Smart-Ass Poem

It’s just a little poem
But it really isn’t
It doesn’t rhyme
It has no scansion
(that word is in the dictionary … look it up)


It’s broken up into sections
That look kind of like verses

But there’s not really
Any logical
Reason

For the words to be broken up this way
It just makes the whole thing
Appear
More
Poem-like

It’s not really a poem

Some lines are, for no particularly logical reason, really long and seem to just go on forever and ever without any end in sight until the line actually somehow does come to an end, and some other lines are very

Short

A
N
D …

You
…. Can
…….. Also
…………Do
…………….Other
………………..Things
…………….To
…………Make
……..It
….Seem
Interesting

When it really isn’t

you don’t really
have to have the first
word of the line
be
capitalized
if you don’t want it to be

And so, you ask, why am I writing this non-poem poem?
The answer, my friend, isn’t blowing in the wind
The answer isn’t blowing in the wind
(apologies to BD)

The answer is …
Boredom
(and you actually read this thing, you dumbass!)
(Ha ha ha ha ha!)

Lots Of Mushrooms

I have found that I love to shoot photos of mushrooms. For some reason, I find them to be photogenic, interesting, and I simply like shooting photos of them. Here's some that I shot on February 24, 2009 (if you look closely at the first pic, at the bottom edge of the mushroom, you'll see a little slug beginning to climb up onto it, and in the second pic, he's arrived upon his mushroom throne):

Ouch!

I read the “Insurance Claims” blog of bishbashbosh, and it reminded me of something I read a long time ago. Unfortunately, I don’t have the original text, so I’ll be recreating it from memory, but I remember this story rather well, so it should be OK.

Let’s call this story “Ouch!”

Taken from an injury insurance claim:

I was hired as a laborer at a construction site where a building was being constructed. The foreman instructed me to move a large pile of bricks from the second story of the building down to the ground level.

I rigged a beam, with a pulley on it. I strung a rope through the pulley, and attached a wooden barrel to the rope. I then pulled the barrel up to the second story and tied off the end of the rope to hold it there.

I went up to the second story and filled the barrel with bricks. I then returned to the ground level and untied the end of the rope so as to lower the barrel back down. I didn’t realize how heavy the barrel would be, filled with bricks as it was. The barrel plummeted downwards, and taken by surprise, I instinctively held onto the rope, and was whisked upwards as the barrel full of bricks came down.

At the halfway point, I collided with the barrel it traveled downward and I was hauled up on the rope. As the barrel continued downward, and I continued upward, my head slammed into the beam that I had rigged, and my fingers were jammed into the pulley.

The barrel hit the ground with such force that the bottom split open, spilling most of the bricks out. At that moment, the barrel became much lighter then I am, and I plummeted back down to the ground, still instinctively holding onto the rope. Again, at the halfway point, I collided with the barrel as it was being pulled upward. I continued downward at a high rate of speed, and landed on the pile of bricks.

At this point, I must have been confused, because I finally let go of the rope. The barrel, still containing a number of bricks, fell back downward, hitting me in the head. At that point I was rendered unconscious, and woke up in the hospital.

People I Own

1. Me

2. Myself

3. I

Cipher & Puzzle #2

NEWS FLASH! ANOTHER HINT HAS BEEN ADDED FOR YOUR DINING AND DANCING PLEASURE! (see below)



This is the second cipher that I’ve produced for placement in WireClub. This one, in a way, is no harder than the first, although it is much more elaborate. In concept, it’s not really that much harder.

This cipher is actually more than a cipher. It’s a combination of a cipher and a riddle. You’ll need to solve one to solve the other.

If you can solve this cipher/riddle, it will lead you to an essay that I’ve written. This essay tells you, in great detail, all about my experiences in WireClub. It bares it all. It tells everything. I expect that no one will get to read it, but give it a go if you care for a challenge.

Let me provide a hint or two to get you started. First, all of the information you need can be found easily within WireClub if you happen to look in the right place, and in the right way. And second, the first step to solving the cipher/riddle is right before your eyes at this very moment.

Good luck!

