Lost

Lost

you lost me,
to his touch,
to the touch you never gave,
you lost me when he gazed in to my eyes ever so sweet.

You lost me when i knew,
better is what i deserve,
Why couldnt you love,
me love me,
the way he did?

he seen what i was,
longing for,
from the start.

How could you not see,
down this lonely road you,
lost me?

lost was where i was,
then there he was,
you lost me yet i found love,
love i wanted from you that was,
until i felt his tender touch,
felt his lips ever so sweet.

lost in a dark room,
where i never knew i could leave,
then there he was,
a face as bright as any sun,
a heart of pure gold there he was.

lost why could you let me get lost,
in your abuse?
how could you lose me this much?

put me in a dark,
where i had entended to stay,
then there he was,
showed me how a woman,
should be loved,
how she should be treated,
how she should be touched.

he loved this lost soul,
that you had broke down so far,
he took me out of the depressed stage i was in,
showed me its ok to love,

its ok to be loved,
its ok to be scared and jump away,
but to know he never would,
touch me to hurt me,
but only loveing touch.

he showed me how to find me and,
never again lost i will never be.

I've Been

I've Been


If You Could See Me Now
The One Who Said That She'd Rather Roam
The One Who Said She'd Rather Be Alone
If You Could Only See Me Now


If I Could Hold You Now
Just For A Moment, If I Could Really Make You Mine
Just For A While, Turn Back The Hands Of Time
If I Could Only Hold You Now


I've Been Too Long In The Wind
Too Long In The Rain
Taking Any Comfort That I Can
Looking Back And Longing For
The Freedom Of My Chains
And Lying In Your Loving Arms Again


If You Could Hear Me Now
Singing Somewhere Through The Lonely Nights
Dreaming Of The Arms That Held Me Tight
If You Could Only Hear Me Now


I've Been Too Long In The Wind
Too Long In The Rain
Taking Any Comfort That I Can
Looking Back And Longing For
The Freedom Of My Chains
And Lying In Your Loving Arms Again


I've Been Too Long In The Wind
Too Long In The Rain
Taking Any Comfort That I Can
Looking Back And Longing For
The Freedom Of My Chains
And Lying In Your Loving Arms Again


I Can Almost Feel Your Loving Arms Again

Lonely Soul

Lonely Soul


Lost
I'm nowhere to be found.
Dark
You couldn't find me if you tryed.
Quiet
My breathing doesn't make a sound.
Empty
There is no one eles here.
Sarrow
The only vibe strong enough to sence.
I'm damned to be a,
Lonely soul,
In a lonely town,
In a lonely state,
In a lonely country,
In a lonely planet,
In a lonely universe,
For all eternedy.

A Lonely Tear

A Lonely Tear


A lonely tear falls down
A smile turns to frown
Trickles down the cheek
Does not make you weak

A lonely tear escapes
A lifetime of mistakes
A sad and lonely heart
Others broke apart

A lonely tear is dried
So many nights it cried
A friend reached out their hand
And tried to understand

The lonely tear is gone
Life will carry on
With love from a friend
The lonely tears will end

Lonely We

Lonely We


Lonely you; lonely I -
Lonely together, here we lie.
Lonely me; lonely you -
Lonely in love, oh what to do?

Lonely us; lonely we -
Lonely alike, just you and me.
Lonely allies in life mundane -
Lonely always to cry in pain.

At least this mirror helps my plea -
Some lonely cheer in what I see -
To share my pain to some degree:
Another lonely I with me.

Lonely is just one word

Lonely is Just One Word


Lonely is just one word chosen to represent so much
To tell of feelings inside that the senses cannot touch

Lonely can be in the teardrops on a bereaved person’s cheek
Lonely can be in the silence of sorrows too deep to speak

Lonely can haunt a deserted room that Laughter once made proud
Lonely surrounds you when you’re alone or finds you in a crowd

Lonely is heard in echoed footsteps of a departing friend
Lonely penetrates the solitude of nights that will not end

Lonely will not listen to the pleadings of a broken heart
Lonely stays and torments until new Love shatters it apart

A Rose

A Rose

A lovely rose with petals soft
A scent so sweet and light
So beautiful a flower
With colors shining bright.
But something not so savory
About the fragrant rose -
The thorns, so sharp upon the stem,
That sharpen as it grows.
Yet still lovely is the flower
Despite the thorns that prick
Just as life and love are sweet
They too have thorns that stick.
But do not fear to live or love,
Life's not exempt from pain -
So pick a rose, you may get hurt,
But you will also gain!

I Am

I Am

I am ...
A woman
With a full heart, hidden
Somewhere in an empty room ...
With eyes not quite of autumn's gold, and yet
Neither all of summer's green;
I wonder ...
If love is a tale made for children --
A granting of sweet dreams in their innocence --
A honey-coating to help their throats
Choke down the bitter draught ...
I hear ...
A voice that whispers warnings, half-formed,
Bodiless as hope, until I swear I cannot draw
Another breath unless this spectre be unmasked,
His lies mangled ‘neath my righteous tread;
I see ...
A woman, proud, uncompromising,
Diaphanous as air -- less, even, than the tears
That fall in desolation about her weary feet,
Salt poison pooled upon the withered ground ...
I want ...
A measure of quietude, a certain silence,
The echo of alone which heals me of dreaming,
The nothing that stills the wanting,
The numb, the cold that laughs at pain;
I am
A woman,
hidden ...

