venting

most of yall know me as out going can talk about any thing with. i laugh and have a good time no matter what the hell my day brings me. alot of people love that about me then there is people that hate me for it. i dont care either way because u loveing me or hateing me isnt going to make me or brake me. alot of you think if you send me a shity message that i wont send one back you are f%#^x~* crazy. iam not going to play kid games with none of you. so if you dont like me dont fw&^~x% talk to me it will make your life and mine run so much better trust me when i say that. i dont get along with alot of people because i dont trust them. the ones i do trust know who they are. the rest of you can go f*@^ off for all i care. if i make a chat room dont come in and try to get fresh with some one because most likely iam going to laugh at you any ways. im not a bx@^% unless i got to be. then if iam what did u do to make me be that way? my life is hell enugh with out haveing to come on here and deal with shit that people dont know nothing about. if you dont know me and want to know me ask me not any body else i hate that shit. 1 no one is going to know me more then i know my self i dont think. so why ask any one else but me? dont talk about me behind my back say it to my face dont be some scared little b%&*x that can say shit behind my back. i will tell you to your face so i would want the same thing. most of the time when people talk behind some ones back its all a bounch of fake shit any ways. witch i have came to relize that a bounch of people are fake here. be you friend then stab you in the f^~&z~@ back. well if you are a friend of mine i will not talk about you behind your back i will say it to your face. i will not lie to you because why lie when the truth all ways comes out any ways. iam real iam not like most fake us people on wire. so if u talk to me and you dont want no one to know no one will know got it get it. i dont like games i never have so if u are going to try to play games with me dont start because i will fzx% your world up when it comes to games. i have seen them all played and i know how they are played. if you are going to be a friend of mine be real or dont talk to me at all. dont lie to me i hate for some one to lie to me. i dont lie to you you dont lie to me. i dont know why people think that lieing will get you any where. alot of you know me as a lette i dont hide that. if you dont like the life stly i that i live 9 times out of 10 you dont know nothing about it or dont want to take the time to know. my life is mine to live. iam down with clowns dont dis something that u know nothing about. yall think that its ok to be a juggalo but a juggalette yall give a hard time. well im telling you now if you give me a hard time i will give you one right back. i dont care to cuss some one out i will let you know how i feel. dont try to fake your way threw and know the life of the fam because we can tell the real from the fake. so give up the fake ass shit.

how many people on wire can be real people? or be real with there selfs? i know a few. i talk to them and i know they are reall. then i know when u are fake trust me on that. i played a fake for way to long. i hid who i was changed my name because of all the griff i was geting well i changed my name back and if you dont like it f^~& it. iam who iam. iam not going to be some one that iam not sorry just cant be. if you dont like that iam a juggalette dont think i care. because i dont.

Distant

Distant



I can't see you
I can't smell you
I can't touch you
And I can't feel you
But, somehow, I know you're there.

A distance, so brutally far
A feeling, so uncomfortably near
It fills me with want and desire
And I realize- I must not conspire.

I cannot think and can't imagine
I fear if I do it will make me closer
While you remain out of reach
And probably with someone else...
I know I could be her... if I was there.

I can't see you
I can't smell you
I can't touch you
And I can't feel you
But, somehow, I know you're there.

I long to hear your voice.
In the past it filled me with exhilaration
And then left me in despair.
Fill my soul with your proper tone
And then jerk it away, as we say, "So long".

I want to know feelings I never felt before
But will I ever experience your gentle touch?
Or your warm breath against my neck,
As you solemnly whisper, "I love you, I need you."

But.............

I can't see you
I can't smell you
I can't touch you
And I can't taste you
But, somehow, I feel I could.

Why does my heart beat so rapidly
At one little thought of you?
Why do I need for you to touch me, hold me
Press your sweet, warm body to mine?
Oh, give me pleaures I could never know....

I want you to teach me the wonders
I've never known and take me to levels
Never seen before by my quivering soul.
Suck me in, let me drown.....
It would be like a baptism...... my heart with yours.

I can't see you
I can't smell you
I can imagine
And I can't touch you.
Somehow I feel we're beyond that.

We are two- united from the start
Meant to teach, to love, to comfort, and caress.
I could never let go of you
Even though there is nothing to grasp.

Even if it fades over time
It could never fade completely
And, one day, when I do see you.....
I'll feel it's you, I'll know it's you
The love, pain, worries, and curiosity
Will run through me once again.

Why Me, Why You

Why Me, Why You



why is it when I look in your eyes,
I see the love burning inside me.
why is it when you hug me,
the world melts with us.

why is it when you leave,
I can't find myself.
why is it when you say bye,
it seems like forever.

why is it when the phone rings,
I answer just to hear if it's your voice.
why is it when you don't call,
I wonder what you are doing.

why is it that I can't breath,
whenever I think about you.
why is it that I can't speak,
whenever I talk about you.

why is it when I'm around you,
you want to walk away.
why is it when I hug you,
you don't feel the same.

why is it when you look into my eyes,
you just see a girl looking back at you.
why is it when you leave,
you leave to be with her.

why is it when you say bye,
you say hello to her.
why is it when my phone rings,
it's not you.

why is it when I call you,
you don't answer.
why is it when I ask what you think about me,
you say that I'm just cool.

why me, why you,
I don't know yet but I'm hoping you can find
the love I have for you and hope one day that love would turn into something more than what meets the eye.

