Secrets Of My Heart

Secrets Of My Heart


Why does my heart still hold on to you
At every waking moment, in everything I do
Why do I have to see your face all day
And if you knew, what would you say?

My heart breaks in two when I see her with you
And I think to myself, what didn't I do
I wish I could somehow turn back the time
And relive one second when you were mine.

I wish no one ever had to know
The feeling of lovesick pain from head to toe
Like someone rips out your heart and tears it in two
And sit back and watch is all you can do.

In my dreams you say those words I long to hear
And when I look in your eyes, I know you're sincere
So I'll see you later, when the day is through
When I'm asleep in my bed, dreaming of you.

My Undying Love

My Undying Love



I love you like the sun in the sky
Or maybe how a bird is destined to fly
Even more than a mother loves her child
Or all the animals running in the wild

A pedal to a rose
And everyone knows
It's more that just love
Soring around like a white turtle dove

Tears for joy and tears for pain
It's like standing out in the hot summer rain
It's more than the sound of your sweet gentle name
More than a predetor loves its game

Words can't sum up the way that I feel
But I'll definetly say
These feelings are real
And as Sent from above
Im here to give you my undying love

So in closing my dear
I pray I've made it rather clear
You mean everything to me
My sweet heart can't you see
I can't get enough of your endless touch
Oh my sweet baby, I love you so much!

Saying Good-bye

Saying Good-bye



Sitting here thinking about you,
I here you call my name,


As I turn to see who's calling me
I see no one, only hear your voice.

I glance across the room,
To see if anyone else hears it too.

But no one seems to notice the look on my face.

I miss you so much,
I keep telling you,
But you don't seem to hear me.

Still you're calling out my name, only louder,
As the tears rolled down my face,
I glance around the room,
And see you amongst my family, and friends
The look upon your face says you're peaceful now.

I realized it was time to let you go.
Although I will always love and miss you.

I turn my head to see if anyone notices you.
Then I turn back, and you're gone.

I hear you, so very gently say,
"I love you", "Good- Bye!"
"Bye", I said . . .

Death , Life

Death , Life



It stalks the night
It stalks the day
It seeks out life
And whisks it away
It's known as death
And other things too
But it's all the same
What matters is you.
How do you see it?
What does it mean?
It's best if you know
For death is unseen.
It can take you at day
It can take you at night
Knowing death well
Can lend you some light
The passage to death
Is always unclear
And it's best to know
That you're very near.
For death is at hand
It is for us all
Know it's face well
So you don't stumble and fall
Now think hard on death
And know that it's near
And the meaning of life
Will be all to clear
And that is to live
For your hearts desire
Not to stumble or fall
But to burn with a fire.
A fire for life
To live for each day
To reach for your dreams
No matter what people say
Life is a question
And death holds a clue
Reach not for the answer
For your life's not due
Live for the moment
And die for it too
For it's the moment that counts
It, and you

Up Date On My Little Girl

well yall know that she has the blood disorder called hsp. we found that out on jan. 29th of this year. every sence then she has been sick and not got better. in and out of the hospitals and every thing else. well every time i seem to think that shes doing fine something else pops up and we are rite back out at the hospital. the hsp has not got better and now on top of the hsp she has n1h1 her intestins are bleeding due to being swollen but not enugh for the docters to worry. she also as another type of flu,marsa witch is better known as staf in her throat. her teps was spikeing to 105.4 sometimes higher then that.

i take her to her docter friday and he checks her temp i cant get it down from 105 so he tells me to take her close off down to nothing but her undercloses so i did so. at this point iam freaking out not knowing what is going on. he gos and brings ice packs back to her room. he puts them under her arms behind her neck on her forehead and on her legs. he gets the temp to go down some. then he tells me hes calling childerens hospital because he is worried one over the temp spikeing that high but she was also swelled in her legs belly and back. we get her to childerens and we are there for some time. they hook her up to ivs and every thing in the er. they find blood in her urin and every thing else. they did all kinds of blood work utarsounds and they tell me that they are going to admit her in to the hospital. so by friday night we are in the room at the hospital and her blood prusher is high and temp is back up to 105 no one can tell me why the hell her temp is so high. her flu test came back she had no kind of ful and every thing like that. then they do another flu test still says she dont have the flu then another one and she dose have the flu.

