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Why do we respond the way we do? Do we let others control how we feel?...

Going to start off giving two links:

"6 Steps to Controlling Your Emotions" -
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-carmen-harra/controlling-your-emotions_b_3654326.html

"Real Love in Marriage: The Truth About Finding Genuine Happiness Now and Forever"
- https://books.google.com/books?id=M1RydbCMDBoC

Sometimes we take other people’s pain as an attack onto ourselves. Meaning, someone might be having a bad day and they don't respond to us like they normally do or should. When this happens we become hurt and sometimes lash back. Then the person thinks we are attacking them because they did not even know they were attacking us. Thus, starting a very bad circle.

Sometimes people are really joking with us and trying to be friendly. However, their way of joking might not feel like a joke to us. This could be because that person is from a different country and we just don't understand each other like people from our own town. Or, it could be, because we are upset today and do not see that the person is really just trying to have fun with us.


From the book:

“Changing Our Feelings About Other People with a Knowledge of Getting and Protecting Behaviors:

Imagine that you and I are in the Bahamas, enjoying a pleasant lunch, a warm tropical breeze, and the soothing music of a live band as we set together by the side of a pool. We’re having a perfect day, but then someone in the pool starts splashing you---Fist on your shoes, then higher up on your pants. You can’t see who it is because there’s a deck chair between you and the person in the pool. At first you ignore it, but eventually you begin to get wet and irritated, and finally you get up from your char to say something to this idiot who’s being so thoughtless. As you stand up, however, to look over the chair that’s in your way, you see that the man splashing you is drowning. He’s only splashing you because he’s thrashing and kicking in the water to keep his head from going under.

How do you feel now? Are you still Angry at this man?”


The book as a few other examples of a person having a bad day. Approach us in a way that we can either take as an attack or as the person just having a bad day. And, it is how we respond to it that could even make the day good or bad.

There are times people are being trolls and trying to cause issues. There are other times when people are just being themselves and since we don't understand them we take offense to it. Also, they might not understand us that our background makes it hard for us to take a particular topic as a joke.


Recap: Don't allow others to have control of your Emotions. Don't react to something without thinking about the issue from different sides. Is the person really trying to hurt me or are they just making a bad joke? Is attacking back better than just spinning the joke and having fun with it? Remember, if you set back and watch a lot of wire drama, it reminds us of grade school. Also, there are times that we think something is happening that really is not happening. We respond to something that is not there.

Have fun on wire, not allow wire to cause any negativity that will affect you in your real life. Once you notice this then take a break from wire or at least a break from the rooms you hang out in that is causing the issues.

--please share---

Issues with the flagging system.

Yes, this is long but please do read it.

______________________________
Some of the members have been telling me lately that the flagging system is broken.

The mod team are trying hard not to issue warnings and things to reports that don't need the warnings. However, I will say, we have to filter though too many junk reports.

Ever hear of the adage, "garbage in, garbage out?" So, the more junk chat reports we get the more likely we are going to give out a few bad warnings.

Mods are users also and human. We do this for free and we don't want to have to be viewed as a chat-killer.

This site is a peer moderated site. Users don't have to have the ability to mute or suspend in order to remind each other of the rules. A user, fairly, reminding each other of the site rules and ToS is not "mini-modding."

The mod team help each other to stay within the rules and the wants of the admins; with out, thinking that the other mod is trying to be a mini-admin. There is no reason why members can't just say, "I don't want to have a mod come in here and babysit us. Can't we all get along or block the bad apples?"

If a person comes in and speaks non-English. There is no reason why the users can't ask the person to speak English and not have to report that user. Of course, if the person keeps doing it then that is when you report.

At times this place reminds me of grade school. Lets see if we can get someone else in trouble for what I start. Lets hide what I do by making what someone else does stand out more. Lets cry wolf at any chance we can. Lets create an issue so I can debate a Mod.

We all have a role to play in the way the community is. The more "self-policing" the community does the less effect you will feel from a mod doing their job. If there is nothing for us to do then no one can be upset for how we do it.

Some of us (users) only hang out in a few rooms. These rooms are like our home away from home. We do not have to call the police in to handle a family fight or if someone comes in and creates drama. We know how to handle this with in the law. So, let's all play are roll. Focus on our selves first. Block before we attack, block before we feel the need to retaliate. It's not always easy. If we need to retaliate then we can take it out side of the chat room in to a PM or Message. Remember to stay with in the rules when you do this.

