Story in the making. Opinions needed...

So... I've had this idea in my head for a story for quite some time now... and this is what I have written thus far... your constructive criticism would be amazingly helpful right about now...

Thanks guys


Ellie put down her hairbrush, looked in the mirror and sighed. No matter how much of an effort she made, she was still nowhere near the elegance, glamour, and beauty that her sister was. Turning side on into profile, she looked down her body. Despite the 10 kilograms that she had removed from her frame, she could still feel like the fat lump that she had always been. It may not be very exciting, a long sleeved black top over a pair of dark wash skinny jeans, but it was the best she could come up with without looking like a frump, or worse, a grapefruit that had been shoved into a stocking. Her moment of self - loathing was interrupted by the delightful chirping MIDI sound of her ringtone. According to caller ID, Mum needed a word.
“Hi Mum!” She chirped in an attempt to sound full of life
“We are all ready now, we are swinging by to come pick you up, just making sure you’re ready” Her Mother responded. She had almost forgotten. Today was the big launch of something fancy that Mia was modeling for. Why she had to attend? She did not know.
“Yep! Just deciding which shoes to wear” a bit of a lie, everyone knew that she would wear the baby blue ballet flats.
“I think you should wear those really lovely kitten heels that your cousin Billie gave you! I think they would really suit you, and for an event like this, you need to be a bit glam and those silly flat shoes of yours have been done to death. Don’t wear those” Ellie sighed, she couldn’t walk in heels, they weren’t very comfortable and they had a ghastly bow over the toe which in her opinion looked ridiculous.
“Ok Mum!”
“See you in five!”
Throwing the phone on to her desk, Ellie rolled her eyes, she loved and appreciated her Mother, but she was always trying to set standards so high for Ellie since Mia had been signed to the Modeling agency. She disliked it immensely, yes she had gone to a lot of effort to lose weight, but whatever she did in beauty or fashion never seemed to please her Mother. She’d always been the type of woman who liked things to be visually appealing and had gone on and on and on to her for years before Mia’s big break about losing weight, getting her eyebrows plucked and so on and so forth. She sighed once more as she plunged her feet into the hideous shoes. Almost ready to cry, she picked up her phone, squished it into her silver clutch alongside her ID and bankcard, one last primp in the mirror and she stepped out of her room.

“Ooooh, girl you are looking fine!” Exclaimed her housemate, Kelly. Blushing, Ellie gave her a little twirl. “Thanks Kel.”
“No, seriously, you are looking so good that weight just fell off you! You look beautiful in those jeans, those curves are dangerous!” Kelly let out a little grunt as if she were being lecherous. “Here, have a shot of courage before you leave!” In Kelly’s hand was a shot glass of what gave the appearance of vodka, but knowing her housemates love of spirits, one really couldn’t tell. “Thanks, I really need this!”
“Down the hatch!”
She felt the burn all the way down, it was strong, but she really needed it if she was going to spend an evening with her Mother and her sister. As she placed the glass back on the bench the familiar sound of her Mothers car horn echoed through her house. Ellie’s house was right on the road; they heard every bit of road noise humanly possible. As Ellie exited, she heard Kelly bellow, “Bring me back something fancy! Don’t sleep with any strange looking men! Even if they are models!”
Stepping into the car, the look on her Mothers face was less than impressed.
“You could have made a bit more of an effort!” Mother sighed as she rotated the steering wheel.
“Mum, what are you on about? These are the jeans we bought from that super fancy designer place, they cost like $300. I’m pretty sure they are my most effort making clothes I have.”
“You could have worn some make up, too”
“I am wearing make up!”
“You are?”
She sounded genuinely shocked, as they came up to a red light; Mother swirled around in her seat to gaze at Ellie’s face as she pointed at her eyes, face and lips.
“What? BB cream, shimmery gold eye shadow and sheer pink lip gloss. That’s not appropriate for an event like this, where’s the eyeliner? Where’s the red lippy? This is high fashion, Ellie. Not a night at the local bistro!”
As the light turned green Ellie shifted in her seat and stared out the windscreen, seething. Mother always had the ability to make her feel like she was never as good or as pretty as Mia. It wasn’t pleasant, despite her Arts degree and numerous good deeds, charity work and sellout performances with the local theatre company, she never felt like she was as good as her sister, who didn’t finish High School so she could chase a career in standing around looking sexual. The silence seemed to stretch on forever until the next red light.
“Have you lost any more weight?”
The bloody nerve! Thought Ellie.
“No Mum, I haven’t been on the scales for almost a month, I wanted to take a bit of a break from the constant weighing and measuring”
“You don’t want to gain the weight back though, do you?”
“No, Mum. However, I would like a moment to love and appreciate my body before I go any further”
“Sounds a bit silly if you ask me”
At this point, Ellie was quite pleased that there weren’t any sharp objects in sight. The drive continued in silence until they pulled up outside the convention centre. It was a little weird; they had had a parking space reserved especially for them.
“Alright, here we are” Mother said as they exited the vehicle.
“Just remember to smile at all times, don’t eat the canapés, and try to look interested. I do hope that no one would think that you’re related to Mia, though.”
Smiling through the rage Ellie walked through the main entrance.