I pretend ...
That I can live forever -- that Time
Has no puissance but that which I afford Him --
And so, I can wait, I can be happy tomorrow,
Sleep is for the dead; but its ghosts haunt my waking ...
I feel ...
Too much -- too deeply to be directionless,
Too real for imagining, and yet the familiar eyes
Hold nothing of recognition -- only my reflection --
A meeting of shadows in sunlit glass;
I touch ...
The downy wings of hope, in wonder,
In reverence, in need, in hunger;
Alas, it burns my fingers as a flame,
A sacrilege, self-defined ...
I worry ...
That I am alone; that in my longing
I have forsaken all -- but oh, what reward,
What smile divine should light the path to freedom --
And how can I but heed the siren's call?
I cry ...
For having too much, for fear of bursting,
And then, when by the pouring of my soul
I lie, a vessel emptied, I cry again
For what was had, and lost;
I am
A woman,
empty ...

I understand
That life is what you make it,
That sometimes, the coat of many colors
That marks your triumphs brightly, blends only
To loneliest of grey ...
I say
That we are made by life, shaped,
Broken, perhaps -- unmade and voided --
But always, the core of us remains, waiting
With only faith, with trust, to be reborn;
I dream
Of bluest waters, reaching
With unnatural hands toward the faded sky,
Of dolphins that wander in seas without limits,
Carrying me water-breathing past corals and clouds ...
I try ...
To lead by example, knowing
That merely the telling holds no power;
A gift of giving is merely a day, while
A gift of knowing spans forever;
I hope ...
That my darkness holds you gently,
That pain is halved by sharing, that feeling
Wields nothing past the words it summons,
Except that it touch you with only healing ...
I am
A woman,
only.

Rose Of Life

Rose Of Life

I am unfolding gently beneath
your loving touch
Becoming
I let wholeness breath my
petals free
Awareness
Sweet fragrant Spirit touching
senses into life
Wisdom
Giving beauty back to the universe
Knowing
Each petal, sweet miracle of life
Oneness
We are hues of color, yet one
in Spirits blossom

In Time Of

In Times Of


My soul drifts aimlessly in times of hopelessness.
It searches tirelessly for meaning and truth ...
Yet finds no direction.

My heart bleeds quietly in times of loneliness.
It yearns to find warmth and happiness ...
Yet it somehow eludes me.

My eyes seek out visions in times of want.
They gaze endlessly through the blackness that envelops them ...
Yet they cannot see the light.

My ears listen earnestly in times of silence.
They search for familiar sounds to comfort and console ...
Yet they cannot penetrate the darkness that surrounds me.

My arms reach out frantically in times of despair.
They seek strength and compassion to enfold me ...
Yet they find nothing substantial to enwrap.

My mind cries out desperately in times of solitude.
It poses intense questions that demand answers ...
Yet there are none to be found.


***


My hand reaches out earnestly in these times of confusion.
It dials the number of a familiar and calming voice ...
And gratefully, my lifeline to sanity ... remains intact.

in love with you...

In Love with you...

If I'm not in love with you
What is this I'm going through
And if my heart is lying then
What should I believe in
Why do I go crazy
Every time I think about you, baby
Why else do I want you like I do
And if I don't need your touch
Why do I miss you so much
To hold you forever
Give a part of me I thought Id never
Why in every fantasy
Do I feel your arms embracing me
Lovers lost in sweet desire
Why in dreams do I surrender
Lying with you baby
Someone help explain this feeling
Someone tell me
If I'm not in love with you

He's Gone Again

He's gone again


His bags are packed
and sitting by the door
He's showered, shaved
and pressed and dressed

The children are playing
quietly on the floor
I sigh and wish
he didn't have to go

Logs books? Check
Thermos? Check
Munchies? Brush? Pillow?
Check, check, check

The parting ritual
has become so routine
I wonder why
it still hurts so much

Daddy says 'Time to go'
The kids run over
smothering him with
Hugs and Kisses

'Love you dad!'
'Love you daddy!'
Their voices echo
in my mind

I hold him close
and breathe deeply
I don't want to forget
how he feels and smells

I say
Drive safe
Call often
I'll miss you

As my knight
heads off
for the open road...
yet again.

Every Mile Traveled Brings You Closer To Home

Every Mile Traveled Brings You Closer To Home


The miles between us,
Seem ever so long,
But while you're out there,
I have to stay strong.

It seems so hard,
Not having you near,
But I have to remember,
Soon you will be here.

The days seem so long,
The road seems to never end,
The voices on the radio,
Are your only friend.

Into the endless sky,
As the truck roles on,
I know you're thinking of me,
All the time that you're gone.

The kids they miss you,
And can't wait for your return,
To play baseball and games,
From you it's these things they learn.

I can't wait for you to hold me,
Your arms around me so tight,
Just to be close to you,
The feeling of loneliness I have to fight.

I worry about you out there alone,
With the hazards that follow you,
As you travel down the road,
I know you're thinking about them too.

I can't wait for you to come home,
To see your smiling face,
Please remember I love you,
And I'm with you in every place.

I hope you will always know,
That I am so proud to be you wife,
And knowing that trucking,
Helps fulfill your life.

Every mile behind you,
Is one less you have to go,
Cause every mile traveled,
Brings you closer to home.

Truck Driver's Blues

Truck Driver's Blues


Runnin' on down the road,
Not another soul in sight.
Dark thoughts running through my mind…
Mile markers go by slow this time of night.