Secret Admirer

Secret Admirer



I've never been the type to say what I feel
So basically I keep everything inside
And with you it was no different
I want to tell you, believe me I've tried

But there's part of me that just can't take that chance
So I doubt that you'll ever know
Which may be fine with you, but it's hurting me
I choose not to show it though

I guess I'm your secret admirer
That name seems to fit just right
I don't know what I like about you
But you're on my mind, day and night

Maybe it's the way you look
So sexy I can't get enough
Or how you make me feel when you come around
I instantly forget all other stuff

Maybe it's the way you say my name
Or maybe it's the way you smile
Then again it might just be everything
Getting to know you seems worth my while

But I guess I'll never know what it is
My true feelings I could never reveal to you
I'll just admire you from a distance
I'm not sure what else there is to do

Feelings For You

Feelings For You


Sometimes I wonder how I feel about you,
Scared of these feelings because it’s still new
I catch myself thinking of the best way to share,
Hoping you’ll return my confession showing you care
And then I catch myself again… and drag my thoughts back to reality
I am back at square one, does this just happen to me?
I swear I would never do this
But this is YOU, and you aren’t like anyone I have met
How much longer do I have to write, can I tell you yet?
When I come back from my thoughts I feel more secure
But then I sleep… and the dreams of you occur

The dreams I have of you are so vivid and clear
I feel TRUE happiness inside and that there is nothing to fear
People say dreams have underlying meanings and not to ignore them
I say we both know what they mean and now I want you to hear
Hear what I am about to say to you, feel it with my body, see it in my face
Hear it in my words and tone when we converse

lol ok women out there read this shit!!!!!!!!

Dating 101: Is He Mr. Right?
5 essential traits to look for

By dating expert Lisa Steadman

Think your Mr. Next has the potential to be Mr. Right? Before you leap without looking, take an honest inventory. See how many of the following five essential traits he possesses.
Dating Trait #1: He listens to you
The best way to know if Mr. Next is interested in (and worthyof) being a candidate for Mr. Right? He listens to you. You'll know he's listening when he shows genuine concern, consistently remembers things you've told him (your birthday, favorite food, best friend's name, etc.), and offers emotional support in honest and thoughtful ways.
Dating Trait #2: He connects with you easily
We've all been in those relationships that take W-O-R-K (and suck the life force out of us in the process). When a relationship works on its own, it feels effortless, easy, and fluid. You don't have to force anything, forgive anyone, or turn a blind eye to red flags or gut-twisters. Instead, you communicate and collaborate with comfort, compatibility, and undeniable chemistry. If and when you experience this kind of interaction, you are on to something really special.
Dating Trait #3: He wants the real you
So often, women feel the need to sacrifice some part of themselves to make a relationship work. In the right relationship, there's no need. You don't have to hide, tone down, or apologize for any aspect of you or your fabulous life. With the right partner, you're not only able to be yourself, but you're better able to be the best version of your most authentic self -- no compromises needed.
Dating Trait #4: He's trustworthy
A relationship without trust is doomed from the start.
A relationship without trust is doomed from the start. But a relationship with abundant trust? A fabulous foundation for real and lasting love! Built over time, trust is based on the simple belief system that your partner has your best interests at heart and will never intentionally hurt you (and vice versa). If and when you discover that Mr. Next is 100 percent trustworthy, you'll have no trouble giving your heart to him. In return, he'll most likely give you his heart and pave the way for a lasting, loving relationship to unfold.
Dating Trait #5: He enriches your life
In the wrong relationship, your partner tears you to emotional shreds, brings you down, and in general drains your energy. In the right relationship, he enriches your life, inspires you to be your best self, and brings a sense of peace and possibility to you. You'll know Mr. Next is enriching your life if and when he encourages and supports you professionally, personally, and spiritually. And when he does, he may just be Mr. Right!
Does your Mr. Next possess all five qualities? If so, congratulations! You have done your homework, chosen wisely, and are now well positioned for relationship success.
If not, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get back into the dating pool with a clearer understanding of who you want to date. Remember, finding your life partner isn't always easy, but by being clear, honoring yourself, and acting accordingly, you'll cut down on wasted time with Mr. Wrong and Mr. Next, and ultimately make room for Mr. Right.

I Still Feel

I can still remember,
I will always remember,
Just laying there,
In the moonlit air,
I can still feel,
The pressure of your fingertips,
Your hands on my hips,
I can still hear,
Your soft voice,
Every word said with poise,
I can still taste,
The flavor of your kiss,
I was in such bliss,
I can still remember,
I will always remember.



I Will Never Forget You
You must have your reasons
For doing the things you do
By being silent and reclusive
Where I could not reach you
I kept trying to keep in touch
What was I supposed to do
As this year was almost over
I'm longing to hear from you
Remembering all we shared
Recollecting as I so often do
Yet I wonder if you are aware
How much I am missing you
While I shall continue to write
I keep hoping you would too
But you do not need to doubt
I know I will never forget you

From the Moment

From the Moment



From the moment I looked into your eyes,

I knew you were the one,



The one I would spend the rest of my life with,

until my time was done.



From the moment I looked into your eyes,

I knew you were my soul mate,



The soul mate I waited forever for,

but didn't believe in fate.



From the moment I looked into your eyes,

I knew my life was about to change,



The change I knew I needed,

but always felt my life was in a cage.



From the moment I looked into your eyes,

I knew I would be happy forever,



The happiness I have waited so long to have,

but didnt believed in happily ever after.

You Taught Me How to Laugh Again

You Taught Me How to Laugh Again



You taught me how to laugh again

And gave me back my smile,

Restored my faith in people when

Everyone seemed vile.



You were as if the sun came up

Upon my bitter night

And bade the blackness rustle up

Some joyful morning light.

And inexplicably my heart

Rose up and twirled me round,



So sudden in its expert art

I scarcely touched the ground.

With you I am still filled with light

And all my feelings dance.



You are my song, my wings, my flight,

My truth and my romance.

How do You Know When You're In Love?

How do You Know When You're In Love?








