek you out, gloating in defiance of "your weak faith," and say mean things about your deity. :ghost

33.If you hear noises in a room and there isn't suppose to be someone in that room, leave the house ASAP and that also goes for strange phone with strange noise coming out of the phone.

34. If you are a female, never show your breasts, easy women are expendable but the same goes to randy men flash their sexy 6 pack chest.

35. If you are a woman your chances of survival are much much better if you are a good woman. Bad women have only the slimmest hope for survival. Cast jealousy aside and buddy right up to the good woman.

36.if you're a male, get out of there as fast as possible or cosy up to the frigid or virgin plain jane girl! The only one who ever survives is a female.

37. Don't be a smart-ass, mean girl, best friend, a jerk or the geek cause it’ will only get you killed

38. Don’t work the night shift and make sure someone waiting for you after.

39.If you are female and you just found any of your friends dead by any means it's probably not the time to get naked and take a shower and a skinny drip not to wiser as well, as a rule no to any nudity.

40.Don't volunteer to go for help ! and If you do go with someone whose dumber, prettier and slower than you.


41. Always be nice to the shy, quiet, unpopular girl in school and defo don’t try to prank or set her up to be humiliated.

42.Don't accept sexual advances of ANYONE who never knew or liked you previously.

43. Don’t go back for a friend, he's a goner.

44.If you stumble across the body of a dead friend, do not go looking for the rest of your friends, because they're probably dead too.

45.NEVER start crying/whining when the monster or villain has you cornered, it wastes precious time that you could use to fight back and the monster or villain does not really give a damn about your life anyway.

46. Remember, the priest will NEVER make it to your domicile to relieve you of those pesky supernatural occurrences. Whether by plane, train, auto, horse, donkey, bus, or afoot, he'll never ever make it to your doorstep alive (unless he's secretly in league with Satan and then your screwed).

47. Skeptics are always proved wrong in some horrible, nasty, painful way. Be a believer.

My suggestions:48 .IF You were amongst a group of bullies at school beware the good looking new comer to town, it may be the victim seeking a bloody revenge, unless you’re the person they fancy backing in the day or start dating them you might have a chance.

49. Try and remember the basic rules of killing vampires, zombies and monster, people always seem to forget them.

50. If your pet starts barking or hissing and generally is freaked out by something or someone-take the hint!!

51. If a crazy person, old person or a social outcast tries to give you advice about something that is coming or that something is cursed or coming to get you, yet again take the hint.

52. Beware of isolate areas where residents seem a bit weird, tight knit community, speak with a funny accent and have a obvious inbred family traits.!!!

53. When strange things or unexplainable things starts happening in your town don’t start investigate, curiosity does kill the cat, so just get the hell out of there!!!

54. If your friends are bitten by something don’t try and help or keep them around just kill!!! I’m sure they would understand.

55.. If you and your friends decided to have a party in spooky woods or a haunted house particularly at Halloween party and are getting and smoking some Mary Jane be prepared to be massacred especially if your just have or in the process of shagging, so try be the sober virgin in the corner.

56. Having a secret or a mysterious past doesn’t help so deal problems before everything kicks off.

57. Dont dapple in the occult trying to bring about demons or try to raise the devil because chances are their still going to kill you anyway.

58. Place to stay away from; hospital, mental asylums, graveyards, abandoned building, areas that have been previously exposed to nuclear radiation, the prom, petrol station and the strange house nobody goes near because of the freaky f@cker who lives inside.

59. If you’re going to watch horror movies on Halloween try and have a by your side just in case, you have a high chance of getting killed.

60. If a sexy, tall, mysterious stranger with an Eastern European accent comes to town don’t be seduced by his looks and charm because he wants to drink your blood.