How are they doing at home?
Is everything getting done?
Will the world come crashing down,
Before I'm done with this run?

I really miss those I have to leave behind
When I put this big truck into the wind and away.
I have to wonder what I'll miss this week…
Diesel runs in my blood, that's all I can say…

Over the mountains and through the woods
I'm gliding in my big heavy sleigh
Dispatcher's got me on another all-nighter,
This load just isn't going my way…

Four wheelers are getting on my last nerve,
Campers and U-Hauls on every hill and curve
They don't care I don't have any spare time,
Hate the double nickels, how far to that state line?

The DOT's doin' checks.
My load is a bit overweight.
My logbook could be better.
I'm genuine commercial bear bait.

I guess that Great God of Trucking is smiling today
Through the scales, over the state line, didn't have to pay.
Blue skies, put on the shades, set the cruise,
Made it through another night of those Truck Driver's Blues.

A Man Of My Heart

A MAN OF MY HEART



Spring comes with the sun
cold winds there are none
"man of my heart" - he's the one.

I gazed at him once
I gazed at him twice
this was the start of paradise.

He gazed back at me
he gazed lovingly
I heard the notes of a symphony.

We gazed at each other
and our daydreams took flight
beautiful wedding of white.

Spring comes with the sun
cold winds there are none
"man of my heart" - you're the one.

Roaring Desire

Roaring Desire

You have sparked my fire
It is roaring hot
My loins are burning
I will forget you not.

You've warmed the heart
That was going astray
With hope renewed
Lust has taken way.

You have the moves
I cannot wait
For our next encounter
To take place.

Hoping it's sooner
Than the last
And each time
Is better than the past.

Craving to delve into your mind
Opening the soul
The best turn on of it's kind
Then the fire takes control.

It is roaring hot
Longing again
For you to hit the spot.

True Love

True Love

True love is a sacred flame
That burns eternally,
And none can dim its special glow
Or change its destiny.
True love speaks in tender tones
And hears with gentle ear,
True love gives with open heart
And true love conquers fear.
True love makes no harsh demands
It neither rules nor binds,
And true love holds with gentle hands
The hearts that it entwines.

An Okay Addiction

An Okay Addiction


This is a crazy addiction
that I just can't control anymore.
Everytime I do something
even if I'm miles away
I'm thinking of you.
A day isn't a day if
I haven't seen you,
talked to you,
had you next to me.
The days that I spend by your side;
the days that you tell me
what I mean to you;
the days that we're so close
that I can feel your warmth.
Those are the best days of my life.
Yeah. This has become an addiction.
It's crazy as hell, I know.
But as wild as it sounds,
I'm okay with it.

Then One And Only You

The One and Only You

You are the only one I find myself dreaming of
You are the only one I could ever see myself love
You are the reason I am here
You are the sunshine in my life that I hold ever so dear
You are my life, my dreams, my desire
You are my world in which my entire
Future resides, and it hurts me inside
When you do the things you do
Because I can't stop loving you

As hard as I try
The only thing I can do is cry
Because there is no one like you
You are the only you

And I can't forget all the good times we've had
All the times that we've shared,
The good and the bad
There is no one like you

You are the only one I can give my heart to
You are my angel, my sun and my sky
I cannot let watch these moments passing us by
You are the only one I can ever love
I am always dreaming and hoping of
The day that you say I love you too
The day I become a part of you

Alone I Wait

Alone I wait

The sun sets on a lonely day
Colors are spreading the perfect way
Leaving our love in the hands of fate
Watching the sunset, alone I wait

If my heart could talk I am sure it would say
How lonely its been since you went away
Leaving our love in the hands of fate
Thinking of you, alone I wait

To feel your heart and share what you love
Is the only thing I can ever ask of
Leaving our love in the hands of fate
Wishing for you, alone I wait

To know your thoughts with just one word
Without the others being heard
Leaving our love in the hands of fate
To hear your voice, alone I wait

Looking at the stars in the twilight sky
Thinking of you as the days pass by
Leaving our love in the hands of fate
Sitting here, alone I wait

Still feeling you yet you are no longer here
Images of your face still fill the air
Leaving our love in the hands of fate
Reaching for you, alone I wait

I close my eyes to ease my mind
Between my love is now only time
Leaving our love in the hands of fate
Alone I dream, alone I wait

Unbreakable Love

Unbreakable love

This night will end the same way
like a thousand ones before
a life only existing
one day closer to deaths door.

A head full of confusion-
a body with little rest-
a life so full of turmoil...
although one richly blessed.

A heart too often broken.
A heart given little praise
One thats tried to be there
in oh so many ways.

The one who is the reason
that you are on this earth.
The one who loves completely-
who loved you before your birth.

The one who'd sell her very soul,
the one who'd take your place.
when the world has turned its back-
you will still see her tierd face.

The words you speak in harshness
bring pain just like a knife.
How can you hurt so easily
the one who gave you life?

Someday she'll be a memory
her hands and heart at rest.
That will be the day you see
how much you once were blessed.

this is a card i got

1. This is you. Hi

2. This is me. Hey

3. This is you and me
separated by many many many miles.

sad, so sad

this is a card to say that 3 sucks.


miss you

Things I would take with me to a desert island

food paper and pen

Greatly Missed

Greatly Missed

A Fathers touch, A Daddy's kiss,
A grieving Daughter, You're greatly missed.