How do you know when you're in love

is it the crazy things you do

is it the fact that my heart skips a beat

everytime that i think of you



Is it the fact that I can't sleep at night

when your image is in my head



Or is it the fact that I can't stop smiling

after every word that you've said



Is it the need to hold you in my arms

and keep you there forever



Or is it the fact that I wrote you a poem

and sent it to you in a letter



Is it this awful feeling deep inside

whenever I have to take you home



Or is it just being here without you

that makes me feel so alone



Is is this hunger deep inside

that longs for your kiss



I am so happy that I'm in love

for there are so many things I would miss

A Love Forever

A Love Forever




Every I love you, you whisper,
is like rain for the trees,
moonlight for the ocean,
nectar for the bee

Every kiss bestowed upon me
is like fragrance on flowers,
heat upon the desert,
mist from morning showers

Every glance in my direction
is like flame to the fire,
a twinkling of stars,
a spark of love's desire

Every moment in your arms
is like waves to the ocean,
a rushing, primal urge,
a sweet mix of emotion

Every passing year marriage
is like joy without measure,
a life without limits,
I shall love you forever.

Sexual Feelings

Sexual Feelings


Rainy days and cold nights,
These are days I need you to hold me tight in your arms,
Hold me close and keep me warm,
Tell me I'm your good luck charm,
Look me in my eyes and tell me I'm the one for you ,
Tell me I'm your every wish come true,
Lay me down very gently,
Then make love to me essentially,
Caress my body from head to toe not missing a spot,
Lets play around like connect the dots,
Lets make each other hot till our body heat rise like a rollercoaster ride,
Take my body on a journey that never ends,
It always seems to just begin,
Make me climax like i never done before,
Do what you want to my body its all yours,
Rub me, lick me, kiss me, tease me do what ever you want to my body as long as its pleasing

This Journey

This Journey


Oh this journey, this path through life
Day after day, night after night
Can't sleep it away, can't put it behind
It's there in my mind, its part of the time
This journey's the path through the stages in life
It unravels the mysteries, shows us the light
Presents to us choices from which we must decide
There's no time to think
Is there somewhere to hide?
So we use our own judgment and
pressed by time we flip a dime
Heads or Tails, we succeed or we fail
To later discover through what the journey unravels
If we only knew yesterday what we'll know tomorrow
Let's run through the journey and maybe we'll see
But this journey is wiser than you and me
So I learn from the journey and from all my mistakes
Take the wisdom and knowledge to every next day
Focus on the good things that have come my way
Two wonderful children and A husband
I have learned, I have grown
I will learn, I will grow
From every day, from every stage
Heads or Tails, I will succeed, I won't fail

Only You

Only You


A person can make you feel high,
A person can make you feel low.
But only you can decide,
Which way you want to go.

A person can hurt you mentally,
A person can hurt you physically.
But only you can place,
A limit on your abilities.

A person can cause drama,
A person can cause a situation.
But only you can create,
Your own reputation.

A person can make you laugh,
A person can make you cry.
But only you can make,
Decisions for your life.

I guess what I'm trying to say,
That when you're living day to day.
Don't live by what people do,
But live by what you know is true.

Wishes

Wishes



Wishes are meant for you to ponder, they pass along to someone in need, or can be kept all to ourselves. Wishes are sincere in belief that all our hopes and dreams are within reach.

My wishes for you are my own'..They are an everlasting trust that miracles happen and dreams really do come true. Understood is the value of a nurturing heart, the innocence of a child's eyes and the wisdom of an aging hand.

I wish that the morning sky will forever intrigue you and the stardust of the night will captivate you. I wish that you will always see the man in the moon and entrust him with your deepest secrets.

I wish for you a creative spirit that dusts your imagination with youthful dreams and opens you to wonderful surprises just waiting to happen.

I wish for you to yearn for nothing and find contentment from within. That you will always know what to say to a friend, that your compassion will heal, and many more names will be etched in your heart.

waiting

waiting

waiting for the phone to ring,
waiting for you to walk threw the door.
knowing in my heart it wont ever happen again,
you are gone, gone, please dont let this be real.

this feels like a bad dream iam never going,
to wake up from.
help me understand?

o i love you my dear come back to me,
dont go and then you are gone,gone,

waiting for the phone to ring,
waiting for you to walk threw the door,
knowing in my heart it wont ever happen again.

you are gone,gone,please dont let this be real.
i want you to walk threw the door and kiss me,
but you are gone gone gone.

waiting on the phone to ring.
waiting for you to walk threw the door,
knowing in my hear it will ever happen again,
never happen again

Can You See It In My Eyes?

Can You See It In My Eyes?



You don't know how I'm feeling.
I have yet to vocalize
Desire deep inside me.
Can you see it in my eyes?

I tremble when I'm near you
Heat travels up my thighs
and I want you with an urgency
That I just can't describe.

Dare I reach out to touch you?
Do you think you'd realize
How much I want and need you?
Can you see it in my eyes?

I long to say, "I love you,"
But am scared of your reply.
Terrified like a child
I've become paralyzed.

The camouflaged emotions
Lead to pain and silent cries.
And yet I just can't tell you.
Don't you see it in my eyes?

Confessing through this poem
My dilemma summarized.
The feeling's quite cathartic,
But will lead to my demise.

