 Blog PostsFriends        | BlogThe Government!!The government, today, announced that it's changing its emblem from a Bald Eagle to a CONDOM, because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of dicks, and gives you a sense of security while you're being screwed. It just doesn't get more accurate than that! Re-post if you agree!!..Blonde Password..During a recent password audit by Google, it was found that a blonde was using the following password:“MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento” When asked why she had such a long password, she rolled her eyes and said: “Hello! It has to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.” When I say I'm Broke -I'm BrokeWHEN I SAY I'M BROKE - I'M BROKE!A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. 'Good morning,' said the young man. 'If I could take a couple minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners... ' 'Go away!' said the old lady. ''I'm broke and haven't got any money!'' and she proceeded to close the door.. Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open...''Don't be too hasty!'' he said. ''Not until you have at least seen my demonstration..'' And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet. ''Now, if this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder.'' The old lady stepped back and said, ''Well let me get you a fork, 'cause they cut off my electricity this morning." Refugee!!A beautiful fairy appeared one day to a destitute Mexican refugee outside an Arizona immigration office.“Good man,” the fairy said, “I’ve been sent here by President Obama and told to grant you three wishes, since you just arrived in the United States with your wife and eight children.” The man told the fairy, “Well, where I come from we don’t have good teeth, so I want new teeth, maybe a lot of gold in them.” The fairy looked at the man’s almost toothless grin and — PING !– he had a brand new shining set of gold teeth in his mouth! “What else?” asked the fairy, “Two more to go.” The refugee claimant now got bolder. “I need a big house with a three-car garage in Annapolis on the water with eight bedrooms for my family and the rest of my relatives who still live in my country.. I want to bring them all over here” — and — PING !– in the distance there could be seen a beautiful mansion with a three-car garage, a long driveway,and a walkout patio with a BBQ in an upscale neighborhood overlooking the bay. “One more wish,” said the fairy, waving her wand. “Yes, one more wish. I want to be like an American with American clothes instead of these torn clothes, and a baseball cap instead of this sombrero. And I want to have white skin like Americans” —and — PING ! — The man was transformed – wearing worn-out jeans, a Baltimore Orioles T-shirt, and a baseball cap. He had his bad teeth back and the mansion had disappeared from the horizon. “What happened to my new teeth?” he wailed. “Where is my new house?” THIS IS GOOD . . . . . . . . NO, ACTUALLY THIS IS VERY GOOD . . . . . . The fairy said, “Tough shit, Amigo, now that you are a American, you have to fend for yourself.” |