An empty house, An empty chair,
A fathers love, No longer there.

A broken heart, Tear filled eye,
Another soul to fill the sky.

Many memories in my mind,
Some I laugh, Some I cry.

The times we shared, The laughs we had,
Things I miss when I think of you Dad.

Realizing that's all I have to hold on too,
Only memories, Of what once was you.

Missing your laugh, I will never again hear.
That is the reality that fills me with so much fear.

No more smile on your face,
No more warmth of your embrace.

The last hug, The last kiss,
The last "goodbye" leaves me with one last wish...

To have you Dad, here today,
Never to leave your Daughter this way.

A Father's touch, A Daddy's kiss,
A grieving Daughter, YOU'RE GREATLY MISSED!

God Was Your Closest Friend

God Was Your Closest Friend

I knew you were hurting although you wouldn’t cry,
And could see you were suffering, see the pain in your eye
I wanted to comfort you, to hold you, be with you that day,
You looked so helpless and frail while in bed you did lay.

I watched as you shivered from a new pain,
And wondered how I might have handled the same.
I wanted to scream, to shout, and to yell,
You said you were fine although your skin was so pale.

I knew in my heart your time was near end,
And wished I could take you, your body to mend.
I knew that soon God would be your closest friend,
You told me many times that’s how it would end.

I stood there watching as each breath came slow,
And fought to find courage, my emotions were low.
I promised you when the time came that I’d not cry,
You never saw my eyes wet, always they were dry.

I held your hand as I silently said goodbye,
And knew in my heart that soon you would die.
I stroked your forehead and said how I loved you,
You nodded and smiled and I knew that you knew.

I no longer care, my tears I can’t hide,
And as I stood there waiting for death by your side.
I knew then that God was your closest friend,
You had told me many times that’s how it would end.

My Heart Soars On Your Love

My Heart Soars On Your Love




I talk
I sing
I laugh
I smile

I hear your call
I know the sound
My heart jumps
When you're around

Each day I yearn for you more and more
Each night my dreams you fill
One day I know the time will come
When we share our lives on top of that hill

Until that day comes to be
Take my heart and guard it with yours
Keep it safe and away from harm
And on the strength of your love it soars!

Grounded Ship, Broken Wings

Grounded Ship, Broken Wing



You come to me
Without a dream?
No vision of
What to do with me!
No clear idea
Of what you want from me.

I bring my plans
They do not fit
Unveil my dreams
They’re too much for you
My fantasies
You can’t endure.

This party then
Is a grounded ship
And a broken wing
Knees out of joint
The pain is such
I can’t endure.

My Heart Cries

My Heart Cries





My heart cries, but you don’t hear it.

My heart breaks, but you don’t feel it.

My body longs to feel your arms around me.

My lips long to feel your kisses.

My ears long to hear you say I love you.

My eyes long to see your smile and eyes twinkle.

My life longs to have you in it.

My world longs to have you make it complete.

My body longs to feel you lie next to it.

My love longs to have you return it.

My heart will cry, my heart will break.

My body will go limp, my lips will only speak.

My ears will miss your words, my eyes will shed tears.

My life will be so lonely, my world will be so empty.

My love will go unreturned.

My heart aches as my life is turned inside out.

My mind will never forget, my heart will never let go.

I have loved you since the day I met you

But now my heart cries, and you don’t hear it.

If I Told You...

If I Told You...


If I told you I loved you,
would you push me away?
Or would you let me fall into your arms,
where, forever, I would stay?

If I told you I needed you,
would you feel the same?
Could you let me need you everyday,
forever and eternally?

If I told you I hated you,
would you believe the words I say?
Would you turn your back on me
and leave me alone to pray?

If I told you I was crying,
would you be right by my side,
to put your arms around my shoulders
until the feelings pass me by?

If I told you everything,
could you still feel the same?
Now that you know exactly who I am,
would you still be mine to claim?

If I told you...

Know This

know this


Know that i am with you
In all you say and do
Know that i am by your side
And that my love is true

Know that you are in my thoughts
But mostly in my heart
Know that you're the one for me
I knew it from the start

Know that sometimes we fall short
It doesn't change a thing
Know i really love you
And that you wear my ring

Know that i am full of joy
Because you're in my life
Know we'll have true happiness


Know that God is with us
As we journey down the road
He'll forever be beside us
to help us bear the load

Know that you have brought me peace
Like i have never known
Know you are my everything
My heart is not alone

Know my heart beats faster
whenever you are near
Know our love will grow and grow
With every passing year

Know you are the greatest gift
That God could ever give
Know that i will cherish you
Every day i live

Know that i am waiting
To share my life with you
Know that i will do my best
To make our dreams come true

She Never Lets It Go To Her Heart

Corrupted Love

Corrupted Love

A warm sensation fills my body
My heart races with every touch
The softness of your voice soothes
My soul
As I lay there hoping the moment
Will never end
Calling out for you
Praying that you'll never let me go
The sensation so strong
I can no longer feel my body
Slowly I fade in and out of reality
In an instant the warm sensation
Fades away
My heart empty
My soul torn apart
Lying there; wondering where I went
Wrong
Calling out for you, only to find
there is no answer
My mind invaded with thoughts
So cruel and unrefined
The sensation of fear of what's to come
Slowly the reality over powering
The lust and fantasy
Leaving me empty
Confused on how to think or feel
The loneliness I feel
So wretched and compelled
Betrayal to myself
Revealing the terrors of my love

Seek not My Heart

Seek Not My Heart

Oh gentle winds 'neath moonlit skies,
Do not you hear my heartfelt cries?