Death , Life

Death , Life



It stalks the night
It stalks the day
It seeks out life
And whisks it away
It's known as death
And other things too
But it's all the same
What matters is you.
How do you see it?
What does it mean?
It's best if you know
For death is unseen.
It can take you at day
It can take you at night
Knowing death well
Can lend you some light
The passage to death
Is always unclear
And it's best to know
That you're very near.
For death is at hand
It is for us all
Know it's face well
So you don't stumble and fall
Now think hard on death
And know that it's near
And the meaning of life
Will be all to clear
And that is to live
For your hearts desire
Not to stumble or fall
But to burn with a fire.
A fire for life
To live for each day
To reach for your dreams
No matter what people say
Life is a question
And death holds a clue
Reach not for the answer
For your life's not due
Live for the moment
And die for it too
For it's the moment that counts
It, and you

Blind

Blind




I was so blind
Why did I not recognize

all the sadness drowning in his eyes?
I was too busy to take some time

and ask him what was on his mind
I was so blind

Now I see his cries for help,
all the cards he had dealt

he was just waiting for them to run out
Is that what life is all about?

Just waiting for it all to end,
or asking why did it ever begin?

It's not supposed to be like that
You can't just lie around like a door mat

Let people step all over you
and wish the wind would take you to wherever it blew

I didn't see that's what he did
he hid

Why couldn't I find
I was so blind

he is gone now
I just cry and ask how

I let him slip away
It gets harder everyday

Now I sit in sorrow,
Wishing there was no tomorrow

I was so blind

Why

Why


Why?

Why does life hurt so much?
Why can't life be so sweet?
Why does a single girl out of a group
Need to be the one that has everything she cared about,
Everyone that was close to her disappearing
Taken away and doesn't know how to get them back
Then life makes her realize that it actually can get worse.

Why can't it all be fine and dandy?
Why can't life be like candy (So Sweet),
Why does life make you feel like whatever you do it isn't good enough
Why can't life distribute pain more equally among many people,
not just concentrated on one person
(LIFE IS UNFAIR)
Why does life need to make a girl feel so bad?
Why must life tear you apart inside?
Why will it keep hurting you whatever you do
When will the pain stop?
Who will be the one to stop it?
(NO ONE CAN)

Why does life hurt so much?
Why can't life be so sweet?
Why does a single girl out of a group
Need to be the one that has everything she cared about,
Everyone that was close to her disappearing
Taken away and doesn't know how to get them back
Then life makes her realize'
IT CAN GET WORSE

Discreet Abuse

Discreet Abuse


In the early afternoon hours, he treats her like a queen
For when people are around, nothing is what it seems.
And all the yesterdays have been forgotten
Like he's never hit her before,
Like she's never screamed out in pain,
Never screamed, 'No More!'
For when people are around,
He's calm, quiet; discreet.
No one can see the pain she hides,
Behind the fake smile on her cheeks
And in the dark hours of the night,
When everyone's asleep'
She's curled up in a ball on the floor,
Her composure she must keep.
Gently rocking back and forth-
(Her pain is so immense)
She knows she has to stop this abuse,
(Or he'll hurt her once again.)
So she makes a plan to kill him in his sleep-
A promise she made to herself, a secret she must keep.
She planned it out so perfectly;
She set the date and time.
Not knowing, that after this,
She'd be charged with homicide.
She took the gun out form her purse,
And crept into their room.
'No second thoughts!' She told herself,
She knew what she must do.
And when she saw him sound asleep,
Old memories came flooding back'
-Mistletoe of memory
She holds you in her dreams
Please claim her heart and soul and mind;
For on her journey she will find,
A chain of darkness, one by one
Until, so sadly, his time is done-
She remembered the gentle man she married,
many years ago,
And as she put the gun to his head,
She softly cried out 'No!'
The next morning, he found her gun,
Which she thought she'd stashed safely away;
And as he shot her in her arm,
She knew she'd made a horrible mistake
He chased her to the stairwell,
She knew that he had won.
She closed her eyes, let out a sigh;
She knew her time was done.
And giving into the darkness,
A world she calls her own,
She heard music playing in the distance,
And she finally went back home.

What The Rain Does

What The Rain Does

The rain is falling down
And its streaming down my face
All my fears and nightmares
Wash away without a trace

I look up into the clouds
Not a worry in my mind
A smile comes across my face
And i slowly unwind

My mind comes back to you
As it always does
I think of your hand in mine
As it all once was

Even now I see you, but you're not there
My heart just can't take being without you
People like you are just so rare
I love everything about you and this whole affair

This night I'll kiss you in the rain
Both of us will be free of pain
Hopefully I'll never let you go
I'll hold you as long as the wind bothers to blow

Two Hearts

Two Hearts

Two hearts beating in a special day
And in a special way
For one another's love.
Two hearts that are common alone
Come together as one
And become special; as they belong.

Two hearts find each other
In the darkest of places
Leaving only traces.
They are separated but come back together
And fall in love forever.

Two hearts become one
And decide to share their lives
In such a cold world its so hard--
So hard; to find real love.

I could only imagine

I could only imagine

When she held you in her arms,
And swore she'd never let go.
She also promised you forever,
And the future she let show.

When she smiled at you bright,
And said it would all be okay.
She made your life good,
When she said forever and a day.

When she wiped your tears,
And tenderly kissed you goodnight.
She made you a promise,
She'd hold you through the night.

When you were with her,
She made you feel so free.
Touched your skin daily,
And always made you believe.

And doing those things with you,
I could only imagine...

A Kiss With Wings





The ones we love, don't go away,

They walk side by side with us every day.

Unseen, unheard, but always near,

Still loved, still missed, still very dear.

My father's the one i so dearly miss,

An ache in my heart, at no parting kiss.

No special words i so wanted to say,

Just a numbing ache that wont go away.

My mind now roams, on sweet times gone by,

Long forgotten memories,a tear now in my eye.

My friends all huddled round you, stories being told,

You defeating the daleks, or finding the long lost gold.

The wink you use to give me, as i sat there by your side,

I,in awe of my father,heart so full of pride.

Now you roam the heavens, free of earthly pain,

Wings aspread, you're flying now in the lords domain.