so we are stuck in this hospital room and meds and temp and all the shit they check every thing seems to be high on her at this point and im confused and really upset this is my baby girl and every thing seems to be going all wrong for her. i want to cry but have to be strong. the hsp is starting to mess with her kidneys and tummy. when she dose eat she throws up. then most of the time she says she wants to eat and then she wont eat. they send her home with all this wrong with her and all kinds of meds. she seems to be doing fine but she still wont eat and every thing like that. she has me worried sick. she had never been sick until she started school and now she seems to stay sick.

they have poked her and ran all kinds of test and they keep on and keep on runing the test. its like do you know what is wrong with her or not? then when its that bad you start to think that its something you did. maybe iam doing something wrong is why she is so sick. i dont know. what if it is something i did do to get her this sick? i mean i never take my eye off her or any thing like that but puting her in school could be what did it so if that is what did it that is my faul.

shes sleeping rite now and i hope that when she gets up she fine no temp and i can get her to eat thats what i want to happen any ways. i dont know if that will happen but i sure hope so. i cant have nothing happen to either 1 of my kids i would lose my damn mind if something happen to them. they are my life. her being this sick makes u think about alot of things that much i do know. dont worry she should be find well i hope that every one that has told me that is rite because i cant take to much more of this. i want to take her place if it was me atlest i have got to live life and see what life is all about. she hasnt got to yet. i want her to live a life with out haveing to deal with this hsp for the rest of her life. witch the docters told me that she would have to.

Broken

Broken



It's like a book, broken pages mixed together,
words scrambling around
the crazy memories scattered around
what about that night we spent
trying to put together the pieces of life?

All the intellectual conversations
like little Stars, but it wasn't so simple,
it got confusing and impossible to understand.
Words weren't just words,
they were incredible thoughts.

After a while, the days turned to rain,
and then one day,
it all disappeared into the moon.
Every once in a while I stare up at it,
trying to put the broken pieces back together.

It comes back in a shallow way.
life is just one long day we dream upon.
Our souls swim around madly trying to find a place to rest
and we, like madmen, travel all around to look for them.

Eventually, if we're determined enough,
we'll find that one broken piece in our lives -
it's called our souls

Someone

Someone



Have you ever wished you were someone else?
Someone other than yourself.
Have you ever wanted to get away?
To be someone else for a day.

Does it seem like your lane is always jammed?
and everything you do is always dammed?
Do you always seem to catch the red light?
and you never seem to do anything right.

Do you try to make everyone happy, not sad?
but someone always ends up mad.?
If I changed my name
Would you treat me the same?

If I changed my face
How would I see this place?
If I changed my beliefs
Would my mind be anymore deep?

If I was someone else
Would I wish I was myself?

To Be In Love With The Real Deal

To Be In Love with The Real Deal



We are always searching in life
For that special thing
That thing that makes us fly without wings
When I close my eyes, every single night
All I see is that beautiful sight
That thing I want to touch and hold
That thing better than silver and gold
This thing shares my hopes and dreams
And helps me understand how love should be
It will stand by my side
And will dry my tears when I cry
It will be my best friend
Who will be there till the end
There's nothing in this world I'd rather feel
Than to be in love with the real deal

Love Begins

Love Begins


I always knew that love would come find me someday
but never did I know that it would be you who was headed my way
you caught me off guard and took me by surprise
but you simply captivated me, the same way you do when I look into your eyes

It's true that every good and perfect gift is from above
you were presented to me as a beautifully packaged gift full of humor, talent, intelligence, beauty and love
"it isn't finding the perfect person but learning to see an imperfect person perfectly"
we all have our flaws but when I view you through my eyes, perfection is all I see

From when you laugh to when you're upset, I still love the little things you do
especially hearing you laugh and seeing your nose wrinkle the same way mine does too
coming into this relationship has been hard at times but we've made it through
I know as long as we're on this journey together, there's nothing that we can't do.