Below the branches, here about,
Do not you sense my fear and doubt?
Side glistening rivers, sparkling streams,
Do not you hear my woeful screams?

Upon the meadows, touched with dew,
Do not you see my hearts a'skew?
Beneath the thousand twinkling stars,
Do not you feel my jagged scars?

Seek not my mournful heart kind breeze,
For you'll not find it 'mongst these trees.

It's scattered 'cross the moonlit skies,
Accompanied by heartfelt sighs.
It's drifting o're the gentle rain,
A symbol of my silent pain.

It's buried 'neath the meadow fair,
Conjoined with all the sorrow there.
It's lost among the stars this night,
Too far to ease my quiet fright.

No gentle winds, seek not my heart,
For simply ... it has torn apart.

I Kn0w h0w he feels

cathy's cl0wn

F0rever l0ve

Every time i hear your name

What I am afraid of

iam afraid of snakes and spiders. all so afraid of being al0ne think we are all afraid 0f that th0

Passion's Fames

Passion's Flames

A touch, soft and tender.
A whisper, full of desire
A gasp of sweet surrender
As passion fuels the fire

No words spoken between them
No promises to be kept
No lies being told tonight
No looking back - no regrets

Longing to hold each other
Such precious little time
Both vowed to another
Being lonely their only crime

Tomorrow bringing sorrow
A brief moment of shame
With the memory of this one night
A release from passion's flames

Days Gone bye

Days Gone bye

we sit watch,
wait for the days to come and go.
some times there fast,
sometimes they are slow.


in days gone bye we have loved and lost,
the days linger and the nights so very long,
in this broken heart of days gone bye.

in many days gone bye we have cryed loved and,
hated together, in days gone bye.

we use to laugh and play now we look the other way.
in days gone bye for ever we will stay.

what happen where did we go wrong,
what i wouldnt give to have the days,
gone bye back,
the day of yesterday,
where love was strong and new,
the 2 hearts beating as one,
what i wouldnt give to have,
the day of yesterday back

up date abour me goin to the hospital

whent to the hospital i have 2 absesist under each arm and one on my thigh so 5 all togetherb. my sholder is strin or dislocated they put me on 2 diffrent kinds on antibotics some pain meds and something to relax some thing so if i take all my meds should be fine in 10 days so thats a good thing.


love, sis

Blue jeans and a rosary (kid rock)

All My Life I've Been Searchin'
All My Life I've Been Uncertain
I Been Abandoned And Left Alone
At Fifteen I Had To Leave Home
The Black Sheep, The Bad Seed



At A Roadside Bar In Tennessee
I Met An Angel To Rescue Me
She Rescued Me
She Wore Blue Jeans

And A Rosary
Believed In God And Believed In Me
All Her Friends

Think She's A Little Crazy
She Wears A Smile, Heart On Her Sleeve
Don't Give A Damn What The World Thinks Of Me
She Tells Me It's All Good
She's Happy With A Bad Seed


Happy To Be Misunderstood

Two Packs And A Pint A Day
To Hide The Shame
And Wash Away The Pain
Aww The Pain
Every Road Was A Dead-end Street
Runnin' From The Law
And Runnin' On Empty
You Couldn't Shake The Marks That Were Left On Me

At A Roadside Bar In Tennessee
I Met An Angel To Rescue Me
She Rescued Me

She Wore Blue Jeans And A Rosary
Believed In God And Believed In Me
All Her Friends Think She's A Little Crazy
She Wears A Smile, Heart On Her Sleeve
Don't Give A Damn What The World Thinks Of Me
She Tells Me It's All Good
She's Happy With A Bad Seed
Happy To Be Misunderstood

[repeat]

Misunderstood
Misunderstood

Forever Young

Forever Young


Trapped in the glorious years
within the memory of belief, lost of all grief.
Take the reasons,
which once seemed so clear,
but never mind, you have nothing to fear.
For you my fried will be, forever young,
Forever in the heart of memories.

Lost in the glory of all time,
the wisdom was there within that smile,
You see you could have told us,
there within lies the mystery.

So shed a smile, and grin a tear,
For you my friend, will be,
Forever young, Forever young.
Forever in the heart of memory,
We see not through or misery.
Forever young, forever young.
There's a new angel tonight.

In My Mind

In My Mind

Somewhere in my dreams tonight
I'll see you standing there
You look at me with a smile
"Life isn't always fair"

You say you were chosen for his garden
His preciously hand picked bouquet
"God really needed me,
That's why I couldn't stay"

It's said to be that angels
Are sent from above
I've always had my angel
My father - whose heart was filled with love

Wherever the ocean meets the sky
There will be memories of you and I
When I look up at that sky so blue
All I see are visions of you

"While there's a heart in me, you'll be a part of me."

to all my friends

i want to say thankk u all for the comments and iam doing good haveing a little bit of trouble sleeping but that is nothing new. but iam happer then i have been in a long time iam working on getingg me and the kids my own place and every thing. thats cool never had to do this lot of work but fun. well got to get running love yall.

all my friends read up date

iam out and doing good now. little shook up but ok. things are going to get better from here. iam safe

please read all my friends

yall change of plans iam leaveing tomrrow after noon some time. i will be 0n when i can will miss yall very much.