A kiss i send now, up to the sky so blue,

Catch it dad, this is a kiss with wings for you.

this is for my dad james ray sizemore
we miss you and love you our hearts are sore

A BROKEN HEART

A BROKEN HEART





TODAY YOU'RE HERE

THE NEXT YOUR GONE

I GUESS ALL THE THINGS I SAID ABOUT YOU

WERE WRONG





I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE ONE

I TRULY DID

AND I STILL CAN'T GET OVER

THE STUFF THAT YOU SAID





YOU LIED TO ME,

HURT ME,

YOU CAUSED ME SO MUCH PAIN

NOW THE ONLY WAY I CAN HIDE MY TEARS

IS IN THE RAIN





YOU WERE HERE AT ONE MOMENT

AND NOW YOUR GONE

HOW COULD EVERYTING I THOUGHT YOU WERE

BE SO WRONG





YOU NEVER LOVED ME,

YOU NEVER REALLY CARED

ALL THE THINGS YOU TOLD ME

WERE LIES,

BUT THEY CAN BE SPARED





YOU BROKE ME HEART INTO A MILLION PEICES,

AND FOR WHAT RESAON?





EVERY KISS,

EVERY PECK,

EVERY MOMENT THAT WE SHARED...

NOW I KNOW THAT YOU NEVER TRULY CARED





SO I WRITE YOU THIS POEM FULL OF MY THOUGHTS,

SO WHEN YOU READ THIS IT STAYS IN YOUR MEMORY

'TILL IT STARTS TO ROT





I MEANT NOTHING TO YOU

NOR DID EVERY I LOVE YOU





YOU HURT ME BAD, I JUST HOPE THAT YOU SEE,

HOW MUCH DAMAGE YOU HAVE DONE TO ME.

part 3 the little girl all ways left alone

the baby is now a year old and she is 8. her mother still doing what she dose. her dd is to the point to where he dont even come home any more. she is late for school all the time waiting on her mother to walk threw the door so that she can go. she cant leave josh there alone with no one to take care of him. when her mother walks in she gives josh a kiss and and tells him she will be back real soon. he starts crying and she gives her brother a big hug..


she feels real bad for leaveing her brother with her hafe drunk mother. this gos on for many years. lynn was a mother to her brother josh. jim and nikkie missed every thing. his frist words his fris steps every thing. lynn learned her self how to cook for her and josh. it was all ways just them 2 around the house. he called his sister mom because he didnt know his real mother. he just knew the one that had takein care of him for the past year.

she started to get to school on time and her grades has came up. she isnt so pale any more. she still worried her self sick about josh tho. she didnt want her mom to hurt him because of her staying drunk. this went on for many more years. until lynn turned 16 and josh was 8.then lynn took her mother and father to cort to take josh from them.

the family corts heard what lynn had to say. then they ask josh what he wanted. josh said sir i want to be with my sister that is the only mother i have ever known. then some of lynns teachers threw the years came in and said that every thing josh and lynn was saying was the thruth. jim and nikkie tryed to lie there way threw it. it didnt get them any where.

in the end lynn got josh and had a baby on the way of her own and they all lived together and he love his sisters baby so much. that was as close to a family as them two had ever had. they was a happy family and they loved being together every day and lynn married her husband and josh and lynn had the same name as her husband now. so they was all a happy family. josh woke up one night hearing the baby crying and he seen lynn siting on the couch feeding the baby and changeing him then she started rocking him to sleep. she looked at josh and said i use to do this with you when you was my sons age. then josh looks at his sister and as her why did she name the baby after him. lynn looked at josh and said why would i name my baby after any body else

the end

part 2 the little girl all ways left alone

the teacher calls cps to have them look in to things. they go to jim and nikkies house nothing looks out of place or apears to be wrong. they live in a 6 beed room house that is very nice a clean there is food there. the cps tells jim and nikkie that they might need to take lynn to the docter that there could be something wrong with her health. so they agreed to take lynn to the docter. they never did take lynn to the docter.

then one night lynn hears her mother and father talking. her mother gos on to tell her father that she is with child again. the mother and father both was happy. lynn was happy too maybe her mother would stay home with her now. then they was talking about throwing a birthday party for lynn because she was going to be 7 in 2 days.

well lynns mom did stay home with her the whole time she was with child. they was all at the hospital when nikkie give birth to a baby boy. they named him josh. the mother and josh was released from the hospital the next day after the baby was born. the mother stayed home for 5 days then after that was back to her old ways. now she was leaveing lynn to take care of her brother. his feedings changeings and ever thing. every 4 hrs she was wakeing up to feed her baby brother josh.

then she all so had to get up get ready for school and do every thing else amoung that. no body kenw how a 7 year old child was doing all of that. the thruth is she was doing it but she was very tired.some times she wouldnt even make it out the door because she would fall back to sleep. then when she did go to school she was sleeping threw all of her classes. then would have so much home work to get done when she got home. but how was she supose to do her home work and take care of a crying baby as well.

one day the teacher calls her to the hall way to speak with her. the teacher ask her why she was missing school so much. then ask her why when she was at school she couldnt stay away. lynn says that its hard to sleep with the new baby in the house and him crying all the time. so the teacher lets it go.they both walk in the class room. lynn turns to the teacher and says this is the only freedom i get. i will try to do better. the teacher just smiles.the bell rings and it is time to go home. she walks in to the house to find josh crying in his crib. she hadd not a clue how long he had been there. so she rushes down stairs makes him a bottle and grabs some baby food. she feeds him and changes him and he falls to sleep so she thinks she is going to try and get some rest her self.then do her home work later.