DEEPEST DESIRE

DEEPEST DESIRE


As the sun rises in the East
So the breaking dawn of my love begins
As the sun sets in the West
I am overwhelmed with a burning desire
A desire locked down deep inside
One that cannot be concealed anymore

I long for one sweet kiss to quench my thirst
I long for one tender touch that will last a lifetime

At the end of it all you are my deepest desire!

I love you not today nor tomorrow but forever!

A MILLION TIMES

A MILLION TIMES



I have seen you a million times
And every time I see you
I fall in love with you all over again
My heart starts to race
My frown turns into a smile
And all my worries are now in my past
When you smile at me my heart melts
You give the sweetest hugs
Every time you hug me
Your smile is like a new day
Your sense of humor is like no other
The ability you have to make me smile
Is all you need you love me
Your laugh is so soft and sweet
Just looking in your eyes
Makes me melt inside
Your lips look so soft
Soft enough to kiss
You, yourself relive me from all pain
Your hands are as soft as a pillow
The way you comfort me is amazing
Every time we say good-bye
I start to cry
I say good-bye to you too many times
I said good-bye to you a million times

Forever Love

Forever Love


You are my description of love
You are my description of friend
You are my description of everything
You are my description of beginning to end.

You have put me on a pedestal
You make me feel ten feet tall
You've always been there for me
You've loved me through it all.

You've stood by me through thick and thin
You've always been patient and kind
Just thought I'd let you know
You're the owner of this heart of mine.

So you ask how long I'll love you
Well this is what I have to say
Past, present, future, always
Forever and a day!

IF ITS NOT ONE THING ITS ANOTHER.......

as yall know my little girl kathleen has been really sick and missing school. the docters dont want her going and i dont with every thing that has happen. well it started off she had to have eye surgey and she was out of school for a week for that. then we find out that she has that blood disorder and they sent her home sick. later that night is when we find out she has the blood disorder and every thing. then she has been out of school for 2 weeks for that. tryed to send her back yesterday she comes home runing a temp again. but befor that she had a reactshion to the meds they had her on for her blood disorder. so she couldnt go to school for that because they wouldnt let her due to the rash all over her body.

so now i have to go to her school to get all the paper work on her blood disorder and eye surgery and all the other things that has been going on with her. then i have to take it to the board of education and pull her out of school for the rest of the year. witch is no big deal she stated a year earler then what she was supose to any ways.

well i check my mail today and i got papers in the mail saying that i have to go to court because she has missed 17 days of school. then they also are trying to say that my 11 year old has missed 12 days of school when i know that hasnt happened. so now we have to go threw that with the courts. witch is bs in my book with her being so sick and all.

pulling her out is not a big deal with her being so sick its best that she stays home where i can take care of her any ways. the thing that has me so mad is that they are trying to say that they have no paper work saying she has been in and out of the hospital witch i know for a fact that they do because i took the paper work in my self. i didnt want her to go this year any how. kathleen had never been sick until she started school. maybe if she would have i would have known about the blood disorder and all that from the start.