And You still wonder

And You Still Wonder

our eyes meet,
magnetic poetic,
your lips touch mine,
erotic electric,
arms encircle me,
euphoric idyllic,
together we,
synchronic rhythmic.

and you still wonder -
do I love you?

a query you should
never have to voice,
those words remaining within,
answered by tenderness of touch,
by sweet emotion,
by thoughts mirrored
in chestnut irises,
that brush softly across you,
painting images deep
within memory,
while this soul speaks to yours,
saying all the words
ever needing to be said.

A Music Note

A Music Note

A single music note
Small and simple
Easy to place
Hard to hold

Brought to existence for a measly moment
Exhaled into a intricate form
How elegantly it dances through my thoughts
Plays deep into my heart

Taps into a web of emotions
Mesmerizes me
Captivates my body
Leaves me spellbound

And then weakens
And dies young and beautiful
In it's silent grave

Living and dying a thousand times
For my pleasure and whim
Controlled by confident hands
And expert visions

Powerful
Useful
Eternal
Meaningful

A single music note'

Petals 0f The White rose

Petals Of The White Rose

Dreaming by the morning moon
protected in a tight cocoon
so pale in the gloom
Petals of the white rose

Stretching at the sun light smiles
reflecting on its dew drop tiles
a glow that's seen for miles
The waking of the white rose

Delicate as the summer breeze
pearly white of royal genes
a queen within the garden green
the blooming of the white rose

Soft as love you give it when
hearts should touch a frail friend
before the gift of life might end
The message of the white rose

As we cry these tender woes
and say goodbye to them we know
they'll fly wherever spirits go
On petals of a soft white rose.

Fantasy

Fantasy

All my life I had built up a fantasy
of the perfect man.
Countless romance stories and fables
helped make that fantasy a reality in my mind.
Searching for that fantasy lead to many
disappointments.
Reality made it clear that there was no such man.
And as the years went by, the fantasy started
to fade away - until I met you.
I had almost given up on the fantasy until
my fantasy became reality,
that reality became you.

All My Friends Read please

yall iam going to be moveing soon and thats good and and bad news yes iam geting out of this hell i have been liveing in for so long.if yall want to get a hold of me ask me for my email. i will get on as much as i can and check in with every one i hope that its not to long but i cant promise any thing for a change iam going to get to be happy with my kids and nooooot worry about him hurting me n0 m0re iam happy and sad ab0ut this happy because i d0nt g0t t0 put up with his shit n0 m0re. sad because i will be leaveing yall and i d0nt kn0w f0r h0w l0ng but i w0nt f0r get any 0f y0u and i will be back f0r sure yall cant get rid 0f me this easy l0l. l0ve each and every 0ne 0f y0u s0 much and want t0 thank every 0ne 0f yall f0r all ways being here f0r me and sh0wing me h0w much yall care. this c0uld happen in the next week 0r s0 0r might wait until sch00l g0s 0ut s0 i d0nt have t0 change sch00ls f0r my kid. but i wanted t0 give every 0ne a heads up bef0r this happend and didnt want it t0 be a sh0rt n0itce. 0nce i get 0ut 0f here i will be fine f0r 0nce in my life i will be fine and be happy and n0t in pain in my life. this is g0ing t0 be g00d f0r me and f0r all 0f y0u saying get the hell 0ut 0f there well n0w iam and yall w0nt have t0 w0rry as much any m0re. iam s0 ab0ut this and s0 sad at the same time becuase iam n0t g0ing t0 have a way t0 get a h0ld 0f any 0ne f0r a wile. this sucks yes but where iam g0ing yall w0nt have t0 w0rry ab0ut him hurting me 0r just ab0ut killing me any m0re because he get sh00t my friends family isnt g0ing t0 mess with him 0r stand f0r him messing with me. they seen the bruses that i ttryed t0 hide f0r s0 l0ng and n0w iam g0ing 0ut 0f here even if they have t0 carry me 0ut 0f here and i mean they will tie me up if they have t0 l0l thats funny. but its the truth i need t0 get 0ut 0f here. well h0pe yall read this. l0ve yall.

l0ve,
sis

I Just Want To Tell You

I Just Want to Tell You

Dear You,

I just want to tell you,
I love you with all my heart.
I wish for us to be together,
Never shall we be apart.

I just want to tell you,
You put the smile on my face.
I want to be by your side,
I don't want to be any other place.

I just want to tell you,
You mean so much to me.
I see you as nothing less than the world,
And that I want you to see.

I just want to tell you,
I wouldn't be able to live without you.
Without the comfort you give,
There's nothing I could do.

I just want to tell you,
I thank you for being there.
You've always given me a shoulder to lean on,
And you always care.

I just want to tell you,
I think of you every moment of the day.
And how much I love you,
Words could never even say.

I just want to tell you,
I love you with all my heart.
I wish for us to be together,
Never shall we be apart.

Amazing

Amazing





It's Amazing...
How one person can change your life
How a smile from you can erase everything bad
How life seems less scary when you're holding my hand.

It's Phenomenal...
How fate brings two strangers together
How I survived before I knew you
How, whenever I'm with you it's like a great new adventure.

It's Beautiful...
How love can be so unconditional
How learning about you is like reading my favorite story.
How loving you is so easy.