they slepts for a wile the josh wakes up crying. he has a feaver. she gives him some thing to bring the feaver down. she trys to let that take effect. josh would not stop crying. she trys to call her mom by this point she was scared. she cant call no one because then she will be taken away. so she just waits it out. she puts the baby in the crib and she walks out of the room and closes the door behind her. she she falls down the wall crying beging for the baby to stop crying. she has her hands on her face just crying. not knowing what to do and not knowing if her brother was going to be all rite or not. at this point shes yelling and crying i cant take much more.

part 1 the little girl all way's left alone

this is a true story i had to change the names to keep the people safe.

the little girl all ways left alone


lynn was a 6 year old child. her father jim was a hard worker to give lynn and his wife every thing that they wanted or needed. little did he know that nikkie his wife was leaveing lynn all alone. the little girl was 6 years old so there was not much she could cook on her own she really couldnt cook at all.many nights the girl didnt eat. by the time her father jim got home lynn was in bed because she had to go to school. the mother nikkie would come in drunk and start a fight only to wake lynn up. after she was awake she would just lay there and wait for her clock to go off to get up and get ready for school.then she would get up take her shower brush her hair then her teeth and get dressed. then she would go kiss her dad and tell him she loved him and go to school.

the teacher seen that lynn was haveing trouble staying awake. she was not her happy self. so like any other teacher she started to wonder what was going on with lynn. she ask lynn if every thing was ok. she all so ask her if she was geting enugh to eat and enugh rest. because lynn was pail and didnt look like her self. lynn said yes but the teacher knew that there was something wrong. the teacher whent home that night and talked to her husband about it. he said that to call cps and have them see what was going on.

lynn walks home and her mother nikkie is there. she run's to her room puts her book bag away. she comes back down stairs thinking her mother was going to stay home that night. only to find out that she wasnt going to. then she grabs her mothers leg beging her not to leave. she pushes her off her leg and walks out the door. lynn crying in the middle of the floor. she cry's her self to sleep. her dad walks in and sees her laying asleep in the middle of the floor. so he picks her up and takes her up the stairs to her room and tucks her in kisses her good night and tells her he loves his baby girl very much.then he gos to bed him self.then lynns clock gos off its time to go to school. she gets up by her self and gets ready for school just like every morrning. only this morrning her face is red from crying the night befor.

My Undying Love

My Undying Love



I love you like the sun in the sky
Or maybe how a bird is destined to fly
Even more than a mother loves her child
Or all the animals running in the wild

A pedal to a rose
And everyone knows
It's more that just love
Soring around like a white turtle dove

Tears for joy and tears for pain
It's like standing out in the hot summer rain
It's more than the sound of your sweet gentle name
More than a predetor loves its game

Words can't sum up the way that I feel
But I'll definetly say
These feelings are real
And as Sent from above
Im here to give you my undying love

So in closing my dear
I pray I've made it rather clear
You mean everything to me
My sweet heart can't you see
I can't get enough of your endless touch
Oh my sweet baby, I love you so much!

MY LOVE FOR YOU

MY LOVE FOR YOU


My love for you is deep and true
No matter what you do
I'll always be there for you
No matter where you go
I'll always be there beside you
Till the day I die
My love will always stay true to you

My One and Only Love

My One and Only Love


There are just so many words
But I can't find one that's perfectly true.

I have said lots of I love yous
Have given you lots of kisses and hugs
I have given you my all
But still those are just not enough.

You're the only one I desire
You're the only one in my heart
Through good and bad times
Nothing can keep us apart.

To my one and only love
That no one will ever compare
Take this simple vow
Let this be my devotion forever.

I love you and I will never leave you
No matter what happens I'll always be true
Though times may be rough
and days may be tough
I'll stick with you through and through
until the next life...

every one else dose this so lmao

greatlion Sent: 15 minutes ago
hello

lil sis Sent: 14 minutes ago
hi how are u doing

greatlion Sent: 14 minutes ago
good
u ?


lil sis Sent: 14 minutes ago
all rite thanks

greatlion Sent: 13 minutes ago
so can we see each other ?


lil sis Sent: 13 minutes ago
what do u mean by see.

greatlion Sent: 11 minutes ago
can we see each other by webcam?

lil sis Sent: 11 minutes ago
i dont have a web cam

greatlion Sent: 10 minutes ago
ok no problem

greatlion Sent: 7 minutes ago
so i can show u my body if u want

lil sis Sent: 5 minutes ago
look iam not looking to se any ones body iam here for chat and to have a good time not to see naked people iam sorry

greatlion Sent: 5 minutes ago
but i like to see naked body
and i can show u my dick if u want

lil sis Sent: 3 minutes ago
i dont want to see your dick. dont you got any thing else better to do man

greatlion Sent: 2 minutes ago
ok my dear
we can talk about other things
i like u my cute girl

lil sis Sent: a few seconds ago
what is it u like about me and iam not your gril

lil sis Sent: a few seconds ago
girl

HOW BAD ARE U WANTED?

How bad are you wanted? Post this and see how many msg's you get......... dont be scared!