My Soul Is Dieing

My Soul Is Dieing


The darkness surrounds me
It's getting so cold
I'm all alone
With no one to hold

My world is so empty
All what's left is pain
No sunshine to light my way
Just never ending rain

I drown in tears
My heart is crying
No one seems to notice
My soul is dying

JOIN PLEASE

http://www.wireclub.com/Clubs/stop+abuseing+childern

Love Attack

Love Attack

he was condensed
with genuine innocence
How do I fabricate my emotions
and face such heart-felt occurrence
when i'm wrapped tight in slow motion
rendered immobile by his rare existence

A sugar-coated torture
constricting my vocalization
I cannot speak nor simply whisper
for I'm in the process of decomposition
he is beautiful and i might faint
Stunned, unable to flee from such fascination

My heart have gone insanely abnormal
As if exhausted from sprinting in a track
As if an ice melting atop his lips
Will i be able to contain my desires in tack
A soul already vaporized by an exquisite marvel
And a heart surrendered by a sudden, love attack.

Love Growing Strong

Love Growing Strong


Each day I know you
is another blessing to me,
Just seeing that smile
Brings peace to my heart,

Your words are like angel kisses
Those Eyes melt away my fears,
So beautiful both inside and out
Restoring my faith in Love,

Never has this feeling eclipsed me so
Knowing you are the future I seek,
Dreaming has become so pleasant
Closing my eyes, your image is all I see,

As these words are being read
I only hope you feel the same,
Tears of joy will be shed
While our Love grows stronger each day

I WAS THINKING ABOUT LEAVEING WIRE

i want to leave wire but i got so many friends here that i care alot about. its all ways drama any more tho. alot of things has made me want to leave iam not going to name them its just i come here to get a lil bit of quite time and time to my self. try to have covs with my friends that i do got on here. but there is all ways some perv or creep that messes it up for the good ppl on here. most of us in imp have been friends for some time. we all get along good and we all know what is going on in eachothers lives and how each and every one of us are doing. that i dont want to give up for nothing. the friends i got here are better then any of my friends out side of here. thats sad to say but its true.


so me leaveing i dont know if it would do me good or cause me to hurt. i think i would hurt more then any thing because of all the friends that i do got here. we have a bond that alot of us dont want to be broken and if i leave that bond will be broken. because i have made a promise that i would stay because of the family that i have came to love on here.

red shes like a sister to me she always knows how to make a person smile even at there worse.

7th has been a really good friend to me. he's hes really a sweet heart when u get to know him.

cookie shes also like a sister to me.

apem is like a brother he always has something to say.

loup shes funny cool and a very nice person.

lach hes a good person a sweet heart reall he tells it like it is and dont care what ppl think.

jas we have talked alot and just became friends and shes kind and careing.

ninaj like a brother hes a sweet heart and he can rite good. he dont have many ppl that dont like him.

md is a good friend hes always there when i need some one to talk to.

hunter shes my big sis she will tell you that. we have been friends for years now it seems
like.

the protecter hes a really good friend hes been there for me alot as well.

cho shes been a friend for a wile shes all ways got something good to say about every one.

neo we have only been friends for a few days but hes sweet.

cuddles is like a sister shes a sweet heart.

mikey is a good person he loves me to death.

art hes all ways wondering how iam doing he worrys about every one but him self and he needs to take better care of him. hes a good friend tho has all ways been there.

these are some of the reasons its makeing it hard for me to make up my mind on going or staying. at this point i dont know what to do iam going to think about it for a few days and see why my mind and heart come up with. my mind is telling me to go and my heart is telling me to stay.

Lost And Confused

Lost And Confused


My knees start to shake
when your in sight,
my minds filled with wonder
my heart with fright.

when will this feeling stop,
when did it start
how can I listen to my mind
without breaking my heart.

I am so confused,
what should I do?
I can't think of anything
except of you.

Should I ignore you
or just give it time
I can't think straight
my heart controls my mind.

Abuse From A Mother Can Leave Marks For A Life Time

Abuse From A Mother Can Leave Marks For A Life Time


The only thing you ever gave me were black and blue eyes,
And it always ended in me letting out cries.

You would come home angry, scream in my face,
Waste no time showing me that I was a disgrace,
Always threatened me, said not to tell,
But everyone knew I was going through hell.

