Hidden fear

In my own mind with my own thoughts I am alone
fear and anxiety I have, but is never shown
My smile, my eyes, do nothing but hide
Behind an idea that I am fine
Death and destruction all I know
Love and compassion I am not shown
I walk around with a smile, for the world to see
Though I am not free
Depression, sadness, and anger is all I see
I bare this cross due to my choices in life
Though no one will ever see my personal strife
To myself I keep, I do not want others to see
What really lays beneath this façade, what is real
A broken person, a broken heart
Joy and happiness I do not feel
The loving touch of a woman, I wish I can steal
though I know it will never be for real
seems no one can love and care
for someone that can only scare
only thing I can count on to be there
is another day full of loneliness and despair

Letters To heaven

You left me here all alone,
In this world, nowhere to be shown
In heaven you stay,
There is so much I want to say
I think to myself how to get letters to you
an Idea that comes to mind,
Childish and silly, but only way I can find
Balloons filled with helium and letters attached You get them I pray
just little note, saying I miss you I love you,
and wondering why In heaven you are but here I stay
with anguish in my heart and feeling of despair
I send one every day,
in hopes you find them there
My words, my feelings, my love
sent to you in heaven above
on balloons full of helium,
floating higher and higher I wait for an answer,
the memories, away I can’t shove
In my dreams there you are,
happiness I can’t compare
I wonder if the letters got there to you,
that you know what I’ve done down here
My thoughts my feelings I share
My soul is vulnerable and bare
If you get my letters to heaven
Please let me know you get them
and you are there I miss you,
I can hardly bare

A Love Found

I walk in the moonlight
On a beach that leads out of sight
The water, the sky
So beautiful I want to sigh
I look up and see a bright star
Wondering if there is someone afar
Someone that is thinking of me
Wishing for something to be
Something that at this time is hard to see
Then I see a sight that I will never forget
A beautiful face of a woman
No flaws, a perfect angel sent from heaven
Then I meet this person of beauty
Someone for me to cherish
But not be selfish
A gift given to me, her heart
Then a day come, the Thought Till Death Do Us Part
I believe, but believe in more
Past death, for eternity
As you can see
This person I am talking about
"Is you!" I shout
I love you and will do so
With everything I can show

Apology Promise

I owe you an apology
Something that I should have done in many ways
I am not perfect, I am not a God
I try to take care you, I say "I love you"
At times it seems as if I'm a fraud
That I am not, I hope you can believe
To hurt you that thought, I cannot conceive
My heart all yours and forever there
No one that I know, I will never make you share
Again I hope you know I care
I say I am sorry, that you will never get hurt
No matter what I do or even can
You sometimes still get let down or the sort
Your heart you have given to me in trust
And I sometimes see the cracks in the crust
The outer Layer on your heart
Cracking and splitting
In pain and my deceiving
I do not mean to, I do not want to
But things I do sometimes make that happen
For that I am sorry and sometime in tears
I feel bad, like I am no longer there
For that I am sorry and will forever be there
I hope you can take this as I mean it and begin to repair
Till then we will be there for one another
Always and Forever!

Second Chances

You ask me why I love you
I tell you I do not know
You ask why do I care
I wish I could show
But all I can do
Is look at you in a complete star
I lost the ability to talk
And my knees are to weak to walk
I do not know why, I cannot explain
Maybe it's the past for which I am ashamed
Knowing that I hurt you in the littlest form
I look at myself, and scorn
For my love I have hurt
Beyond what I can comprehend
For that I feel I should be condemned
Not to have you by my side
No matter how hard I try
But you have not forsaken me with that
For I have another gift, a second chance
I will not ruin it this time by circumstance
For I have a love for you
that will never end
And will forever be true

Lost Love

I was an angel from heaven above
Was sent to help you
But then with you I feel in love
I want so much to touch you
To show you the capability of my love
My powers of immortality I gave up
To be able to feel your touch
I track you down, I do my part
To show you I can feel, to show you my heart
To protect you, to love you, to comfort you
Then you are taken away
You I could not protect from harm
I lost you soon after I found you
My heart torn
In to pieces, between pain and faith
To hear your voice, to feel your touch
To see your fear
And to even smell your hair, throw you a ball
Tis better to love and lose
Then not to love at all...

My Strength to You

You are having a bad time in your life
You do not think you can overcome or survive
But I am telling you that you can
Your heart, your mind are strong
Though It seems you need help
I will be there to step up, take you in my arms
To let you shine to give you strength
So that you can pursue and succeed
To see you happy is what I need
To give you wings and watch you fly
So happy and so high
To see you shine
That is what I will so
My strength and power
I give to you!
And all I ask in return
That you fight with your all
See that you pursue though
My Strength will always be yours and true.

Your Baby, Your Love

Your new baby, a life, a gift from the heaven
The love you show, to explain you could not begin
Holding the baby you feel at peace,
Such a fragile life, that will become strong
With your love, your compassion
Then for some reason you do not know
The life was taken, anguish and hurt you show
All you can do is cry and wonder why
Why was my baby taken, what wrong did I do
You get angry at your self, and blame you
Though there is no answer, what do you do?
Some try to forget and move on,
Others cant seem to grasp that life is gone
Your heart shattered in pieces, just like glass
You don’t know if you can ever put it back together
People tell you that prayer will help and heal,
But you think that baby was not theirs
How can they know, what right do they have
To say sorry, to try and console
You look to God for answers but they don’t come
You wonder why your baby has to be gone
That answer though you may never be sure
Just know that the love you have will always be pure
Your baby will always be above
Looking down on you, showing you its love
Rest easy tonight, for your child, your love
Is well taken care of
And will be in your arms once again
When the time has come.

Surpressed Love

Many times together
We had fun and thought it was forever
Somthing is lost of forgot
We may have moved to fast,
Thought it would last
I rememebr the happy days
Also remember the fights in many ways
Years go by, we lose sight of each other
Then one day you call, something came up
THe love of which I thought was gone
I found out that love lasts forever
Nothing I can do or say
Will ever take that away
There is a saying that we say
"Let your love fly"
"If she returned then it was meant to be"
There is somthing here that I can see
I still love you and maybe you still love me
Enoguh to the point you called to see
I let you free
I let you go, tried to forget
I couldn't let go or forfeit
My heart in strain, the emotions surpressed
All these emotions compressed
Come to full life again
What do I do, where do I begin
Do I follow my heart?
Or do I forget, let it all fall apart?
I love you, I really love you
And I don't know where to start.

Love or Not

I wander with in my mind
looking for something I cannot find
passing by locked doors as if in a mase
those locked away are feelings
feelings and memories of hurt and sadness and regrets
that of which I wish I could forget
What am I looking for I do not know
Wish some one, the way that would show
happiness and contentment am I looking for
I don't know but I seem to be lost
What I thought I had, was taken away
Pain and suffering i always have,
What do i do what do i say
To get this all to disappear
Forever to be gone never again to appear
Was my heart false to me
Oh why can I not see
am I just so dense or blind to the truth
I do not know, can some one please show
Me a way to take all this pain away
To take care of a seed let a flower grow
To show love and compassion, let love show
The way to happiness the way to contentment
Or am I destined to be alone in confinement?