(1) just friends
(2) gorgeous
(3) cute as heck
(4) hot
(5) fine
(6) sexy
(7) amazingly sexy
(8) we can be friends with benefits
(9) i'd take you 2 my crib
(10) i want to make you my bf / gf
(11) i love you baby
(12) one of my besties

i dont know what to call this

iam laying here in bed and my 4 year old comes up to me and says i love you mommy. then she smiles. thats nothing new with her she is a very loveable child. then she jumps up in bed with me and says mommy why arent you happy. i didnt know how to answer that. i just told her that iam all ways happy i have her and her sister and they make me happy. they are my life. they are good kids. when they want to be that is. they both have been sick so they are on my hip you may as well say. but my little girl when she is sick i cant leave her sight or shes crying. rite now i got her laying on my lap as iam trying to type. i have to stay up until 8am to get the 10 year old off to school and then me and the 4 year old will lay back down. she needs her rest and so do i. i have been sleeping good for the past 3 nights any ways. shes had trouble sleeping because she is sick. so when she comes down the stairs crying i get up but if i put her in bed with me she will go back to sleep. iam just gald that she was not sick why i was. iam trying to get her days and nights on track befor school starts next year for her. she is use to staying up just like me. she loves her mommy. i cant go no where with out her. then my 10 year old is 10 going on 20 and shes a smart ass and iam controling that. thats what iam seeing. now i know why i got in so much trouble at her age. lol kids are something else they all ways can make you smile every day when you arent even in the mood to smile they all ways get it out of you. they put you in a good mood. its been nice out side so we have got alot of house work done and been playing out side and we have a park around the coner of our house so we went there and played. well my 10 year old desides that shes going to try to get in one of them baby swings, i was laughing so hard that i couldnt get her back out she was stuck. she got her self out after about a hr of her and me trying to get her out of the damn thing. that was funny. i was about to die i was laughing so hard. why the hell did she get in a swing that she knew that there was no way of geting out of it? lmao. we laughed all the way home over that. we have been walking at night and stuff itss a good way to bond just walk and look at trees and things like that. the kids love it. i love it because i get to spend time with them. its something to do and we live in a nice place to walk day or night. right now they are fighting dose that ever end? lol hell no. they will do this for the rest of there lifes.

me i need to walk any ways it clears my head gives me time to think about things. it helps me when iam haveing a bad day. if i go on a walk i dont have time to think about all the bad shit. when iam out there rather with the kids or just me by my self i can think about the good stuff and find a way to fix the bad stuff. i love it because it makes me feel better at the end of the walk. i get out of the house away from it all. if its just for a hr then i walk threw the door i feel alot better about things but most of all i feel better aabout my self. gives me time to think and relax and reflect on my life. i would rather walk then drive. when you are walking you can take more in. i dont know if that makes any sence to yall but it dose me.

just think about what you could do if you felt better about your self? it makes you easer to be around well some times. it all just depends on you. me iam hard to get along with. iam not going to lie iam a b&zw@. i make it hard for any one to get close to me. one i dont want to get hurt. that is the big reason i make it hard for people to get it. they ask how iam doing i always say fine. most of the time when i say iam fine its just so no one as me what is wrong with me. i know that there is alot of people on here that cares about me and its easer to help them with there prbs then to deal with my own. if iam helping a friend mine dont bother me that much any ways. i would rather help a friend then them being the ones that are helping me. i dont know why iam like that its just i feel that it is better that way.


its just i dont want any one to worry about me even tho i know you all do.. its hard for me to ask for help or to even get in to what is bothering me. i have all ways been that way. keep it all bottled up and then i dont have to worry about any one hurting me. if i let them in i all ways get hurt. so why not keep in all in?

I Thought I Knew You Well

I Thought I Knew You Well

I knew your dreams
Because we used to talk
For hours at a time.

I knew your friendship
Because you were always there
When I needed your comfort.

I knew your pain
Because you trusted me enough
To share your past with me.

I knew your fears
Because you helped me
To see that mine were the same.

I knew what was important to you
Because you were always
So honest with me.

I knew your goals
Because I felt the enthusiasm
In your words when you talked of them.

I knew your guidance
Because you patiently explained
The things I didn't understand.

I knew your heart
Because I saw right into it
And felt it a part of my own.

I knew your honor
Because you let me go
When I fell in love with you.

And I knew your love
Because you wouldn't let me dream
of us together.

You Still Wonder

You Still Wonder


our eyes meet,
magnetic poetic,
your lips touch mine,
erotic electric,
arms encircle me,
euphoric idyllic,
together we,
synchronic rhythmic.

and you still wonder -
do I love you?

It’s true love

It’s true love


It is a terrible web that we weive,
So terrible to even conceive,
In my dreams I see us together,
Wishing we could be forever and ever,
The thought of losing you to time,
Is far powerful than rhythm and rhyme
So whats the problem, whats going wrong?
Its only you for whom I long,
In a few weeks we will slowly drift apart,
As my feelings errupt,so will my heart,
My tears will fall, my smile will fade,
But I will remember you for the happiness you
Made,
Your lips, your humour,your smile, your eyes
Will be my world, the cause of my cries,
I will be devestated, it’ll clearly show,
When the final bell rings and its time to go,
I’m in a daze,
This is not just a faze,
It’s true love, and always will be.

Good bye

Good bye


Never have I hurt this much,
never cried so many tears.
This pain you've caused,
its not your fault,
this I know with all of my heart.

I want to hug you,
but also to slap you,
kiss you but also attack you.
This pain is so intense;
it takes my breath away.

Who am I to turn to?
What am I to say?
How could one person be the cause of so much pain;
easily break a heart into so many tiny,
jagged pieces? I want to hear your voice,
but never again see your face.

I want to hold you in my arms;
I still wish that you were mine.
thought there was a chance for us,
there's still a love you can't deny.
The tears pour down yet once again,
and my heart breaks anew.

Oh, how I already miss you.
Never again will I laugh with you,
never again smile at your jokes.
This is it, this is the end,
this, is.goodbye.