Why should I have to pay for your crime,
Why should I have to take the time,
To cover up the scars and emotions you left for me,
When the teachers and doctors knew I was leaning out, a plea for safety.

I will never forget how you came home at night,
The only emotion I felt was pure fright.

Now that your gone for good,
I can say that I never quite understood,
What I did wrong for you to do that to me,
But now that your gone, I am free.

DOUBTS

DOUBTS



How do I measure my love for you?

Do I need to?

A love that's warm, a warmth that real

Is surely all I need, to bind, to seal




How do I show how deep this love can be?

Do I need to?

A song without the words is haunting; sad and cold

It knows its other self ; seeks its partner to grow old




How do I know Your love for me is true?

Do I need to?

A Moon without a Sun is a World sans light and fun

Together they give permanence; a fruitful course to run



How do I assess the combination of our loves?

Do I need to?

A word without a page lives briefly in the depths of time

You are my page; I live in you, and you in me; your mine



You are my Sun; you warm me with your light

I reflect your soul and hope and the future won't be Night

This future is of Hope and Love and spirits bound together

To meet and amplify the good in life and thus to die not ever




A " BLACK HOLE "sucks in Space and binds to it forever

A link to Other Worlds and to laws as yet unknown

You are my" Black Hole"; suck; I penetrate and ever

Wonder at this love, this hope that I do own

But how do I measure my love for you?

LETS SEE WHAT COMES OF THIS LOL WONDER WHAT FRIENDS WILL ANSWER TOOK IT FROM RED

1. Your Middle Name:
2. Age:
3. Single or Taken:
4. Favorite Movie:
5. Favorite Song or Album:
6. Favorite Band/Artist:
7. Dirty or Clean:
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:
9. How long have we known each other?
10. What's your philosophy on life?
11. Is the bottle half-full or half-empty?
12. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?
13. What is your favorite memory of us?
14. What is your favorite guilty pleasure?
15. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
16. You can have three wishes - what are they?
17. Can we get together and make a cake?
18. Which country is your spiritual home?
19. What is your big weakness?
20. Do you think I'm a good person?
21. What was your best/favorite subject at school?
22. What is your favorite thing about me?
23. If you could change anything about me, would you?
24. What do you wear to sleep?
25. What song reminds you of me?
26. What did you want to be when you were little?
27. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together?

Letting Go

Letting Go


How do you walk away from someone you love
And take the road of friend;
Can you reroute the course you have taken
And start over once again?

I don't really want to let you go
But inside me I know I must;
The times we've loved . . . the times you've left
My heart says stay . . . but it's my mind I must trust.

We have shared so much together
Laughter . . . fun times . . . tears;
Yet sometimes we can't turn back time
We must walk away, and allow ourselves to heal.

I know one day you will be happy
And your soulmate you will find;
I know we each have one out there
Even if for now . . . only in our minds.

Remembrance

Remembrance


he remembers it all,
All the people who had said
They cared, but did they really?

he remembers it all,
The sound of laughter and
How happy he'd been, but was he really?

he remembers it all,
Her arms around him and
She said "I love you," but did she really?

he remembers it all,
The pain he'd felt when she left,
How his heart ached, but was it really?

he remembers it all,
The feeling of being so alone,
The feeling no one cared, but did they really?

But now they'll remember him,
Staring at the knife in his hand
How easy to slit his wrists, but will he really?

Waiting For Something

Waiting For Something



And so it came to be
this isolation that I am
I can only look to me
to find the way it all began -
this confusion, constant
hunger for something more than this
I strive to find this being
that I envision, yet seem to miss.
Could it be that I am empty-
or maybe a little lost?
Could it be that I am lonely,
or seek happiness at any cost?
This never-ending Something
that I am living deep inside,
depicts the illusion of myself
and all I have to hide.

