Just'a Lil' Bit of stuff

<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt">It's funny how much some people change, looking back on who I was in High School it doesn't seem I’ve changed much at all. Yet according to some of the people I once spoke to they claim I have changed beyond recognition. I don’t see it, maybe I’m not supposed too. It seems to me that they have changed, from the people I once cared about to people I wouldn’t pay attention too. I don’t know I guess it’s just funny how each person sees each situation through a different set of eyes (now that I read over that sentence I think Dur, they don’t all have the same eyes). But what I mean is we all see the same situation in a different light. I guess that’s what school is though, a time of change.<BR><BR></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt">School was a good time for me; I wasn’t a stupid kid so I always passed my classes. But that’s not the point of this blog now is it? No. through out high school I was told I can go far. Now for the school I went to that was really something? In fact most of the people I used to hang around with would have been great if they had applied themselves. Instead they spend they’re social security check at the casino hoping one day to hit the big win. *sigh* I guess it’s just how it was meant to be. After high school everything changed I mean everything. I had quite a few close friends in high school the whole way through no one really dropped out that I was close with. And if they did I’d see them on the weekends or what ever when I would be having a party for no reason what so ever. <BR><BR>I saw the world changing around me. It was crazy. I made so many mistakes, and even though I knew they would turn out bad I still did it. I let my heart get broken for stupid reasons. And let good friends hurt me using the excuse, she didn’t mean it. I saw a school be brought to a stand still in 2003, a community brought together over a tragedy it’s sad that it had to come to that. But from 2003 – 2005 there was no bullying, no harassment, between groups. Sadly it was within individual groups but it was sad, because it was usually one person screwing up friendships, working on their next attack. From a line in Chris Brown’s Song ‘Say Goodbye’ “There’s never a right time to say goodbye” In that song he’s talking about a break up. But it relates directly to the tragedy in 2003. <BR><BR>Losing someone hurts there is no doubt about that. People say time heals a broken heart, but can they tell you just how much time? No. It depends on the individual, as crisis and grief is idiosyncratic. I love writing it’s basically what has kept me from having a mental breakdown, when no one is there for me to debrief. Some people laugh at me when I say I write poetry, and then cry when they actually read it. “Poetry is for weak people” he said. “Then I must be week” I replied as I handed him the piece of paper. I watched his eyes as he read. The tears welled in his eyes, as he would be touched the same way I felt after writing the poem. The poem always hits people harder if they know what you’re talking about. I touched his shoulder he looked up, I smiled then walked away. The feeling of making him cry made me happy, Sad I know, but it meant I touched someone, someone who didn’t believe in the power of poetry. <BR><BR>Once I said that to someone “Some people will never understand the power of poetry” they looked at me like I was stupid. I guess they are one of those people who’ll never understand it. I think part of the power of poetry is the fact it can make a grown man cry. Or make a friend see a whole other side to a friend because in a poem you can be who you want to be. You can let your words flow free, you don’t have to wear a mask so to speak. I had a wake up call, reading some of my friend’s poetry. I must admit I was scared, her mask had me fooled. But I felt touched to be able to read her poetry because it meant she felt comfortable enough to take off the mask and show me what she truly felt. Our friendship only grew stronger when we were both faced by similar family events and then similar betrayal by the same so called friend. She is one of 4 people I’m still as close to as I was when I was in high school. It’s so crazy, because the person who I wasn’t close to at all in high school is one of my best friends now. She was called a loser in high school I used to stick up for her, I knew she wasn’t she’s always been a really sweet girl and I’m happy she’s finally found happiness. <BR><BR>But as for me changing, to those who think I’ve changed. If I’ve changed at all it’s for the better. I guess only one of us can say that, because I know only one of us is doing something with they’re life. I wish that I could turn back the time, and watch myself, see if I did change, and how I changed. If I did change for the worse, I’d apologize; I highly doubt that’s the case though. We all know I cannot turn back the time, So I guess you’ll just have to get used to it. <BR><BR>MeLLie <BR></P>

Where Do I Start?

<P><FONT face=Arial><BR>All the times i trusted you, all those times that i cared and that one time too many that you played me like a fool. I sit and wonder why i trusted you so many times and now i know it's what i called Friendship. To pull through the good times, and the bad but when the bad out way the good and not just slightly, it brought me to thinking, I can't stand you. Or anythig about you. I've had enough of the games you continue to play with my <STRONG>Friends </STRONG>and then u act like it's all</FONT><FONT face=Arial size=3> <U><FONT size=5><STRONG>OKAY </STRONG></FONT></U>well it's <U><FONT size=5><STRONG>NOT</STRONG></FONT></U>  you wonder why so many people hate you. Maybe because your a self centred bw*z$ who thinks the whole world <STRONG><FONT size=5>HAS</FONT></STRONG> to revolve around you, you overstep boundaries you shouldn't. Like hitting on someone elses boyfriend. Dude. No. Just No. I don't care about you like i used to. For i don't care at all. <BR><BR>I used to care what you thought, and used to share my deepest thoughts with you, after all that's what friends do, I didn't go too deep though, there was something telling me not too. And i'm glad i didn't. Somethings i don't like about what you've done are, going out with a good friend of mine for a year and a half getting engaged after the first week or so. Him buying you <STRONG><U><FONT size=5>EVERYTHING</FONT></U></STRONG> that you wanted him too then u dumping him for no good reason what-so-ever. Only to be a tramp. Jokes on you sweet heart, he really did cheat on you the last time. Your grip on him had warn thin so thin he'd slipped away, he seen the game you were playing. He didn't know you'd be so cold, as to turn around and say a year and a half...of his life had been a lie. Despite all the bad things you did to this poor kid, He loved you. He loved you so damn much and you trampled him. Like you will this new guy. But then again this new guy has more Money, So...You might stay with him a bit longer.<BR><BR>People may read this and think i'm cold. But know, I'm Not I'm really a nice person. I just don't like people who manipulate and use others for self satisfaction. She thought no one would ever do wrong by her,. her own self obsession of cheating and lying will be what leaves her alone. She says it's my fault her friends hate her, when i have nothing to do with it. They hate her because of how she treated her ex boyfriend. Who they're friends with too. Not to mention she was hitting on a few of their boyfriends, Yeah i'd be mad too.<BR><BR>Anyways Time to sign off, Hopefully next time...it'll be positive<BR><BR>Mellie.</FONT></P>