Another sleepless night

i lay here and every one is asleep in the house. the only think else to do is think. i dont want to get up moveing around because the baby fell asleep next to me and as soon as i get up she will be rite back. so iam laying here in the dark just thinking about life and every thing else. then love pops into my head. so im like oh grate here we go. i want that subject as far away from my mind as it could be rite now.


then i start to say to my self what all the house needs worked on sence it is warm out. well i have some wood that i need and every thing. so i get that out this morning and then i go to get the saw and safty glasses. well the saw isnt at home and the safety glasses are with the saw in the car. so there gos that plan and it was going to take me a wile to do that and i dont know if i would get it done now because iam tired and wanting to sleep now that its almost day light. the kids are still sleeping so i come back and lay back down. i start to think again. at this point with my mind going so fast iam never going to get to sleep.

so now iam siting here thinking about the friends i have lost and the loved ones that i have lost threw the years. some so young the others old. and then i start to wonder well how much of my life do i got left to live? then i start saying to my self just let me live long enugh to see my girls grow up and have a nice job and family of their own and i will be happy with that. if i dont live past that at lest i know my kids are taken care of and they can take care of their selfs. thats what i want. i want them to be safe. i have lost friends at very young ages leaveing there babies there who wont even rember who their mommmy is. i dont want that to happen to me.

thats why i have all ways said live for today because tommorrow may be to late to start liveing. live every day like its going to be your last. laugh smile and enjoy life. yes we are going to have bad shit come our way. but stay strong and stand back up and dust you ass off and jump back on for the ride. if life bucks up to you buck right back up. dont fall off and never get back on. when you are sad cry but then dry your tears and get over because iam sure that you are strong enugh to get back up. what ever has you down can only get worse but that is if you let it. you got get back up smile and say you may of hurt me this time but iam stronger for that thank you. then they wont know what to think.

love you kids love your family. dont forget to tell them because it might be the last time. you never know. my kids are my world and they know it to. they are sweet and kind and all they want is your love give it to them. make sure they know that them to you is the most imporatan thing to you in this world. because if you dont thats why we got the teenagers trying to have babies of there own. to feel the love that they never got from there onw mothers or fathers. then we have babies takeing care of babies. that isnt what we need. what we need is to show our kids that we do love them and care about them. that they dont need to go out here and do shit to get us to hear them. we do hear them. if my mom would have told me that i might not have a baby at 15 but now i wouldnt change it for nothing in the world. because i got a part of me that no one can never take from me a pice of me thhat i love more then life its self. i might not have had kids if it wasnt for the life i have lived. i knew i wanted my kids to have more then what i did. so far i have not let my kids down or my self. again tho none of that matters if the dont get the love they need. i know that because i never did get the love i needed until it was to late by then i had done had my frist child and another on the way.

do you ever get the filling of omfg im going to die

well today was a nice day and me and my 4 year old is out in the yard listen to music and well we are dancing around the yard playing and just haveing a good old time. she was haveing a ball and we was laughing and every thing. well we keep on hearing a car horn but i never think to trun around and look that its in my drive way. then my name is being called and im lookin all over the damn place trying to find out where its comeing from because i knew the voice really well. better then i should have after 10 years any damn way. then finly he gets rite up on me and yells hey. i trun around and im like no f~&$#% way. here stands my best friene sence grade school. i was like jumping up and down. he said gril when you hide you had good it took me 10 years to find you. then i was like well how in the hell did you find me any ways. he said you sister told me address and every thing. well little did he know i had been lookin for him as well. he was more then just a friend for a long time then we was best friends lost touch and then hes standing in my yard with me and my little girl. well hes married and got 2 little girls of his own now. the funny think is when i knew him he was shorter then me now he is a foot taller then me. so we walked to the park with my little girl and talked all the way there and then he had to go. we made a promise that we would keep in touch and every thing. i was good friends with his now wife as well. so this is a happy time because i got not only one but 2 friends back in my life i didnt think i would ever see again. it was fun why it lasted he walked me back home then walked back to his car. my little 4year old askin me 100 ?s that i dont know the answers to the only think i could tell her was that was chris a really good friend of mommys back when i was her age until i truned 16 and got kicked out of school. she just smiled and said my mommys happy. so we are back at home playin in the yard she says i want to go to sleep mommy so i take her in for a nap. still blowed away from it all i try to take a nap with her and cant sleep. so i jump out of bed jump on line and i got a friend requset from him and his wife bother sister and his mother as well. i was friends with his hole family pertty much so i added them all this was on my space. just happy to hear from them all again we get to talkin on there and we talked all day long. i called alot of them to. i was like we should do this on 3 way at that point so i could talk to more then just one of them at a time lol. my phone didnt stop. it made me happy and smile and laugh again like we was back in high school. going back to when times was good and every thing was all rite as long as we didnt get cought by there mom and dad or mine. the things we got by with that we laugh about now so many years later. good times that never seemed to end back then with us all. we all was close u see one of us walking down the street u seen us all. we was never not together. the kids any ways. the moms and dads stayed home thank god or we would have been in some deep shit for the things that we was doing. we smoked pot and would come home high off our asses but they never could figure out why the hell we hide in the bed room all night only comeing out to eat or go to the bathroom. funny what u can rember when you talk to old friends. we taalked about it all. then our moms are like we knew the whole time yall was geting high i was like bull shit and fall back in it too lol. to day was one of them mommets we laughed until we cryed together. it was fun made me rember alot of things that i would have never if i had not found them all again or them finding me. i dont know what to call it but its something i know that. because that dont happen every day. not like this did. sometimes reliveing the past can be good. for others it could be bad. we all had our good times our bad times but no matter what we stuck together for 16 years and some how they found me. well with my sisters help after 8 years. i dont know but all i know is that iam and my heart fills so light for some reason after today. so if you are ever lookin for some one dont stop because ther is all ways that chance that you might find them again some day. it might of took us all 8 years but damnit we did it. still got that love of a best friend and love from all them people and im like iam so gald to have this back. i truely am. we cant go back and make up for 8 years but we can start over or just where we all left off. besides the going back to school thing lol witch i wouldnt do if some one paid me to do any ways.