And so it came to be
this isolation that I am
I can only look to me
to find the way it all began -
this confusion, constant
hunger for something more than this
I strive to find this being
that I envision, yet seem to miss.
Could it be that I am empty-
or maybe a little lost?
Could it be that I am lonely,
or seek happiness at any cost?
This never-ending Something
that I am living deep inside,
depicts the illusion of myself
and all I have to hide.

Key To My Heart

Key To My Heart

I had closed the door upon my heart
And wouldn't let anyone in,
I had trusted and loved only to be hurt
But, that would never happen again.

I had locked the door and tossed the key
As hard, and as far as I could,
Love would never enter there again,
My heart was closed for good.

Then you came into my life
And made me change my mind,
Just when I thought that tiny key
was impossible to find.

That's when you held out your hand
And proved to me I was wrong,
Inside your palm was the key to my heart...
You had it all along.

A Love Like No Other

A Love Like No Other

I never felt a love
Like this before
It's a love like no other
Something I have always hoped for

A love with friendship
Humour and heart
A bond so strong
It would never part

A love that makes you smile
From ear to ear
A love that is joyful
Without any fear

A love that is beautiful
From the inside out
A love with no tears,
Pain, or doubt

A love with soul
So tender and true
A love that I have found
Only in you...

Loved By You

You came into my life unexpectedly,
and everything took a turn for the better.
Your warm eyes, your laugh,
the sincere way you speak,
and the kindness you showed me,
all became a part of my life.

As you unfolded yourself to me,
I discovered more and more beauty.
I have never seen so much
gentleness in one person.
Without even knowing it,
you were slowly making a place
for yourself in my heart.

It used to seem so hard at times
to feel so close in a relationship.
But it’s so easy to feel close to you.
I can’t tell you how nice that feels.
I realize now that I had never known
what it meant to be loved
until I was loved by you.

back to the er with my 5 year old

this shit is starting to get old. i have seen the hospital way to much in the past week. my 5year old has been poked and stuck with ivs in here all damn week. her temp was 105.3 when we took her to the er this moring. so we rush her to childerns hospial. well yesterday we had her at the docter every thing seemed to be going ok. well her docter sent us to childerens to get chest xrays and blood work. then when we get to childerns this moring they want blood work and to put another iv in her hand this time. the part that sucked the most out of it is they busted to of her vains trying to get the iv in at that point i was about not to let them try again. that shit hurts on any one i dont care the age but more so in a child. once they got a iv in and her vaine would hold it they got what they needed in her to make her better for now any ways. at this point worried sick cant even say how worried iam because now its beond sick. so they get her temp to brake this time it was she was haveing a reactshion to some kind of meds they had gave her. she hates docters now and i cant say that i blam her what so ever.

she had a rash all over her body she is still red all over and her temp still is spikeing but i seem to be able to control it now. thats a good thing. they now got her on more meds that she dont want to take but has to. trying to get her to take it is a 2 person job because its nasty and we have to hold her down. but we got to get the swelling down and all that shit. they have put her threw hell and i dont want her to go threw any more. iam sick of docters that dont know what they are talking about and what they are doing. when it comes to my kids they need to know what the hells going on or just send me else where. that much i do know.

my stress lvl is way above where it needs to be thats for damn sure and sleep iam starting to wonder what that is. sleep dont mean shit to me rite now. i just want her to be better. me falling apart is one thing her i cant take her falling apart. if i could take her place i would. i would rather me be sick then either one of my kids. thats one thing i know,but this week i would give any thing in the world to be the one laying there in a hospital bed lifeless. its sad and i was crying in the car on the way to the hospital and every thing. i didnt let her see me cry. its hard not to brake down when you have all this shit going on,but i didnt want her to see that i was haveing trouble holding it together because holding it together at this point seems hard. most of the time i stay strong and try not to let any thing bother me. when it comes to your kid the strong part and the no tears part dont work so good. its been a wile sence i have cryed because i hate to show any thing when iam upset or hurt. today i just couldnt hold it in any longer if i would have i would have been holding way to much.

i ask why her and why it couldnt be me? i dont get no answer but i guess its because iam asking why. when you get older you see that asking why how come what if and all that never really gets answered because no one knows why or how come or what might be. so why do we ask. because we hope that some day they will be a answer i guess hell i dont know.

shes home and doing all rite besides when her temp gos up. the she feels like shit. once i get the temp back down shes up runing around again and every thing like a 5 yearold should be doing. she is all so sleeping alot. i try to sleep when she is sleeping that way she has some one up with her.

