 Blog PostsFriends         | Why do we respond the way we do? Do we let others control how we feel?...Going to start off giving two links:"6 Steps to Controlling Your Emotions" - http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-carmen-harra/controlling-your-emotions_b_3654326.html "Real Love in Marriage: The Truth About Finding Genuine Happiness Now and Forever" - https://books.google.com/books?id=M1RydbCMDBoC Sometimes we take other people’s pain as an attack onto ourselves. Meaning, someone might be having a bad day and they don't respond to us like they normally do or should. When this happens we become hurt and sometimes lash back. Then the person thinks we are attacking them because they did not even know they were attacking us. Thus, starting a very bad circle. Sometimes people are really joking with us and trying to be friendly. However, their way of joking might not feel like a joke to us. This could be because that person is from a different country and we just don't understand each other like people from our own town. Or, it could be, because we are upset today and do not see that the person is really just trying to have fun with us. From the book: “Changing Our Feelings About Other People with a Knowledge of Getting and Protecting Behaviors: Imagine that you and I are in the Bahamas, enjoying a pleasant lunch, a warm tropical breeze, and the soothing music of a live band as we set together by the side of a pool. We’re having a perfect day, but then someone in the pool starts splashing you---Fist on your shoes, then higher up on your pants. You can’t see who it is because there’s a deck chair between you and the person in the pool. At first you ignore it, but eventually you begin to get wet and irritated, and finally you get up from your char to say something to this idiot who’s being so thoughtless. As you stand up, however, to look over the chair that’s in your way, you see that the man splashing you is drowning. He’s only splashing you because he’s thrashing and kicking in the water to keep his head from going under. How do you feel now? Are you still Angry at this man?” The book as a few other examples of a person having a bad day. Approach us in a way that we can either take as an attack or as the person just having a bad day. And, it is how we respond to it that could even make the day good or bad. There are times people are being trolls and trying to cause issues. There are other times when people are just being themselves and since we don't understand them we take offense to it. Also, they might not understand us that our background makes it hard for us to take a particular topic as a joke. Recap: Don't allow others to have control of your Emotions. Don't react to something without thinking about the issue from different sides. Is the person really trying to hurt me or are they just making a bad joke? Is attacking back better than just spinning the joke and having fun with it? Remember, if you set back and watch a lot of wire drama, it reminds us of grade school. Also, there are times that we think something is happening that really is not happening. We respond to something that is not there. Have fun on wire, not allow wire to cause any negativity that will affect you in your real life. Once you notice this then take a break from wire or at least a break from the rooms you hang out in that is causing the issues. --please share---   PlayingMusik: This is an excellent blog well written and the quote was well written also and your point of the blog was understood. However, I will not be returning to any chat room on this website ever again because of the horrific abuse that happens here. Grown adults making clique's doesn't make sense to me and I won't be a part of it. I just removed myself from the situation about 2 months ago and I do not miss it. As a matter of fact, I feel much better not having those trolls yapping about what I look like or other hurtful things just to be mean. Wire club is full of bullies and the chat rooms are not fit for sensitive artistically inclined people. I only chatted in the Music room hoping to chat with other musicians and like minded people only to find a group of 30 plus year old trolls with nothing better to do than attack people (me being one of them.) There is a woman in that chat that actually said she contacted my ex husband and my Son online. She still has quotes from me on her profile which is just weird. Wireclub has chosen who they want to chat here and it isn't me. I have bigger fish to fry than to deal with the nonsense in these chatrooms that lead to nothing. The music room doesn't even pass music anymore. It should be titled "The I have nothing better to do" room. Fair well Wireclub (:  Evelina_ in reply to PlayingMusik: PlayingMusik: he is busy arguing in Bingo room argue with teen . 's, I mean who made him a Mod ??  lotusblossomxx: Excellent blog! there is also The Four Agreements book, a short and highly effective tool, understanding who you are and understanding what you want from this social environment. You explained it so proficiently. Ty! Evelina_ in reply to MrHamster: PlayingMusic was here be4 u even born so Respect this person, Please Evelina_ in reply to Evelina_: Abuse of position of trust !" CHAT ROOM MODERATOR shouldn't be argue with us . . We r actually paid we are in wire Gold . ! and urself ? ! sitting here argue with every1 who disagree with you1 ¬! Behave urself ! ,   MrHamster: I miss read the above. thought someone was saying she was a host. I do understand stand where she is coming from. Each room here on wire has its own dynamics. When I was younger I tended to only like being in rooms where there was only a handful of users. i felt it was better to get to know people. I never talk down about any user. Defiantly not in public. So, if you (Evelina or PlayingMusic) thought I was. I am sorry about that. Wire Mods, nor anyone really, can ever make everyone happy. We do our best to help remove issues. However we need users to also use their tools. Some people get upset because I keep telling them to block people. I understand that some feel this is a never ending process with some trolls. I block them and they keep coming back. I can say the something. I suspended/ban them and they keep coming back. Any place we go there are going to be people we don't get along with. Just because I don't like person-a and anything they say to me is just going to make me madder doesn't mean that I can get them into legal issues.(this being an example in real life). Same goes on wire. Just because I do not like a person doesn't mean we can get mods to boot them. And, yes, we do have people who contact us trying to get a person booted just because the person asking does not like the person they want booted. Funny thing is. Sometimes we can have both users asking us to boot the other person at the same time in different PM windows. Some of you have been on wire for years and the people you who want us to boot have also been on here for years. Therefore you are tired of each other. You know where each others buttons are. You don't have to say much to get the other person going. Users are not always able to see when a mod takes action on people so you can say "Mods don't do anything." However, we do. Maybe not when you think we should or maybe not as fast. We try to be fair. Though we are human and so it might not look like we are. Its all about objectivity and subjectivity. |
and light heartness are a must.... Thank you for sharing!!!!