But, the less drama that is going on in public the less people have to report and the less baby sitting we have to do.

Remember mods want to be able to deal with the new comers, the ones who are just coming to cause issues, and the ones who don't know the rules yet. We really do not want to with users who have been here for years and get caught up in the same drama over and over.

Agree or disagree this is how I feel. Please forward this on so it can be viewed by as many people as we can get to see it. Lets make wire the best Chat Site ever. We can only do that if we work as a team.

Are you anonymous online? Is your personal information safe?

That is a no to both of those. You are not anonymous online. There is some device that knows who you are and where you are accessing the internet. So, with the right information and the right access you can be tracked.

Thank about it this way, you ask your browser (Chrome, FireFox, Internet Explorer, Or whatever) to load up www.wireclub.com. And, it loads. Well, there is data that is going to the server and back to your computer. Each of these bits of information is cared by different hardware along the way. Your homes public internet address (IP) or your mobile device's IP is known. And, your provider can match this IP to your account.

https://www.whatismyip.com/ is just one website that will give you your ipaddress and what is public about it.

Also, http://ip.filefab.com/ is just another view. This shows the information that your browser gives to the webserver. Like, to wire, google, or whatever.

These sites do give you an area that has been assigned to that IP. For example, mine will give you somewhere in Michigan. Normally it is the city.

However you don't need to worry so much about people finding out who you are from that. Normally, it takes a legal action to get the matching IP and Account information. What we all need to be mindful of is the information that we provide or the information that the people we give our information gives it too. In other words, you fill out a form to when a prize from ABC-BoxStore. They can then take that information and sell it to other advertisers. Who, can then list it in a unsecured database that is searchable by the internet and therefore Google. Or, we signup with a social media company like Wireclub or Facbook.

When is the last time you put in your full name into the google box? How about your address, phone number, or other personal identifiable information. You might be surprised on how much stuff is really there about you.

Things you should know about personal online safety:

(1) When you create a Social Media account on Wire, Facebook, or any Other sites that is worth using, you must learn the safety options setup by the system.

(2) Setup the security to only allow those you want to see your information. Everyone, Friends, Friends of friends, People who have a Profile Pic, or whatever.

(3) Make a point to check the settings from time to time to ensure the options you picked are still what you want. Also, there might be new options to use.

(4) Try not to use the same picture on sites you don't want to be linked or found. There are many people who pull pictures off of wire to find out where else that picture is being used.

(5) Use google and other sites to verify what information is listed about you. There are many sites that you might be listed on that will take your information off once they are asked to. However, once its on the internet its on the internet. Just might be harder to find. There are sites that achieve webpages.

(6) Do not put anything on your profiles that you would not want your Boss to find out about. More companies are doing online searches of prospective new hires to find out has much about someone as they can.

This is not an all inclusive list. This list is off the top of my head. I been online since the late 1980s before there was pictures on webpages. Been doing techsupport and other computer related things most of my life. So, I pick up on some of these recommendations. I guess maybe I should look up some sources and make my English 101 and 102 teachers proud. However, these or my personal-Educated views so i don't think I need to prove these are good ideas. I believe they speak for themselves.

However, I was working for a Dailup company and did a little research on keeping kids safe online. I found this http://www.getnetwise.org/ website. Its been a long time since I really was on this site. But, it list things that we all should be mindful of.

Here is two places on wire that you need to know about to setup your security:
https://www.wireclub.com/settings/privacy
https://www.wireclub.com/settings/messaging

and Facebook:

www.facebook.com/settings?tab=security
www.facebook.com/settings?tab=privacy

Those are just two tabs from the settings. It is the users responsibility of a site to learn the security and privacy options and set them to what they feel is safe.

Img: is not mine.

Life with out wire!

Here is a question I been thinking for a while. Life with out Wire or any other online community. What would we do with all that time? Um, spend time in the real world community? What is the real world? Is this the Matrix? Are you the one Or, am I the ONE?!!


But for real. I used to be online for 18 hours a day on chat. How long do you spend on wire and if wire went off line today; what is it that you would be doing instead of reading this post?