My Daughter's



The sunshine of your precious smile's

could melt the coldest heart.

It brightens up my dreary day

when we are far apart.

The memory of your little hand's

holding mine so tight

brings a warm glow to my heart

on a cold and dreary night.

Those little arms that hug my neck

will soon be big and strong;

you're growing up so quickly

so it won't be very long.

So I'll take your hugs and kisses now,

cause the day will soon be here,

when you'll think you're much too big,

for me to hold so near.

Daughters Are Special

Daughters Are Special



Daughters are the joy of a mother and father's heart,

beauty and sweetness describe them from the start.

Daughters are special and thought the world of,

which proves they were sent from heaven above.

Daughters will soon be married and grown,

then they may start a family of their own.

Daughters are special; there is no doubt,

once we have them, we can never be without.

My Special Daughter

My Special Daughter



It takes many special qualities

To make a daughter like you,

A lot of care and kindness

And understanding, too...

It takes a special kind of love

That seems to know no end

And the thoughtfulness and patience

Of a true and trusted friend...

It takes many special qualities

To make a daughter like you,

And that's why you

Are loved so much

Today and all year through.

update i guess

well this year has not been a good year so far i mean it seems bad luck is hiting me one rite after anoth. i mean it started the frist day of the new year i tell you that. then it just seemed to have got worse as it went on. i mean frist i was really sick. then i get my self better and no sooner then that happens my oldest gets sick,then my 5 year old gets really sick that is something shes going to have to deal with her hole life. that sucks because i dont want to see my kids go threw any pain. then i feel so helpless because there is nothing i can do to stop her pain or any thing like that. then i had no power with a sick kid for over 24hrs and now shes runing a temp and every thing else tonight. i dont know what the f#y^ to do any more. i just feel like giveing up sometime. and from the way it looks iam going to be going back to the hospital tonight with my 5year old. goddamnit. iam so tired any more. i dont know if iam going to make it threw all this shit that keeps geting threw at me.

i cant sit here and feel sorry for my self. thats not what iam doing. but when u are worried sick about your kids what the hell are u supose to do. then not only that you know that you cant do any thing to make them feel better. its more less feeling sorry for the child. when you cant do nothing to make you child feel better it sucks. i mean yes you can hold them and do the best you can with that but when they are laying in your arms scrameing out in pain what the hell are u supose to do

then when you think that you can sleep threw the night for the frist time in a long time you get woke up. so yeah iam gald in away that i did get woke up tho because if i would have not got woke up i would have not known that she was runing a temp and all that shit. so i ended up wakeing her up but she is all ready ready to go back to bed but i dont know where this nnight is going to land me. i dont know if iam going to have to take her back to the hospital or what at this point iam trying to wait and see how she is feeling in about a hr and then take it from there. shes siting here in my arms rite now i wouldnt have her any where else at this point if shes in my arms i know that she feels safe even if she dose have to go to the hospital.

The Meaning

The Meaning

To love is to share life together
to build special plans just for two
to work side by side
and then smile with pride
as one by one, dreams all come true.

To love is to help and encourage
with smiles and sincere words of praise
to take time to share
to listen and care
in tender, affectionate ways.

To love is to have someone special
one who you can always depend
to be there through the years
sharing laughter and tears
as a partner, a lover, a friend.

To love is to make special memories
of moments you love to recall
of all the good things
that sharing life brings
love is the greatest of all.