14 8 25 13 – 5 16 3 – 25 11 26 3 – 9 14 – 11 – 22 16 11 4 11 22 5 3 4 – 5 16 11 5 – 4 3 12 8 13 3 12 – 2 8 5 16 8 25 – 11 – 12 9 25 15 – 5 16 11 5 – 4 3 12 8 13 3 12 - 2 8 5 16 8 25 – 11 25 – 11 19 24 7 26 – 5 16 11 5 – 4 3 12 8 13 3 12 – 2 8 5 16 8 25 – 5 16 3 – 22 11 5 11 19 9 15 – 9 14 – 26 6 – 16 3 4 9 – 5 16 11 5 – 4 3 12 8 13 3 12 – 2 8 5 16 8 25 – 2 8 4 3 22 19 7 24 . 16 8 25 5 : 25 9 22 5 7 4 25 11 19 – 15 4 3 15 11 4 8 9 7 12 – 2 8 19 13 – 12 2 8 25 3 .

Here's a little more hintage for ... well, you know who you are:

First:
"Beginning" is the operative word ... give strong consideration to what that means.
Second:
The last cipher is "hidden" in plain view.

Stolen from Dawny (sort of)

Describe ME in one word, just one single word. Leave me a comment with the one word. Then post

this message and see how many strange & interesting things they say about you.

This is [supposed to be] really fun - you decide.



Here's how to play:
1. Leave me a comment with one word that you think describes me.
2. Then post your own blog with this message, and see what people say
about you when limited to one word!!!

The Game is on!

100

Re-Stolen from Lollerskates ...

Have you...

1. taken a picture naked?
yes
2. painted your room?
yes
3. made out with a member of the same swz?
no
4. drove a car?
yes
5. danced in front of your mirror?
no
6. have a crush?
yes
7. been dumped?
yes
8. stole money from a friend?
no
9. gotten in the car with people you didnt know?
yes
10. been in a fist fight?
yes
11. had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?
yes
12. had feelings for a friend?
yes
14. made out with a stranger?
yes
15. met up with a member of the opposite sx^ somewhere?
yes
16. left your house with out telling your parents?
yes
17. had a crush on your neighbor?
no
18. ditched school to do something more fun?
yes
19. slept (not had swx) in a bed with a member of the same s%#?
yes
20. seen someone die?
yes
21. been on a plane?
yes
22. kissed a picture?
no
23. slept in until 3?
yes
24. miss someone right now?
yes
25. laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by?
yes
26. made a snow angel?
no
27. played dress up?
no
28. cheated while playing a game?
no
29. been lonely?
yes
30. fallen asleep at work/school?
yes
31. been to a bar?
yes
32. felt an earthquake?
yes
33. touched a snake?
yes
34. ran a red light?
yes
35. been suspended from school?
yes
36. had detention?
yes
37. been in a car accident that you didnt cause?
yes
38. hated the way you look?
yes
39. witnessed a crime?
yes
39. been the person doing the crime?
yes
40. pole danced?
no
41. been lost?
yes
42. been to the opposite side of the country?
yes
43. felt so sick you thought you might die?
yes
44. cried yourself to sleep?
yes
46. sang karaoke?
no
47. done something you told yourself you wouldn’t?
yes
48. laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose?
yes
49. caught a snowflake on your tongue?
no
50. kissed in the rain?
yes
51. sang in the shower?
yes
52. had sy* in a park?
yes
53. had a dream where you were married?
no
54. glued your hand to something?
no
55. got your tongue/”arm” stuck to a flag pole?
no
56. ever gone to school partially naked?
no
57. been a cheerleader?
no
58. sat on a roof top?
yes
59. didn’t take a shower for a week?
yes (incarcerated with 1200 other people, no showers provided)
60. ever too scared to watch scary movies alone?
no
61. played chicken?
no
62. been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?
yes
64. broken a bone?
yes
65. been easily amused?
yes
66. laughed so hard you cried?
yes
67. mooned/flashed someone?
yes
68. cheated on a test?
no
69: forgotten someones name?
yes
70. slept naked?
yes
71. gone skinny dipping?
yes
73. blacked out from drinking?
yes
74. played a prank on someone?
yes
75. gone to a late night movie?
yes
76. made love to anything not human?
no
77. failed a class?
yes
78. choked on something you’re not supposed to eat?
no
79. played an instrument for more than 10 hours in total?
yes
80. been cheated on?
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
81. did you celebrate the 4th of July?
Yes
82. thrown strange objects?
yes
83. felt like killing someone?
no
84. felt like running away?
yes
86. did drugs?
yes
87. had detention and not attend it?
no
89. made a parent cry?
no
90. cried about someone?
yes
91. had sy& with more than one person in a 24 hour period?
yes
92. dated someone you didn’t even like?
no
93. had/have a dog?
yes
95. own an instrument?
no
96. been in band?
yes
97. drank 25 sodas in a day?
no
98. broken a CD?
no
99. shot a gun?
yes
100. had feelings for one of your best friends?
yes

I Got Tagged By Karma

Rules:
Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to post a comment on this blog with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. When your finished commenting this, post the rules in your blog with your answers and a list of 25 people to be tagged.