And I'm so thankful...
That I'm able to know this
Amazing
Phenomenal
Beautiful person
And because...
I LOVE YOU

A Little Thing Called Love

A Little Thing Called Love


Love is a many splendored thing, they say,
And I believe it when you looked my way,
Out of the blue, things seemed to happen
By chance or destiny, is the question.

Living my life so long, without knowing your existence,
Then came a day we felt each others presence,
Guess what's meant to be will always find a way,
Love creeps into hearts and decides to stay.

A love so exquisite, yet so intricate,
In a world of only "you and I"
A love we can't even demonstrate,
A secret we have to keep for life.

I love you, honey, and its from my heart,
I hope you know that youre no beggar from the start,
You make me fly without wings,
You make my heart wants to sing.

Every moment I spent with you,
Is every one of my dreams coming true,
More than words, I want to show you how I feel,
Someday, some place, sometime, I will.

Love is a journey for two,
Step by step, me and you,
The future we can't see,
Let love lead the way for you and me.

I STILL CAN'T SAY I HATE YOU

I can't stand the sight of you
Yet I still can't say I hate you
I feel sorry for your existence
Such a sad and miserable man
You can't control your anger
You let it out on anything you can


I have never done a thing
To make you yell at me
But you do it anyway,
And you do it consciously


So lonely you are
Pathetic is the way I see it
You pushed everyone away
Gave everyone shit


And now that you’re in need
You have no friend to lend a hand
You will die a lonely fool
Your identity forgotten,
As if sunken into sand

With no one willing to look for it
Or even remember you
You’re already dead to me
You’ve been dead, it’s nothing new


But why would one
Want to hurt himself this way
Living years full
Of the same lonely day

Never searching for light
Or a reason to be
Just swimming in your own ignorance
Living miserably

Abusive Men: Top 10 SIGNS OF AN ABUSIVE MAN

Abusive Men: Top 10 Signs of an Abusive Man

Abusive men are often survivors of abuse themselves. Signs of an abusive man can range from emotional, verbal, physical, or sexual abuse. Frequently an emotionally abusive man is also a verbally abusive man or a combination of all abuse types. A sign of an abusive man can usually be found after a few dates if you pay attention, ask a lot of questions and do some investigating into his past.



Abusive relationships are characterized by control games, violence, jealousy and withholding s~z and emotional contact. An emotionally abusive man is harder to pin-point and a skilled, abusive man can easily make you think you aren�t good enough or that everything is your fault. It is just as difficult to recover from emotional abuse as it is from physical abuse. Emotional abuse causes low self-esteem and depression. An abusive man may tell you he loves you or that he will change, so you won�t leave. However, the more times you take him back, the more control he will gain. Empty promises become the norm. Make sure you pay attention to his actions and not merely his words. As the old saying goes, �actions speak louder than words.� Abusive relationships are never abusive in the beginning. If they were, women would dump the abusive men immediately in search of a good man.

According to the American Psychological Association Force on Violence and Family, over 4 million American women experience a serious assault by a partner each year! Who can forget when heavy-weight champ Mike Tyson was convicted of raping Desiree Washington and sentenced to six years in prison. Tyson served three years before being released on parole. Thereafter, he married Robin Givens but they divorced on Valentine�s Day only a year later because Givens claimed Tyson abused her. Abusive behavior touches all ranges of society.

We have broken down the top 10 signs of an abusive man. If your partner exhibits one or more of these signs, it may be time to reevaluate your relationship and seek help or get out.

1. Jealousy & Possessiveness � Becomes jealous over your family, friends, co-workers. Tries to isolate you. Views his woman and children as his property instead of as unique individuals. Accuses you of cheating or flirting with other men without cause. Always asks where you�ve been and with whom in an accusatory manner.

2. Control � He is overly demanding of your time and must be the center of your attention. He controls finances, the car, and the activities you partake in. Becomes angry if woman begins showing signs of independence or strength.

3. Superiority � He is always right, has to win or be in charge. He always justifies his actions so he can be �right� by blaming you or others. A verbally abusive man will talk down to you or call you names in order to make himself feel better. The goal of an abusive man is to make you feel weak so they can feel powerful. Abusers are frequently insecure and this power makes them feel better about themselves.

4. Manipulates � Tells you you�re crazy or stupid so the blame is turned on you. Tries to make you think that it�s your fault he is abusive. Says he can�t help being abusive so you feel sorry for him and you keep trying to �help� him. Tells others you are unstable.

5. Mood Swings � His mood switches from aggressive and abusive to apologetic and loving after the abuse has occurred.

6. Actions don�t match words � He breaks promises, says he loves you and then abuses you.

7. Punishes you � An emotionally abusive man may withhold s~^, emotional intimacy, or plays the �silent game� as punishment when he doesn�t get his way. He verbally abuses you by frequently criticizing you.

8. Unwilling to seek help � An abusive man doesn�t think there is anything wrong with him so why should he seek help? Does not acknowledge his faults or blames it on his childhood or outside circumstances.

9. Disrespects women � Shows no respect towards his mother, sisters, or any women in his life. Thinks women are stupid and worthless.

10. Has a history of abusing women and/or animals or was abused himself � Batterers repeat their patterns and seek out women who are submissive and can be controlled. Abusive behavior can be a generational dysfunction and abused men have a great chance of becoming abusers. Men who abuse animals are much more likely to abuse women also.