So, what do you think?

Me singing Christina Perri's "Jar Of Hearts"

Here's another one from my performance assessment!

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enjoy!

Me singing Adele's "Hometown Glory"

Hey hey y'all!

Here is the first clip from my end of years this year, this is my version of "Hometown Glory" from Adele's first album "19"

Enjoy!

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Thanks for watching!

My Mid year performance assessment 2012! :)

Hello! Just thought that I would put all the videos of me at my performance assessment this year in order just in case anyone wanted to watch the whole thing! Just while I'm preparing for my end of year performance assessment which will happen in November. So... here you are!

1. Make You Feel My Love
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2. Songbird
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3. At Last
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4. Halo
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5. Lovesong
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6. A Case Of You
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Hope you enjoy this! I love you guys!

Here's some more singing from me!

Hello! More Videos of me singing... these are from my Mid Years Performance assessment which was on the 10th of August 2012. I haven't got the first song I did yet... but I'll have it soon I'm sure... at the moment I've got songs 2 and 3... so I hope you guys enjoy them!

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That one was Songbird by Eva Cassidy (my namesake song )

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and that was At Last by Etta James

NEWSFLASH!!! me singing a song!!! :)

Hey hey party people! hope you're all having a lovely night or day whatever the heck the time of day is wherever on earth you guys are living! i'm in New Zealand so current time of day is... 9:50pm so yea i recorded this a few hours ago into my iMovie... so i hope you guys like it... feedback both good and bad is very much appreciated so enjoy!!!



love to you all! have a good one!

yup... you guessed it... she's singing again...

yup... this is the last one from my performance assessment... but the major problem is that i got cut off!!! my mum's sim card in her video camera got full so... hence the shortened performance... so apologies for the rather abrupt ending... lol

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i know... it's another video... i'm sorry!

here we go... this is another song that i did at my end of year performance assessment last year... yea sorry to all those haters of Lady Gaga... yea i'm sorry that i love her... ummm yea... i did flub some lyrics... even though i just wrote that i hope none of you guys notice! lol

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enjoy!
love you guys!

guess who was really bored... silly video!

hey ummm i was really bored so ummm... i did something silly... so here i am sharing it with you... if you think this is as nuts as i think it is... then i'm glad that i have you guys as friends!

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enjoy this! coz i actually had fun doing this...

me singing... a song... who knew? :P

Here ya go folks... here's a bit of country music for you... well... sort of... this is me singing Sheryl Crow's rendition of "The First Cut Is The Deepest" i love this song and I hope you guys do too!

feel free to leave as many comments as you like! love you guys!

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