You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you. blah. (Note: these rules were copied / pasted from Karma's blog.)

1. I’m a staunch agnostic.
2. I love music just about more than anything else in existence.
3. Although I love music, my hearing is severely compromised, and appears to be continuously getting worse.
4. I’m very lazy.
5. I’m compulsive about spelling. Spelling errors make me cringe, especially when they’re mine.
6. I can roll a joint more perfectly than any person in the world.
7. I don’t get high anymore, but will occasionally get a little bit drunk.
8. Some of the best, most precious and savored moments of my life came about because I was high.
9. Although my favorite musician is Frank Zappa, I spent many years as a fanatical Deadhead, and saw them play something like 450 times over the course of 23 or 24 years.
10. My life has essentially been dedicated to having fun.
11. In pursuing fun, the most fun thing I ever found to do was to be at a Grateful Dead concert on New Year’s Eve. I could fill pages on how elaborate that particular ritual was for my friends and me. Nothing else in my experience came even remotely close.
12. I’m utterly lacking in ambition (in the conventional sense, at least).
13. I love to read while food enters my body.
14. I love to read while food exits my body.
15. I have a wide streak of juvenilia.
16. I don’t own a cell phone.
17. I often dream about being in WireClub, and actually see these dreams in text.
18. There are two people in WireClub who hold a severe and unwarranted grudge against me.
19. I hold a grudge against one person in WireClub, although it’s very, very slowly decreasing in intensity.
20. I love playing poker. I’m not a bad player either.
21. When doing, I often overdo.
22. I like both cheese and bacon on my burger.
23. I absolutely love doing small things for strangers, like holding a door open, or giving nice, precise helpful directions.
24. I’m a World War II buff. (Why is the word “buff” always used in this context?)
25. I love a good practical joke.

People I "tag", in alphabetical order (Note: I've not tagged anyone that Karma has already tagged. I supposed I could also check each and everyone of those people and not tag anyone that they tagged, but I'll simply stop at Karma's list):

~WildMagic~
acidburnkiss
Chachy
emj88
freaki
Glowingtoad
HvyMtlBkr
jemma
just_bored_enuf
Karma (rules dictate this choice, although I would have anyway)
lois_lane
lucyknickers
Lulu80
piNkRasTasBuNny
RayRay
rosy_cheeks
scissors_08
shells333
southernbelle
sparkle37
Sugar_and_Spice
Summer
UnfrostedPoptart
WhatsComin2Ya
x_k3rri_x

Note: a few really good friends have been purposefully omitted because I expect a couple of other friends to include them in their lists, and it just seemed to me to be the right thing to do. (Does that sentence make any sense?)

10 Years Ago ...

Text deleted (It was meant to remain there for one single day only. The ensuing comments will remain.)

Songs I would put on a road trip mix CD

Ray Charles: "Hit The Road Jack"
The Allman Brothers Band: "Stormy Monday Blues"
Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Armstrong: "Summertime"
Bob Dylan: "Ballad Of A Thin Man"
Aretha Franklin: "Doctor Feelgood"
Jimi Hendrix: "All Along The Watchtower"
Rolling Stones: "Satisfaction"
Simon & Garfunkel: "The Boxer"
Muddy Waters: "The Same Thing"
Stevie Wonder: "Higher Ground"

WC, Religion, and "Pervs" Part Four & Addendum

Apparently, JJ73 and his sidekick Pinkado have softened their stance on "pervs". They now are "welcom[ing] all" into their "God's Children" room, and I suppose that must include "pervs" (whatever they are) as well. Personally, I'm glad to see this apparent change in attitude. Yay! for tolerance!

ADDENDUM, APRIL 29, 2009!

JJ is now serving up drinks, rather than morality (see left photo). There's hope for the world!