If you continue to stay in an abusive relationship because you think he will change and start treating you well, think again. An abusive man does not change without long-term therapy. Group counseling sessions are particularly helpful in helping abusive men recognize their abusive patterns. Type A personality types seem to be more prone to abusive behavior due to their aggressive nature. Drugs and alcohol can create or further escalate an abusive relationship. Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous are excellent programs for an addict. The abuser�s partner should also seek help for their codependent behavior at Codependents Anonymous.

If the abusive man is not willing to seek help, then you must take action by protecting yourself and any children involved by leaving. By staying in an abusive relationship you are condoning it. If you are scared you won�t be able to survive because of finances, pick up the phone book and start calling shelters. Try calling family, friends and associates and ask them if they can help or know of ways to help. Once you leave, the abuser may cry and beg for forgiveness but don�t go back until you have spoken to his counselor and he has completed long-term therapy successfully. Be prepared for the abuse to increase after you leave because the abuser has lost control. The Bureau of Justice Statistics states that on the average, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends every day so please be careful. If you partner is not willing to seek

The Phone Call

The Phone Call

The call that comes in darkest sleep,
Awakens with a fright;
For 2 am, the silence breaks
The peaceful calm of night.

When only moments earlier,
I dreamt of visions fair;
Of light and love and happiness;
... Till ringing filled the air.

It beckoned me from deepest sleep,
And drew me from my daze;
I shook my head to clear my mind,
Find focus through this haze.

"How long has this been ringing?"
As I reach to find the light;
I steal a glance toward the clock,
And now my heart takes flight!

'Tis many hours before the dawn,
Yet all should be in bed;
My loved ones faces fill the night;
... My heart is filled with dread.

I struggle for composure as
I reach to grab the phone;
My stomach churns, my heart contracts;
"Are all my kids at home?"

I stumble as I grasp the handle,
Stifle silent screams;
"Oh God ... please let this phone call
Be a part of just a dream!"

My heart is racing, mind's a whirl,
Receiver's made of lead;
"Oh, how can this be happening!"
"Who's on the other end?!"

Just seconds pass and yet I find
It's been eternity;
I raise the phone to panicked ear;
"Oh please ... don't be for me!"

Power Of Pain

Power Of Pain

I sat alone another day.
The world was moving all around me,
but it seemed as if my life was in a standstill.
The doctors say its anxiety.
Everyone thinks anxiety means nervousness or fear,
but it is deeper than that.
Anxiety holds you prisoner.
You can't leave your house.

Ding
Dy~#
Ding
Dxz%

The doorbell rings but I can't answer.
There is too much fear inside.
You can't answer the phone.

Ring
Ring
Ring

"Telephone for you!" my family yells. I
tell them to say that I will call back, but I won't.
You can't eat.

Chomp
Bite
Chew

No, not me. The anxiety
even controls that. All the pain rushes back up with
every little thing I eat.
You can't go out.

Step
Step
Step

Everyone walking around me, but I can't move, the
apprehension paralyzes me.
Everyone says, "Be brave. You can do it. You'll make it out of this."
But sometimes I wonder if I will.
I try to combat it all, but if I attempt to do anything,
it all starts over again.

Thump
Thump
Thump

My heart beats faster and faster.
I can feel it in my chest.

Beads of sweat
Racing
Falling
Running down my forehead.
All the thoughts swarm in my brain.
The fear picks up.
It is unbearable.
I'm so frightened, but I don't know what of.
The paranoia sweeps over my body like a giant wave.
Every day I have to fight what seems to be a losing battle.
But then . . . I look outside.
I see the colors.
I see the life.
I see spirit.
I know I can do this.

Hope
Pray
Win

He Calls To Me

He Calls To Me

He calls to me across the miles
Night winds carry his whispers
They float on the breeze and through my windows
Falling gently upon my ears
- Hush -
I hear him now.

He calls to me from the heavens
Glittering stars cannot compare to the sparkle of his eyes
When he looks at me, I am consumed by the fire
I see him now.

He calls to me through my dreams
Dancing together in the shadows of my sleep
Where we laugh and love once again
I am in his arms
I feel him now.

He calls to me
Every moment of every day
Distance couldn't keep us apart
When destiny drew us together
I'll hold him for eternity
As long as he keeps calling.

This Kiss

This Kiss

we stood in the doorway
his hands on my waist
the clock tickling loudly
almost in haste

he moved in closer
his eyes locked in mine
I long for his kiss
For just a moment in time

his lips meet mine
and I feel the sensation
no longer must I wait
to give into the sweet temptation

my knees go weak
my palms become sweaty
I go back to that place
I have been so many times already

the world disappears
all that's left is him and I
and as we pull away
I feel as though I could fly

As I Sit Here IN My Room

As I Sit Here In My Room





As I sit here in my room
A thousand miles away
There is something I should tell you
Some words I've got to say

I love you more than anything
I've told you this before
You are a special part of me
An essence at my core

Your smile and touch excite me
Like nothing ever has
Your warmth and humor lift me
Like a masterpiece of jazz

We're partners and we're soulmates
This I know is true
We've been there for each other
When we're sad and when we're blue

You're such a terrific person
The one that's right for me
My feelings for you are priceless
And I got them all for free

I'm so grateful to have had you
Share your life with me
Your love has made me better
Than I ever thought I'd be

Your smile, your touch, and your support...
I can never get enough
Those things give me strength some days
When life becomes too tough

I'll never succeed in telling you
In notes or poems or songs
But my heart is yours forever
And that's right where it belongs